My Call

[BrianB]

When reading this thread a scripture kept coming in my mind. Galatians 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.
I believe this is saying "Keep on doing faithfully the things you find to do. When the time is right then God will send what or who you need."

Hopefully that's of some benefit to you, Dave. That verse just came up strongly in my mind.

[BenL]

Dave,

You're so lucky to have something to discern about! I say that with only a teensy bit of bitterness -- well, maybe a dollop. OK, I'm envious.

Really, give thanks that you are in this struggle. What a great place to be! No matter what you decide you know that it will be grace-filled just because you have engaged in the process honestly.

I wish I had the sense of calling that you have. I did at one time, but back then you couldn't be gay and do what I thought God wanted me to do. My life has taken such a different turn since then, one for which I am sincerely grateful. But as far as calling ... I don't sense it in any strong way at all.

I have no advice to add to the many eloquent voices here. Just remember to give thanks that this precious moment has been given to you, even if it doesn't feel like a comfortable place to be in at the moment.

[paul]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

When you write about such topics, Paul, it is like I see your words in giant block letters, it is so simple, direct, and clear.

You were NOT "out there" at ALL. You were IN. In the center of Jesus' teaching. Lilies of the field kinda thing.
See what I mean? Me and Zerbie resonate!
Man! did you learn that stuff IN A CHURCH? If you did, now I want to go.

No, didn't learn any of this at church, church is where I came up with the idea that it's weird. This is stuff I came to trying to reconcile being gay and Christian.

Because everyone but Paul answered you in worldly terms. Paul gave a religious answer.
I have to disagree angel Zerbie. You are way to generous . I think tdogg said some great stuff about love. Andy was brilliant as always. Daniel nailed the possible wounded teen angle...I completely missed that one. Pablo asks an important question that gives perspective. Brent pointed out the provision following faith (again, just different words). Ben reminds us to be thankful, a real key to being able to rest and see clearly. And I am just touching on it, I left a bunch out. I'm really floored by the collective wisdom here.

(I feel like a 2 year old next to his mature insights. Where's my lollipop?)

Now you all know why I like Zerbie so much. What she is not pointing out is how many times I've felt the same way with things she has said. Mostly it is her example of love. Zerbie doesn't love in word or tongue but in deed and in truth. anyone want to join our mutual admiration society?

[kara speltz]

Originally Posted by u-dog

Oh... where to start?


There's more... but it will come out when you all ask the right questions. Pray for my discernment because I really feel like God is doing something in me right now. Something that He has been preparing for me for a long time now- maybe my whole life.
I would particularly appreciate the feedback and opinions of the younger set -- even (especially) the new kids.

Dear Dave: Coming into this discussion very late in the dialogue, haven't even had time to read all of the wonderful advice, I know you've gotten, but I just had to say trust that feeling! God has her own way of speaking to each of us, but I have never had that sense in my life when in retrospect after moving on it, it didn't become obvious, that it was indeed God's voice.

Transformational moments are terrifying and almost tintilating (sp?), wondering where God will take you next. Kara

[kara speltz]

Now that I've read all the fabulous replies, I wanted to add something to my first post. If you can get a hold of it through Netflex, or some other video/dvd rental, be sure to see the movie, "Entertaining Angels." Its the story of Dorothy Day's early days of founding the Catholic Worker. It leaves out far, far too much, but the one thing that comes across so strongly is her faith in God. Day in and day out, she kept the Catholic Worker going, never knowing from one day to the next where the money might come from. More than any other human being, Dorothy taught me that if you follow the path God has placed you on, God will always be faithful in taking care of us. Remember that wonderful scripture verse about Soloman in all his splendor? I'm Catholic so I never know exactly where these things are, but.....

Can't wait to see where all of this leads...... Much love, Kara

[elcharrom]

Hmm...your way of introducing your problem kind of reminds me of my way? I dont know

In my confusion right now giving advice feels so awkward, needing advice yet giving it feels awkward but nonetheless I do have this to say:

That if I understand correctly U-dog, you also have a deafening trust in God, a deafening trust in Jesus, you have a feeling within you that say go for it, and a feeling of doom inside of you, the doubt we all find within ourselves, the thing that prevents us from entering dark rooms, the thing that prevents us from messing with anything we deem scary, but in that darkness shrouded in mystery shrouded in doubt, God shines through, and we must trust in him and relieve ourselves of all worries and let him speak to us, Ill tell you Im again finding this hope and unfallible trust as Im writing this right now, and Its a wonderful feeling. Perhaps we think too much, those raw emotions we were born with being pushed aside by logic, at other times its the other way, right now Im pushing it and Im falling asleep and yet fully awake spirtually, funny feeling yet not so funny considering I have school tomorrow, so I guess I should be goin to sleep. Good night yall, I spoke from the heart and hope this advice helps you u-dog mimi time for me

[sailaway58]

David Crosby / James Raymond



There was a peace of a song I heard the other day

Some words I heard this singer say

Something in me loved the way that it sounded

When he said how he wanted to stand

Stand and be counted



Now, sometimes I talk to myself in the early dawn

Before all the fragments of my dreams are gone

Things you don't know why your mind held on to

Or else sometimes you know more than you want to



Stand an be counted, stand on the truth

Stand on your honor, stand and be counted



And I wonder who that kid was standing brave and trim

And I hear myself breathe and I know that I was him

Defender of the poor and those who cannot speak

I thought I'd be standing by the dam trying to stop the leak



So concerned with matters of the heart

And knowing the millenium was just about to start

And knowing that somehow we could make a difference



I want to stand alone in front of the world and that oncoming tank

Like that Chinese boy that we all have to thank

He showed us in a picture that I have mounted

Excactly what it means to stand and be counted

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by paul

Now you all know why I like Zerbie so much. What she is not pointing out is how many times I've felt the same way with things she has said. Mostly it is her example of love. Zerbie doesn't love in word or tongue but in deed and in truth. anyone want to join our mutual admiration society?

Well, I was trying to quote your response that was in the other quote box and it didn't appear here.

Anyway, you're correct about all those insights everyone had. I was really speaking for myself. I answered Dave in a completely worldly way.

I'm exhausted. Whatever.

Yay, Aren't we all great?