Hey, I'm Kiwi

[kiwi_kid]

Hey everyone,

I recently saw this group, "soulforce" in a video I downloaded off the net called "curing homosexuality" which I believe was originally aired in australia about the anti-gay or ex-gay movement.

I'm a 22 year old Canadian "ex-victim" of the ex-gay movement. I really related to the ministries that soulforce leads. Although I do not call myself christian anymore, I do consider myself sympathetic to the christian movement combating the ex-gay movement.

My parents found out I was gay when I was 17 years old and from there onwards it has been quite the emotional battle for me. I was forced into ex-gay therapy from aged 17 to 19. My brain, soul and whole mental wellbeing was tainted by evangelistic james dobson 'focus on the family'esque ideas and literature.

Some of my most poignant memories is attending an ex-gay support group when I was still a teenager. The room was full of crying married men who had recently cheated on their wives with men. Another support group I was made to attend was one for sexually deviant christians. This included people that battled with problems from incest, rape, chronic masturbation, adultery and of course, homosexuality.

Am I bitter? Of course. The church battered and broke me into a very hollow person on the brink of suicide. Quite frankly, the only thing that saved me was constant drug use or alcohol. Which were quite nasty habits to give up.

What am I up to now? I am almost graduated (3 months more!!) from a Naval Architecture program and will soon start down the life of professionalism. No more drugs. Alcohol in responsible doses and needing to quit cigarettes. We all have issues I suppose.

My advice to someone who is young and stuck in the anti-gay or ex-gay movment?

Hold on, things get better. If you can find "God" in all of this, perfect for you. I think I lost him more or less. Yet who knows, life goes on. Don't do drugs, finish school and clean between your toes.

If you don't think God is proud of you, I am.

Cheers

Cory

[Zerbie]

Omigosh Kid, or Kiwi, (which do you prefer?) - what a horrible, horrible ordeal!!!


Thank God (or whatever positive force) that you made it!

Sounds like you're really seeing success now. I hope somehow you and your parents manage to start putting your relationship back together, but those things go slowly. Do they feel any differently now?

Very best of luck to you with your degree and your new career. You have some toughness to have gotten through all of that!

Glad you're here!

[Vanessa White]

I cannot personally identify with your experience, but I empathize with the pain that you experienced then, and understand how you could feel so betrayed by the church, even God, now. Just remember, whether you pursue Christianity or not, God did not abandon you, even in those darkest times. Even though it might have felt that way, often the humans on this earth due unjust things, and try to state it is in the name of God. Not so. God loves you, me, all of us, just as we are-beautiful, unique, scared and flawed, but only as we are intended to be.

Anyway, enough of that- welcome to the fold!!!

[scott snedeker]

Originally Posted by Vanessa White

God loves you, me, all of us, just as we are-beautiful, unique, scared and flawed, but only as we are intended to be.

Anyway, enough of that- welcome to the fold!!!

I love that last line!

Welcome Home! Brother!

You area a man with soul of a man handsome of body and spirit. God made you with attraction to men because another of his children that he has created in this way needs you. It is His plan for you to find each other. And when you do, He will share in your Joy much like a parent watching his child opening a present at Christmas.

[Gennee]

Welcome to Soulforce, Kiwi. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry about what you went throuugh. I will pray that God will heal you and guide you.

Gennee

[Jennifer5]

Welcome