Hello, My name is Mike

[mdhesswriter]

Just looking to see how my family is doing these days. I have been mostly gay all my life, but I also tried the straight life too. Was married twice, the first mariage lasted twenty-four years and I have two wonderful childern that know I prefer guys to gals. My second wife died January 15, 2008 and we were married on the 14 of January 2007. She accepted my views on homosexuality and supported my efforts in trying to imform others that God created each individual as a whole unit no matter their lifestyle.
I grew up in a period that if you where gay you had a mental problems.
My first boyfriend Tommy, told me that all I needed to do was find a good girl to be with and I would change. I found that girl, but I still was attacted to guys, the feeling has not left me even to this day. I had to fantasize about past sexual encounters with guys to preform sexual relations with my wife, it was the only way that I could have any meaningful sexual relations.
I had various boyfriends over the years and did not cheat on my first wife for over twelve years, but was torn apart inside as I needed another man in my life even though I was married to another, that relationship with another guy lasted thirteen years and I still miss him dearly. But that boyfriend decided he would like to try the straight life also, so he married another and his wife give him AIDS, as she messed around with other men and had unprotective sex with them before she married my boyfriend. I still talk to my ex-boyfriend on the phone and have seen him twice, but just to talk to. Though he still wanted a relationship with a guy, I refused to have sex with him. It is awful to want somebody else when married to another. The tangle a life that we get ourselves into would not happen if the relionists would accept us for how God made us. As whole individual beings in His image.

[andrewlittle]

There's a lot of pain flowing through your words. This is a good place to be when you are hurting.

There is also of lot of honesty, and a distinct integrity, that shows through.

The last part about religionists is very, very true. But here, at least, you are valued as a gift and image of a living God. I pray you find kinship here.

Andy

[paul]

Mike,
Welcome.

I am sorry to hear of your painful life. I hope you stick around and become part of our community, I think you will find healing in the acceptance you will find here.

I think peoples acceptance or rejection of another person, be they gay or otherwise, is a reflection of their heart more than their religion. There are loving people in most religions that I know of, then there are people who use their religion to try and affirm their prejudice. Interesting that the bible teaches that God judges the heart, not the outward appearance of a person.

Anyhoo, welcome to you. Stick around and get some friends here .
paul

[Zerbie]

Welcome, Mike.

Condolences on your recent loss.

I'm glad you found this place - you will find much kindness here.

[Daniel]

Welcome. And as Zerbie has expressed: condolences on your loss- and I should add- losses. It sounds like you've gone through a great deal.

I hope you are able to find greater peace, happiness and tranquility in your life- and future.

[Gennee]

Welcome to soulforce, Mike. My condolences on your wife's passing. You hae gone through alot but I'm happy that you shared it. I pray that you can find healing and community here.

Gennee

[Jennifer5]

Welcome