status521

[Zerbie]

Wow. I would think that would be an unsettling dream.

We don't know you so we can't guess what it "means," but tell us (if you don't mind the question,) do those words at the end of the dream reflect some fear you have that they just *might* be true?

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by status521

so i awoke this morning w/ a start. the dream was vivid. real. the whole concept of the dream is not as important as how it ended: i was some director or something for a news program and was behind the camera watching as what dialogue unfolded... all the anchors were rushing off to some large party... a beautiful woman stood there talking about what the evening was going to be like, when the male getting around to leave stated, "look. God is not merciful. He is not of grace. There is no grace or mercy with Him. This is an illusion... a myth."

i woke up.

strange, huh?

i have not been able to shake these words all day. as i prepared to go to church, looked back over my sunday school lesson, prepared to 'do my thing' - these words echoed throughout my mind.

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Wow. I would think that would be an unsettling dream.

We don't know you so we can't guess what it "means," but tell us (if you don't mind the question,) do those words at the end of the dream reflect some fear you have that they just *might* be true?

my thoughts exactly.

I've been paying attention to my dreams, and in particular those dreams in which my departed grandmother appears. they are so very real to me, and I am convinced that she is bringing me messages. is the message of this dream a tape that plays in your head, a message, perhaps of your own making, that you are not worthy of God's mercy and grace? perhaps because of the burden you've carried you have missed the glory of God's mercy and grace and now you fear that it is not there for you?

when you've come out into the sunshine, I assure you, God's grace and mercy will flow for you. My worst day since being out can never compare to my easiest day hiding in the closet.

[Daniel]

If I may- I would like to offer this dream interpretation.

The female in the room is your intuition- your inner feminine- Sophia- as she is called in the East. She's anticipating- waiting- for the party to begin- that is- your transformation.

The male is the part of your mind that 'logics' things out. He represents all that you fear- the changes that will unfold.

All this aside, the really great thing about the dream is that you are the director. You get to decide which voice to listen to. The voice of fear, or the voice of Love.

My advice: listen to Sophia. Go to the Party.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by Daniel

If I may- I would like to offer this dream interpretation.

The female in the room is your intuition- your inner feminine- Sophia- as she is called in the East. She's anticipating- waiting- for the party to begin- that is- your transformation.

The male is the part of your mind that 'logics' things out. He represents all that you fear- the changes that will unfold.

All this aside, the really great thing about the dream is that you are the director. You get to decide which voice to listen to. The voice of fear, or the voice of Love.

My advice: listen to Sophia. Go to the Party.

I too was struck by the gendered casting of this dream. We tend to view intellect and thought process as gendered masculine, so that is why I asked if this might be some way-old fear you've been carrying. Leave it to the rational Arguer, masculine mind, to make a thesis statement.

Just another thought to take or leave as you wish.

[status521]

gosh, you guys are spot on here. thanks zerbie, keltic and daniel for your thoughts. especially the concept of the gender roles present and what they represent. man, gonna need to think on this a bit.

okay, here's the story... you know, the getting to know me better really. this whole concept of grace and mercy are something i wrestle w/ all the time w/ God. all the time. easy to encourage others to believe in it, but when it comes to your own life --- well, a tough pill to swallow. i'm sure you all know the routine, we just know ourselves and know our ticks, our struggles, etc... and attempting to figure out that God loves us anyway in the midst of it is something difficult to wrap our minds or even dare i say i our wills around.

i believe this dream came out of this past week having discovered soulforce. i really do. through this forum, through personal pm's from a few of you something has happened. for the first time i feel as though it's okay to be me... and see where that leads... you know? and in truth, it was one of the better weeks i've had in a long time. w/ that of course comes looking at life a bit differently. i suppose in the back of my mind still is the never ending saga of wondering of His grace.

wow. grappling w/ that --- well, hmm... the journey has begun. but that said.... daniel, i've got the party invitation in hand... i'm on my way.

[Daniel]

Something tells me that you are going to be having some interesting dreams to mull over....

Originally Posted by status521

gosh, you guys are spot on here. thanks zerbie, keltic and daniel for your thoughts. especially the concept of the gender roles present and what they represent. man, gonna need to think on this a bit.

okay, here's the story... you know, the getting to know me better really. this whole concept of grace and mercy are something i wrestle w/ all the time w/ God. all the time. easy to encourage others to believe in it, but when it comes to your own life --- well, a tough pill to swallow. i'm sure you all know the routine, we just know ourselves and know our ticks, our struggles, etc... and attempting to figure out that God loves us anyway in the midst of it is something difficult to wrap our minds or even dare i say i our wills around.

A term comes to mind here: internalized homophobia. We don't give ourselve's a break even though we may know the drill as it pertains to others. We can see them in the light of Grace. But ourselves? That can be harder to do, especially when someone has taught us that their love is conditional on their approval: their homophobia becomes our homophobia and we hardly even know it.....

i believe this dream came out of this past week having discovered soulforce. i really do. through this forum, through personal pm's from a few of you something has happened. for the first time i feel as though it's okay to be me... and see where that leads... you know? and in truth, it was one of the better weeks i've had in a long time. w/ that of course comes looking at life a bit differently. i suppose in the back of my mind still is the never ending saga of wondering of His grace.

It's more than ok for you to be you: you are uncovering or discovering the real you which has been there all along.

And the eyes of the blind shall be opened....and the ears of the deaf unstopped.

wow. grappling w/ that --- well, hmm... the journey has begun. but that said.... daniel, i've got the party invitation in hand... i'm on my way.

Party on!

[Zerbie]

I'd like to send you some of these:

There, done. Now, below:

Originally Posted by status521

this whole concept of grace and mercy are something i wrestle w/ all the time w/ God. all the time. easy to encourage others to believe in it, but when it comes to your own life --- well, a tough pill to swallow. i'm sure you all know the routine, we just know ourselves and know our ticks, our struggles, etc... and attempting to figure out that God loves us anyway in the midst of it is something difficult to wrap our minds or even dare i say i our wills around.

((( Stat )))

If grace and mercy are difficult to believe in, what might you expect in their stead? Abandonment? Punishment??


May I ask directly? Are these fears related to being gay? Or are they more generalized than that?

If it is related to being gay, then I am with Daniel: internalized homophobia. Do a search on the term on this forum's search function, and you will find some of our stories.

For whatever it might be worth, God cannot abandon you. The love that he has for you will always bring his arms rushing to enfold you in gentleness. He cannot do otherwise, he IS that divine love.








i believe this dream came out of this past week having discovered soulforce. i really do. through this forum, through personal pm's from a few of you something has happened. for the first time i feel as though it's okay to be me... and see where that leads... you know? and in truth, it was one of the better weeks i've had in a long time.


I am so glad.
Yes. It is okay. You are safe here.
It is now important to make your inner heart a safe sanctuary for your true self.


w/ that of course comes looking at life a bit differently. i suppose in the back of my mind still is the never ending saga of wondering of His grace.
.

If God is God, then he knew who you would be when he made you. Obviously he loved you enough to make you and imbue you with love, so, imo, there's the answer.



You are loved and wanted. (and that includes here.)

[Vanessa White]

You know, Status, the exciting, loving part of the journey that you are now on, is that we are ALL on it. There is so much learning and growing going on at this place at any given moment it is almost incomprehensible. Sure, we are all at different parts of the path, and sometimes we stumble, and go back, sometimes we run ahead, sometimes we sit on a bench that we find along the way. But we always do it while knowing we have one another to support, cajole, cheer up, kick in the butt, and just BE with.

I have made some of the best friends of my current life here. I bring burdens and joys of my heart here more willingly than to those in 3D at times!!! You are definitely safe, welcome, and among friends here.

[Jennifer5]

Welcome!!