Put Downs

[Progo35]

For a while, I've noticed a tendency to get into very personal, jarring put-downs when we get into disagreements about things. I really think that this needs to stop. This needs to be a place where people can feel safe sharing their ideas.

[keltic63]

another question that then needs to be addressed is that of passive-aggressive behaviors.

When the [passive-aggressive] behaviors are part of a person's disorder or personality style, repercussions are usually not immediate, but instead accumulate over time as the individuals affected by the person come to recognize the disavowed aggression coming from that person. People with this personality style are often quite unconscious of their impact on others, and thus may be genuinely dismayed when held to account for the inconvenience or discomfort caused by their passive-aggressive behaviors. In that context, there is a failure to see how they might have provoked a negative response, so they feel misunderstood, held to unreasonable standards, and/or put upon.

[Zerbie]

What if we all choose to ignore and stop responding to posts/threads that are aggressive, provocative, laden with non-viable comparisons, veiled insults and accusations?

[antonyh]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

What if we all choose to ignore and stop responding to posts/threads that are aggressive, provocative, laden with non-viable comparisons, veiled insults and accusations?

The "war thread" started by Progo was provocative and certainly brought out the anti-war folks among us. This is a very weighty issue in our society and most people have very strong convictions about it. I am sorry that the tread degenerated into sniping between certain unnamed members.

It was one of the best threads I've ever participated in...I learned a tremendous amount. It has challenged me to look for ways to participate in the anti-war movement in 2008 and do more research into the neocons and their connection with the religious right.

The problem is that people's egos get the better of them and then it becomes personal.

How can you discuss the war on Iraq and not run into aggressive, provocative material?

[andrewlittle]

Originally Posted by antonyh

How can you discuss the war on Iraq and not run into aggressive, provocative material?

How can someone start a thread about a provocative subject, give it a title that is obviously meant to be salacious, post an opinion that he or she knows will go against the grain of many present on the forums, dodge critical issues brought up in other people's posts, sidestep your own inferences, and then complain that the thread degenerates to "put downs"?


You want to discuss contentious issues - then be prepared for the discussion to get - oh, I don't now - contentious, perhaps. If all you're going to bring to the table, in the end, is your own hyper-sensitivity, then the discussion is probably best not broached in the first place. To engage in this kind of dialogue does take a commitment to having a thicker than normal skin, does it not?

Also, when it does get hot in the kitchen in which you starting the cooking, it seems a little insincere to get huffy and personalize all the responses.

[Progo35]

Okay, so I this is the attitude I'm seeing: If Meghan starts a provocative thread, and then we attack her disability or her mention thereof, than its okay, even though we all have felt the sting of people attacking our sexual orientation and acknowledge that this is wrong. It's not the same thing when we attack Meghan, because, after all, Meghan's just making it up/it's an excuse."

[tpdncr4christ]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

What if we all choose to ignore and stop responding to posts/threads that are aggressive, provocative, laden with non-viable comparisons, veiled insults and accusations?

I agree with Zerbie. Rather than get into heated arguments, just ignore the stuff. It's much easier. (Even though I had to think REALLY hard to understand what she was saying, I agree with her )

[antonyh]

Originally Posted by tpdncr4christ

I agree with Zerbie. Rather than get into heated arguments, just ignore the stuff. It's much easier. (Even though I had to think REALLY hard to understand what she was saying, I agree with her )

It is much easier. Let's just ignore the genocide going on under the heat of our bombs. Let's not talk about it. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Let's give the Neocons free reign to influence the direction of our foreign policy. Let's ignore the rise of the religious right as the burrow deep into the American government and seek to subvert it. Too controversial to talk about. Get's too heated.

It is also much easier to stay home by the fire and play with our barbie dolls instead of going out onto the streets of American in the cold winter to protest the war.

Give me a break. This is Soulforce, not gaybie world.

[tpdncr4christ]

Originally Posted by antonyh

It is much easier. Let's just ignore the genocide going on under the heat of our bombs. Let's not talk about it. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Let's give the Neocons free reign to influence the direction of our foreign policy. Let's ignore the rise of the religious right as the burrow deep into the American government and seek to subvert it. Too controversial to talk about. Get's too heated.

It is also much easier to stay home by the fire and play with our barbie dolls instead of going out onto the streets of American in the cold winter to protest the war.

Give me a break. This is Soulforce, not gaybie world.

I think you misunderstood my point. I didn't read much of the war thread because I know I'd end up with a very heated opinion about it and throw some angry words around and I didn't want to do that so I ignored the thread, not the issue, the thread.

[antonyh]

Originally Posted by tpdncr4christ

I think you misunderstood my point. I didn't read much of the war thread because I know I'd end up with a very heated opinion about it and throw some angry words around and I didn't want to do that so I ignored the thread, not the issue, the thread.

Gotcha. There is nothing wrong with your strong feelings about the war.

[keltic63]

this has become an extension of the argument in the "war" thread, which I locked once today.

If you'd all like to discuss insults in another, appropriately titled thread, you may do so. This thread is locked for going off-topic.