Oklahoma State Legislator Sally Kern

[paul]

I love you people and I love this place. I think Ms. Kern needs to join SoulForce. Perhaps we should send her an invite.

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by paul

I love you people and I love this place. I think Ms. Kern needs to join SoulForce.

See! that's just the kind of subversive and terroristic activities that Ms. Kern is talking about! You GAYS are all alike!








I love you too!

[Emproph]

Originally Posted by paul

I love you people and I love this place. I think Ms. Kern needs to join SoulForce. Perhaps we should send her an invite.

Originally Posted by keltic63

See! that's just the kind of subversive and terroristic activities that Ms. Kern is talking about! You GAYS are all alike!

Originally Posted by Joe Brummer

I could spend a lifetime trying to convince you, gays and lesbians don’t indoctrinate youth and that the gay agenda is really about the safety and wellbeing of gay people, but I sense that you may not be in a place where you would hear me. Either way, I invite you to Rhode Island to spend some time with my partner, me and some of our friends. I would love for you to learn about us. I would love for you to see the gay agenda for yourself and see that it has very real families and people attached to it. It is not a vast conspiracy but a word that has real lives attached to it. My partner holds a PhD in community health and I work in mental health training and advocacy. We would feel delighted to have you in our home to meet our friends and see our lives. (I must warn you our life is pretty boring)

For what it's worth, I've noticed that this is one gesture that is never made by the other side, but more importantly, is very OFTEN made by our side. And also, to my awareness, NEVER taken up on by them.

So, it would seem that we need to make our invitations just a little bit more...irresistible.

Ok, we're gay. Knowing that we epitomize the meaning of fun, how best to do that in this situation?

[paul]

Originally Posted by Emproph

For what it's worth, I've noticed that this is one gesture that is never made by the other side, but more importantly, is very OFTEN made by our side. And also, to my awareness, NEVER taken up on by them.

So, it would seem that we need to make our invitations just a little bit more...irresistible.

Ok, we're gay. Knowing that we epitomize the meaning of fun, how best to do that in this situation?

How about an invitation with nude photographs???

sorry, sorry, sorry .

Perhaps if we made the invitation public. Ms. Kern is a public 'servant' so if part of the public she purportedly represents offered her the opportunity to better serve, how could she resist???

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Nate

I'm really interested in your thoughts and ideas about restating/rewriting this letter. I like Joe's letter, but I don't know if I think it's effective/strong enough. Maybe I'm still angry

Representative Sally Kern,

I know that your faith informs your prejudice towards the gay & lesbian citizens of Oklahoma, including those in your district.

I realize that you believe being gay is wrong and, that despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, you believe the Bible supports your view. It would be your right to believe the earth was flat, if you so desired.

However, I take deep offense that you would invoke the name of Christ in one breath and in the next say that I and my family are worse than terrorists.

Maam, you may not remember what happened on 9-11. You may have forgotten what happened at the Murrah building. But I haven't. I remember that religious extremists both Muslim and Christian were responsible for the heartbreaking loss of life.

You are a pastor's wife and an elected official, yet you lack dignity, wisdom and grace.

You have not done well in your commitment to represent Christ and you have certainly failed to truly represent all of the citizens of your district.

It is my hope that you will recant your statements about gay & lesbian people and that you will reevaluate your methods of garnering support from those in your district. If you are truly a person of integrity and purpose, you will not need to resort to inciting fear and hate to gain power.

I am praying for your reconciliation to a sincere walk of Christian love.

Nate- I think you can write the exact same letter, but in doing so, change the focus from the person to the ignorance and misinformation.

While subtle, the word change, from you, to the actions or thoughts behind the actions changes the context, and thus, the interaction.

She may be one offensive lady- and under the circumstances- is on the defensive- seeing that her words were broadcasted for all to hear without her knowledge. That's no way to establish a dialogue, right? So- as I see it- she'll be saying more stuff like she's been saying for a while to come.

She's gotta defend that ego- even more than the thinking behind it at this point. And any statements that are accusatory (and you signifies an accusation) only keeps her doing things the same old way.

That said, your third use of 'you' is different in that is doesn't come off as an accusation. See the difference?

Words are funny things. They are tools that can either cut or heal.

Another matter comes to mind here: your letter first starts off with the use of "I" and then switches to "you". This, in itself, casts the letter into "us' and "them" territory.

In sum, I believe you can say the same thing with a little reframing.

OK. Now I apologize it this is a bit too editorial on my part. But that's what I do sometimes (in real life).

I love your passion, strength and commitment.

[Vanessa White]

I read an affirmation today that I think fits this scenario in a way. A part of me believes that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to handle this situation; there are only more or less effective ways to address it, depending on what we would like the outcome to be. For me, the outcome is not educating this woman, because based on her comments to the press, and after 3,000 emails, it does not sound as if she wants to believe any different than what she is accustomed to.

How we address any situation, and the consequences of that, are all a matter of whether we take the situation by the handle or the blade of the knife. The abrupt, impulsive, compassionate side of me, for my community, is that I want to grab the blade quickly that she seems to be trying to use against us.

Of course, we know that ending......

Another part of me wants me to take the handle, even asking her to hand over her weapon, like a person committing a crime, and that I UNDERSTAND where she is coming from, that I want to help her through this.

A part of me believes that she probably thinks that she has no constituents that are gay. She really seems to believe that she is doing society a favor by "exposing" our illicit acts as a "gay agenda"; and that makes us nonhuman, but rather, a force. She doesn't see us as people, I cannot assume that is because she thinks we are less than human, but that she believes we ONLY represent to her an agenda, not human smiles and faces and hearts and minds and families and mortgages.

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by Daniel

Nate- I think you can write the exact same letter, but in doing so, change the focus from the person to the ignorance and misinformation.

While subtle, the word change, from you, to the actions or thoughts behind the actions changes the context, and thus, the interaction.

She may be one offensive lady- and under the circumstances- is on the defensive- seeing that her words were broadcasted for all to hear without her knowledge. That's no way to establish a dialogue, right? So- as I see it- she'll be saying more stuff like she's been saying for a while to come.

She's gotta defend that ego- even more than the thinking behind it at this point. And any statements that are accusatory (and you signifies an accusation) only keeps her doing things the same old way.

That said, your third use of 'you' is different in that is doesn't come off as an accusation. See the difference?

Words are funny things. They are tools that can either cut or heal.

Another matter comes to mind here: your letter first starts off with the use of "I" and then switches to "you". This, in itself, casts the letter into "us' and "them" territory.

In sum, I believe you can say the same thing with a little reframing.

OK. Now I apologize it this is a bit too editorial on my part. But that's what I do sometimes (in real life).

I love your passion, strength and commitment.

Thank you so much, Daniel... that really helps. And I wanted to acknowledge Joe too... I really appreciate that he addressed this issue with me. Being a part of this community is really life-changing for me. I hope it is for everyone else too.

[nmwolfboy]

Was sent this link today by a friend:

http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-sc...-son-20080312/

Oy. That adds a whole other layer to this.

Pax

scott

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by nmwolfboy

Was sent this link today by a friend:

http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-scrubs-gay-son-2008

Oy. That adds a whole other layer to this.

Pax

scott

But this one might...

http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-sc...-son-20080312/


Disturbing to say the least......

[keltic63]

Originally Posted by Daniel

But this one might...

http://www.queerty.com/sally-kern-sc...-son-20080312/


Disturbing to say the least......

ooh, a gay son, cruising restrooms at a Baptist University? that's too much!


go down and click on the Ellen Calls Kern link....

http://www.queerty.com/ellen-calls-kern-20080312/

or just click on it from here.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by keltic63

ooh, a gay son, cruising restrooms at a Baptist University? that's too much!


go down and click on the Ellen Calls Kern link....

http://www.queerty.com/ellen-calls-kern-20080312/

or just click on it from here.

If this turns out to be true- ie gay son cruising the men's room and Mommy in high dudgeon. Ok.....that's very 'personality detective' of me. Bad Daniel!

It would, however, explain a lot of things.

And by queer, I mean that in the proper (not venacular) sense of the word.

Very odd this kind of situation.

Best I can see coming out of it (now there's a pun): mother and son start talking to one another.

That would be a good thing.

Something worth working for......

[seifer_boy]

lol, I was gonna make a post about this topic until I saw that you already did. I just read about it in my e-mail from a human rights society newsletter that I signed up for. I'll post about this in another forum I'm a member of, that way more people can be informed on matters like these. Thanks for the discussion!

[NathanATX]

Here's the email I just sent to Kern, all Oklahoma Senators, the Mayor, local nonprofits & media.

Good evening Ziva Branstetter, Kristin Dickerson, Mayor Taylor, Oklahoma Senators, Representative Kern, et. al.,

Oklahomans for Equality is hosting a multi-organization press conference regarding Sally Kern’s statements on Thursday, March 13th at 2:00 PM. I hope you or a representative from your office can come. I am a volunteer with OkEq because I believe it is so vital that we change the culture in Oklahoma. I am sending this personal email to each of you because I believe we deserve to be represented by legislators who are conscious of and accountable to all of their constituency. It is time that we move past slandering and attacking individuals and entire groups of people. It is time we focus soley on the actual words and actions of injustice, inequality and hate.

Martin Luther King Jr. said that the goal isn’t to defeat "the enemy," but the goal is reconciliation. We are one family. We are one state. In his words, we are the Beloved Community.

My goal is not to destroy or defeat the person, Sally Kern. My goal is to stop the flow of spiritually and emotionally violent words she has said, hopefully by helping her to reevaluate her commitment as a leader in our state and as a Christian.

Representative Sally Kern is a well-meaning, good hearted woman. As angry and upset as I was last week, I still know that she really is a wonderful woman who cares about people and believes she’s doing right.

When any of us make mistakes on grand scales, it is incredibly difficult to address the real issues because we are often busy defending our wounded egos. I believe Rep. Kern is very overwhelmed with the international attention her words have been given and, at this time, she really isn’t able to seriously evaluate or authentically dialogue the possibility she may have said something wrong. It is my intention to not exacerbate her defensiveness and I’m committed that anything I publicly say in the future will be directed at what was actually said and done, as opposed to attacking her personhood.

Oklahoma is on too many of our nation’s "worst" lists for my personal comfort. We need leaders who can speak to the gravest issues facing our families with power, clarity and vision. Why do our schools accept 45% accuracy on our state’s placement tests to be proficient in subject matter, while our national standards accept a minimum of 75% accuracy to be considered proficient. We need a transformation of leadership in our state. How could we pass HB 1804, the most racist, anti-family and anti-christian legislation in our nation? Why is race and ethnicity the statistical factor that often determines which students will drop out, which young girls will become pregnant, which person will be incarcerated, etc. How in the world did our legislators who purport to follow the teachings and examples of Jesus Christ, violently attack and debase our Muslim friends, neighbors and citizens by publicly refusing a gift of the Q’uran?

I’m proud of Tulsa and our leadership. I know we have much work to do and I think Mayor Taylor has brought revolutionary change to our city, but where is the statewide voice of integrity and reason? Why are we letting our legislators get away with the misuse of the taxpayer’s time, money and goodwill?

All of that to say, I may have really disliked what Representative Kern said, but she simply laid bare the thoughts, ideas and prejudices of many of our citizens. The responsibility to create change lies with each one of us. We have to confront and dispel misinformation. We have to illuminate and publicize prejudice. We have to make our neighbors and coworkers realize they have nothing to fear from anyone, except the intentional misuse and misrepresentation of a person’s power and position to inflict violence and prejudice on other people.

Representative Kern has done us a great favor by reminding us regardless of how safe we may feel in our small, safe communities... that injustice, racism, religious phobia, homophobia, heterosexism and many more issues are not only prevalent forces in our society, but they are becoming more powerful because no one is speaking truth to power and thus, the general population here has begun to believe these "bully pulpit" messages.

We need a concert of justice sounding from every corner of our state, and not just for our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender citizens, but our Hispanic brothers & sisters, our Muslim neighbors, our Black co-workers, and our Native American friends.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King Jr.

I hope you’ll come tomorrow.

Peace,
Nate Black

[seifer_boy]

I really liked that email you sent NathanATX. I wonder if it would do any good though. Most people like that never want change and continue their hurtful words and actions. I do wish you luck in at least some success.

[NathanATX]

I learned last night that Sallly Kern may have a gay son, whom she possibly disowned. Google Jesse Kern. There is an article on queerty.com that he was notoriously gay while a student at Oklahoma Baptist University.

I say "notoriously gay" because he was apparently in trouble several times making lewd advances in the campus’ restrooms... which is wrong, unhealthy and most likely evidence of the emotional dysfunction that many LGBT have to work through because their families and churches have been so spiritually and emotionally violent.

Sally Kern is a scared mother. She believes the horrible things she has been taught. She is terrified for her gay son because she truly believes God is waiting to roast him alive for eternity. She justifies her unkind and unloving words and actions as doing whatever necessary to save her son’s soul... regardless of how violent... and hopefully he and all the rest of the gay people in Oklahoma will somehow be saved from this monster God.

We need to see Sally Kern compassionately and we need to not let her get away with being unloving, unkind and unChristian.

[NathanATX]

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by dont flinch

I would prefer that this thread have not gotten off on this tangent BUT I have had friends that were BASHED, literally beaten, for being gay. You cannot "love" someone out of that behavior and behavior is driven by thoughts and words, sometimes such as hers.

I personally do not believe you will love this hate away.

.

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Joe's letter amazes me

Fwiw, Joe knows a lot about anti-gay violence, and he does not speak or write from a position of ignorance about the matter.


Vengeance cannot be the goal, rather, *fixing the problem* must be the goal.

Originally Posted by Joe Brummer

For the record flich,
I have been bashed twice. Once in 1990, I was beaten so bad my head swelled 4 or 5 times its normal size and mu face had a hole in it. Still have the scars. The second time, I was leaving a bar and got body slammed by some kids running down the street yelling anti-gay stuff. I broke my collar-bone and was knocked out.

Despite this violence, I still believe love will stop hate faster than more hate.

This is what amazes me, Joe. How have you been able to so thoroughly heal from those events and prevent the natural survival response of fighting back? Because that is what non-violence in this sort of context requires. I hope you don't mind if I ask this: do you not experience a body-based surge of self-defense rage when anti-gay words graze over into significant verbal violence? If you do, how do you calm it down and stop it from influencing your behavior? If you don't, how is it that you are able to avoid that response?

Joe, your ability to engage in the way that you do, in light of your experience, is amazing.

[Joe Brummer]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

This is what amazes me, Joe. How have you been able to so thoroughly heal from those events and prevent the natural survival response of fighting back? Because that is what non-violence in this sort of context requires.

I can't say I have healed thoroughly, but what pain and anger I have I transform the best I can to prevent it from happening to others. You are correct though, it is what nonviolence requires, that is what draws me to it.

Originally Posted by Zerbie

I hope you don't mind if I ask this: do you not experience a body-based surge of self-defense rage when anti-gay words graze over into significant verbal violence? If you do, how do you calm it down and stop it from influencing your behavior? If you don't, how is it that you are able to avoid that response?

I am learning to not hear the words people use, but the needs and feelings they express. I try to empathize with them, understand them and answer to their needs. The verbal violence has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with them. When you remove yourself from it, it doesn't hurt.

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Joe, your ability to engage in the way that you do, in light of your experience, is amazing.

Not really, It is not in light of my experiences that I engage this way, it is because of them.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Joe Brummer

I am learning to not hear the words people use, but the needs and feelings they express. I try to empathize with them, understand them and answer to their needs. The verbal violence has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with them. When you remove yourself from it, it doesn't hurt.

Perspective, as they say, is everything.

[Emproph]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

Here's the email I just sent to Kern, all Oklahoma Senators, the Mayor, local nonprofits & media.

The fact that you sent it to many more than just Kern’s office makes me feel confident that it will at least be read by some.

I especially concur with your assessment of this aspect of the situation:

When any of us make mistakes on grand scales, it is incredibly difficult to address the real issues because we are often busy defending our wounded egos. I believe Rep. Kern is very overwhelmed with the international attention her words have been given and, at this time, she really isn’t able to seriously evaluate or authentically dialogue the possibility she may have said something wrong.

Also, I very much liked the way you worded this:

We need a concert of justice sounding from every corner of our state, and not just for our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender citizens, but our Hispanic brothers & sisters, our Muslim neighbors, our Black co-workers, and our Native American friends.

Genuine.