Beltaine approaches, heralding the return of the Sun

[scott snedeker]

The Return of the Sun

The Beltaine Festival At the Short Mountain Sanctuary is counting down once again. Once more I look forward to living and loving amongst the Radical Faeries. It's coming May 1!!!!!


Historically, when the Druids and their successors raised the Beltaine fires on hilltops throughout the British Isles on May Eve, they were performing a real act of magic, for the fires were lit in order to bring the sun’s light down to earth. With th light of summer, roughly half-way between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice, Love blooms all around. The blossoms remind us of the rising love energy of the Forest Spirit.

The Rites of Spring

Beltaine is a time of fertility and unbridled merrymaking, when young and old will spend the night making love in the Greenwood.

The maypole—usually a birch or ash pole—will be raised, and dancing and feasting will began. Festivities will be led by the May Queen (a Faerie, of course) and her consort, the Green Man, the old god of the wildwood.

Arise at dawn and wash in the morning dew: the woman who washes her face in it will be beautiful; the man who washes his hands will be skilled with knots and nets. And the Faeries will just glow with the shining of their fabulousnes

Each will prepare a May basket by filling it with flowers and goodwill, then give it to one in need of caring, such as an elderly or ill friend in need of spiritual healing.

Beltaine is one of the three "spirit-nights" of the year when the faeries can be seen. At dusk, twist a rowan sprig into a ring and look through it, and you may see them. At SMS you can see us all day and all night and join in our love.

We will make a May bowl —wine or punch in which the flowers of sweet woodruff or other fragrant blossoms are soaked—and drink with the ones we love. I will be rejoinimg with three members of my love-circle once again to share the bliss of love-making as one soul.

I feel my spirit awaken with love and anticipation!!!!

[Vanessa White]

It sounds wondrous and beautiful; I can understand that you would be looking forward to this joyous celebration; and so glad for you that you will be reunited with those from your love circle. It sounds as if, even though I am contented with my Christian observances most of the time, that this type of worship/celebration is so pure, uninhibited and fully present. I love that part of your stories. And, the love abounds!!!!

[nmwolfboy]

i hope you find a blessed, loving, renewing Beltaine up on the mountain!

Pax
scott

[antiochian]

Still am thinking about dropping in on a RF thingie. Sounds fun. Although the online group annoyed me so I quit it.

[scott snedeker]

The physical manifestation of my spiritual journey has begun. Today I awoke with three of my love circle. I am inside joy! today is ready to be seized! The spirit of the forest is alive with love peace harmony and something else that I have not had awareness of before......wonder!

Wine and Ethiopian cuisine yesterday made for a feast and sharing that lead to a celebration to Pan later. Today is unplanned, but the spiritual energy needs none. Tomorrow I will visit a Tibetan sacred place for a meditation with the gentle souls who will honor me with their love, energy and presence.

I am learning to let go of attachment to pain and suffering. I Had the most insightful mediaition in which I connected to the love and empathy connection of many living beings. I came to feel this connection and awareness of this part of my being. That I am a lense for the joy and wonder of the spirit energy of living things. This energy is virtually enternal and death is merely a change in focus, timed to maximize joy!

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

! The spirit of the forest is alive with love peace harmony and something else that I have not had awareness of before......wonder!



Tomorrow I will visit a Tibetan sacred place for a meditation with the gentle souls who will honor me with their love, energy and presence.




I am learning to let go of attachment to pain and suffering.


Flexing emotional muscle is even more rewarding than flexing at the gym, ain't it?


I Had the most insightful mediaition

Was that this morning??


in which I connected to the love and empathy connection of many living beings. I came to feel this connection and awareness of this part of my being. That I am a lense for the joy and wonder of the spirit energy of living things. This energy is virtually enternal and death is merely a change in focus, timed to maximize joy!

[Gennee]

Originally Posted by Vanessa White

It sounds wondrous and beautiful; I can understand that you would be looking forward to this joyous celebration; and so glad for you that you will be reunited with those from your love circle. It sounds as if, even though I am contented with my Christian observances most of the time, that this type of worship/celebration is so pure, uninhibited and fully present. I love that part of your stories. And, the love abounds!!!!

I agree with Vanessa. This sounds so interesting and wonderful.

Gennee

[tymejumper]

Oh, Scotty! I hope you find all you seek and more. We have a small Beltain gathering here in Michigan, (up north from me) but it is always fraught with a lot of trauma. Around here is predominately CRC(Christain Reformed) and they do tend to throw a bit of a fit. It's actually pretty sad. I will make it one of these times.

Do you have hand-fastings on Beltain eve?

[scott snedeker]

I have not seen a hand fasting but then I have only been to Short Mountain twice.

For those of you furrowing your brow, Hand fasting is a betrothal ceremony where a couple's hands are tied together in a symbolic gesture. Usually this indicates a "marriage" lasting a year and a day. Although NeoPagan rituals are being performed with differing lengths of time.

Makiing a Gazpacho Analuz' for my lovers tonight ....Gotta Chop chop chop!

[scott snedeker]

As before I return with gentle memories of love on the mountain. We found another to add to our circle. He is a very gentle, loving, funny, delicate soul named Sapphire. We will be returning in the fall.

I finally met the actors from Shortbus. They are sweet and giving souls with courage and light.

I am grateful for my restored awareness. Love in action and thought is the expression of the energy that connects all living things. Many of the same lessons I Learned from connecting to the forest spirit through love-making I am now learning again, but from a Buddhist paradigm.

Again an apparently random selection of a CD set By Jack Kornfield has connected me with the teachings of Buddha. And as before, the apparently random is not random at all. I Have connected with other students of Jack Kornfield's Vipissana meditation center who have opened my awareness to the next level.

As I de-anesthetize myself to my inner being I feel a new excrutiating level of suffering. And just in time, before I break down, I am shown a way to ackowledge my suffering and let go of my attachment to it.

So I ask a very simple question. Am I suffering today? Yes?
Oh,...Must be very attached. How can I release my attachment? Practice, Practice, practice

[Zerbie]

Scotty, I feel fortunate that you share your process with us, let us watch you integrate right before our eyes.

It sure sounds like your recent retreat advanced you another level or several. I'm always interested to hear more about your process. How exciting and wonderful that you've landed on a new, more integrated level of practice. Spectacular!

Scotty. Ash. Thank you for your practice.
:l ove:

[antiochian]

Glad you had a good trip, dear! And to have come back wiser, a bonus.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

As before I return with gentle memories of love on the mountain. We found another to add to our circle. He is a very gentle, loving, funny, delicate soul named Sapphire. We will be returning in the fall.

I finally met the actors from Shortbus. They are sweet and giving souls with courage and light.

I am grateful for my restored awareness. Love in action and thought is the expression of the energy that connects all living things. Many of the same lessons I Learned from connecting to the forest spirit through love-making I am now learning again, but from a Buddhist paradigm.

Again an apparently random selection of a CD set By Jack Kornfield has connected me with the teachings of Buddha. And as before, the apparently random is not random at all. I Have connected with other students of Jack Kornfield's Vipissana meditation center who have opened my awareness to the next level.

As I de-anesthetize myself to my inner being I feel a new excrutiating level of suffering. And just in time, before I break down, I am shown a way to ackowledge my suffering and let go of my attachment to it.

So I ask a very simple question. Am I suffering today? Yes?
Oh,...Must be very attached. How can I release my attachment? Practice, Practice, practice

My heart is full for you......

The practices that your have found can be powerful indeed- and one must tread softly- like water on a rock. Push and there is a push back. A splash. And it can hit one in the face- as it were.

My word of caution: certain Buddhist practices can be very heady- that is- towards the head and not involve the heart or the lower energy centers. Each has its purpose. The thing to do is to be aware of this and to use discretion and skill...as one would use any tool. Dig too deep and too fast, and more harm than good can result.

The best thing- I have find- it to keep matter hearted-centered no matter what one is doing practice-wise, the heart, as it were, being between the head and the lower body. It is the great mediator.

I rejoice that you have found new love, light and awareness. And I offer my heart in recognition of your suffering. May you experience peace, joy and happiness.


One last thought: I would not worry about the word attachment. Certain Buddhist's make a great deal of this, as though one can choose to be unattached, and it is simply a matter of becoming 'unattached'. But if we look very closely, this becomes something of a mind-game. The truth is that we live in a body and are- relatively speaking- quite attached to it- as well as the thoughts that arise in the mind. The best one can do- I feel- is not to become unattached- but to bring 'space' around one's thoughts and feelings. Therein lies practice.

Letting go- then- happens as a matter of course.

[Zerbie]

Daniel is very wise about the heart. Keep the energy flowing from the heart and allow the heart to inform the other energy centers and any practices you do. It's been my experience so far that this can make a practice very deep while also keeping safety when needed.

[scott snedeker]

Thanks Zerbie, Daniel and Antiochian,

I've been practicing a Buddhist meditation on forgiveness for several days now. I'm finding that it's more than just saying I forgive trespasses against me by others, trespasses by me against myself, and my trespasses upon others.

Outside criticism of me by others activates self-judgement within me. This is something that by acknowledging, I can loosen my attachment to it.

The self-judgement vibration is strong within me, easily activated by outside input or spontaneously. This causes a brain physiologc change which in turn cause body physiologic change and behaviour change. Most of these are damaging.

The fact that thought can change physiology proves that intellect is integrated into my body. A complex organism indeed! My awareness of this intergration fills me with self-awe and comfort.

Forgiveness today has been afforded by my awareness of the integration of intellect with my body's physiology. I feel the changes physiologically. I feel empowered to overcome the fear that my mood disorder is progressive and ultimately fatal (a long slow death I seriously want to take the zero for!)

As I practice the forgiveness meditation my awareness compensates for biological brain injury. Letting go means now, that I am responsible where my thoughts go. Thoughts of self judgement lead to damaging physiological change.

I need large blocks of time alone to achieve releasing attachment to this. I achieve balance which leads to a n evaporation of resistance to action. Increased action leads to a higher level of focus on constructive recovery from the disasterous results of my past poorly-made decisions. This gets me out of my trap layer by layer. I can see a day when I live for life's sake rather than struggling to survive my own internal conflict. I see that I have no choice as my brain ages I can no longer maintain the same fight.

One of my lovers tries to hide his disappointment with the time not spent with him, which is sweet, but i think that he can see that our intimacy is better when we do spend time together.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

I need large blocks of time alone to achieve releasing attachment to this. I achieve balance which leads to a n evaporation of resistance to action. Increased action leads to a higher level of focus on constructive recovery from the disasterous results of my past poorly-made decisions. This gets me out of my trap layer by layer. I can see a day when I live for life's sake rather than struggling to survive my own internal conflict. I see that I have no choice as my brain ages I can no longer maintain the same fight.

One of my lovers tries to hide his disappointment with the time not spent with him, which is sweet, but i think that he can see that our intimacy is better when we do spend time together.

Do you need really need large blocks of time or is that just another demand that the 'ego' is making?

Ok....this is the teacher (voice) coming out here. When I read your statement I thought "I have no doubt that what Scotty describes about himself is going to take time- but why the hurry- and the sense of anxiety- why do I get the sense that there is a 'there' to get to?"

There is no place to get to. No perfection. Buddhists think of it thus: one is already enlightened, just now quite aware of that fact.

I suggest something entirely different.

Rather than large blocks of time. How about 10 minutes here, ten minutes there? It really does add up to something and keeps one in the flow- as it were.

This is how musician's learn their craft- and there is a hell of a lot of sense in it. The mind tends to loose focus after 12-15 minutes. I would work up to longer practice SLOWLY. Bit by bit. Working with your 'edges' but not going full out and challenging them. They will let you know what they are ready to be look at.

Forget about long blocks of time my brother. You are not some sorry shell that needs to retreaded or turned into something new- or so damaged that you neeed to take hammer or axe to your Self. The Light already shines within you.

Thinking that your are such a big project is just another thing to let go. That said- I have no doubt as to the depth of your feelings- and what you perceive to lie before you. But the way you express it sounds fearful. And arduous. Like you are a project to be built rather than body and flesh to be enlivened.

Look for the small, the subtle changes, as you practice.

Maitri (for that is what is sounds lilke you are practicing) is a gentle art. It can take one to deep places and old wounds and intense feelings. But focusing on the breath and the heart and seeing (in the mind's eye) all that gunk being pulled into the heart of compassion and then seeing the heart of compassion radiate ligtht to yourself and others on the out-breath....well....that's forgiveness.....or whatever you want to call it. It's the cycle of Life. In and Out. A circle.

It's a gentle process. A little here, a little there, so that it becomes a part of your life and second nature.

If you press too hard- the process will press back. And that just causes one more difficulty.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

I've been practicing a Buddhist meditation on forgiveness for several days now.


The self-judgement vibration is strong within me, easily activated by outside input or spontaneously. This causes a brain physiologc change which in turn cause body physiologic change and behaviour change. Most of these are damaging.

Forgiveness today has been afforded by my awareness of the integration of intellect with my body's physiology. I feel the changes physiologically. I feel empowered to overcome the fear that my mood disorder is progressive and ultimately fatal

As I practice the forgiveness meditation my awareness compensates for biological brain injury. Letting go means now, that I am responsible where my thoughts go. Thoughts of self judgement lead to damaging physiological change.

I need large blocks of time alone to achieve releasing attachment to this. I achieve balance which leads to a n evaporation of resistance to action. Increased action leads to a higher level of focus on constructive recovery from the disasterous results of my past poorly-made decisions. This gets me out of my trap layer by layer. I can see a day when I live for life's sake rather than struggling to survive my own internal conflict. I see that I have no choice as my brain ages I can no longer maintain the same fight.

Originally Posted by Daniel

Do you need really need large blocks of time or is that just another demand that the 'ego' is making?


If he feels he does, trust that he is probably correct.

The way in which I concur with Daniel is, if the meditation is only a few days old, it makes sense to habituate the brain to it gradually by starting with small time blocks. Only increase to large ones gradually so that the system is not overloaded with the work of transformation.

However, it is quite true that inner change takes time and quite some practice. Considering the amounts of time we spend not in meditation, reinforcing our old habitual thoughts - ones which may not be spiritually healthy for us - large blocks of time ARE needed for substantial change.

Daniel, with your experience as a singer, in meditation, and in yoga asana, you have a good understanding of energetics. If you hold a yoga asana for a while, more breaths than usual, longer than you are comfortable, the energy builds. It increases in intensity. To achieve radical change, intensity must be present. Time frame is one mode of generating intensity. Scotty's large blocks of time are very much valid.


I suggest something entirely different.

Rather than large blocks of time. How about 10 minutes here, ten minutes there? It really does add up to something and keeps one in the flow- as it were.

This is how musician's learn their craft- and there is a hell of a lot of sense in it. The mind tends to loose focus after 12-15 minutes. I would work up to longer practice SLOWLY. Bit by bit. Working with your 'edges' but not going full out and challenging them. They will let you know what they are ready to be look at.

And this is also a very good practice. It seems to me that large blocks of time amplify the intensity, whereas small chunks of time amplify the consistency, establishing the new habit.


Forget about long blocks of time my brother. You are not some sorry shell that needs to retreaded or turned into something new- or so damaged that you neeed to take hammer or axe to your Self. The Light already shines within you.

I took Scotty's post to mean that Light is exactly what he is inviting to circulate. Of course he's not a "sorry shell!!" The practice is about finding himself identified with that light, and that the sorry shell is simply an old habit of the mind.


Thinking that your are such a big project is just another thing to let go. That said- I have no doubt as to the depth of your feelings- and what you perceive to lie before you. But the way you express it sounds fearful. And arduous. Like you are a project to be built rather than body and flesh to be enlivened.

I did not get that impression at all. I read it as empowerment. A greater degree of emotional choice integrating with the brain chemistry, ultimately breaking the negative feedback loop and replacing it with one which is preferred. What could possibly be more empowered? The process itself is more fascinating than the goal.


Look for the small, the subtle changes, as you practice.

Maitri (for that is what is sounds lilke you are practicing) is a gentle art. It can take one to deep places and old wounds and intense feelings. But focusing on the breath and the heart and seeing (in the mind's eye) all that gunk being pulled into the heart of compassion and then seeing the heart of compassion radiate ligtht to yourself and others on the out-breath....well....that's forgiveness.....or whatever you want to call it. It's the cycle of Life. In and Out. A circle.




It's a gentle process. A little here, a little there, so that it becomes a part of your life and second nature.

I posit that long blocks of time are a great way to practice when we have the time and energy to devote to it. My own practice varies in length - I use longer and shorter practices for a series of weeks, then switch.

Daniel's suggestion of frequent short blocks will REALLY add up and amplify the consistency and the new habits.

Now, is this where Scotty gets to select one item from column A and one item from column B?

[scott snedeker]

Eclecticism seems to be a recurring theme for myself and apparently for you guys as well. The long blocks of time for meditation are not arduous but I do heed the warning of another demend by the ego. I don't fear that I am committing my self for a goals sake.

I waste a lot of time worrying so if i'm not actively doing something why not meditate? I combine a mixture of passive meditation (listening to a CD by Kornfield or Chopra) with active meditation providing my own imagery and thoughts to music.

The cognitive awareness is fanned by Kornfield's direction lately. There is a short term goal. If I am not where I want to be emotionally then I want to improve from where I am. Even slight improvements feel like mini nirvanas.

Places like "I would be so relieved if I don't wake" or "I'm a worthless fake" or "I'm fated to die from behaviour stemming out of Depression" are Not places I care to stay. Those places I need out of and quickly.

What's empowering is that I can with increasing facility, identify the trigger and the origin of these states, and use meditation to debunk both elements and let go.

My latest miniphany, as perviously mentioned, is my awareness, in particular my awareness of the intergration of intellect with physiology of the body. I think this is my "Vise-grips" in my tool box that turns the rusty nuts after everything else has slipped.

I'll admit that I am often impatient. I desire more creative focus and less reparative effort. And I think that I will be transitioning from repairing to creating more often. Sometimes they are the same focus. Sometimes there is simply too much s--t to shovel first before I can create and live for life and joy.

What's different lately is that I feel more empowered and hopeful rather than disempowered and trapped by my own thoughts that would drag me by a chain. I feel less vulnerable to them because I can acknowledge them without overwhelming fear of succumbing to them and trvialize them with new thought stretegies that get sharper with practice.

This I have little doubt is a well-timed next step from my previous strategy which was essential and defiftely not a waste of time, but was inadequate by itself at this time. I have faith that the next strategy will be perceived by me when needed also.

Right now I see myself as a Radical Faerie, learning to be a better stronger happier faerie... Meaning that I reject all standards of what any rules dictate or what anyone thinks I should be or do. It means being free to explore without curbing direction or desire. I don't need to be oppositional but I am free to be so If I feel inclined.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by scott snedeker

The cognitive awareness is fanned by Kornfield's direction lately. There is a short term goal. If I am not where I want to be emotionally then I want to improve from where I am. Even slight improvements feel like mini nirvanas.

We're working on the same skill right now! I've never heard of Konrfield (tho upon your rec, will check him out.) I've gleaned the idea for shifting emotions from the Emotional Hostage book.

Places like "I would be so relieved if I don't wake" or "I'm a worthless fake" or "I'm fated to die from behaviour stemming out of Depression" are Not places I care to stay. Those places I need out of and quickly.

Mine are different, but I definitely need out of them pronto!!

What's empowering is that I can with increasing facility, identify the trigger and the origin of these states, and use meditation to debunk both elements and let go.

Are you my long-lost twin?


My latest miniphany, as perviously mentioned, is my awareness, in particular my awareness of the intergration of intellect with physiology of the body. I think this is my "Vise-grips" in my tool box that turns the rusty nuts after everything else has slipped.

I'll admit that I am often impatient. I desire more creative focus and less reparative effort. And I think that I will be transitioning from repairing to creating more often. Sometimes they are the same focus. Sometimes there is simply too much s--t to shovel first before I can create and live for life and joy.

I spend a lot of time here, too. What we don't see, b/c we aren't looking at it (we're looking at the problems we're working on and the shift-techniques), is that the mere fact of working to heal, the very reparative effort is in itself, creative. It generates incredible positive energy. The mere fact that you are practicing uplifts everyone else who is in a process of their own. You don't have to be done. The mere process, even if you aren't yet in a more creatively realized phase, helps everyone else. The fact that you are practicing is enough.
Your practice has already greatly uplifted me. And you've hardly even started yet! That's how powerful even a little bit of effort is.



What's different lately is that I feel more empowered and hopeful rather than disempowered and trapped by my own thoughts that would drag me by a chain. I feel less vulnerable to them because I can acknowledge them without overwhelming fear of succumbing to them and trvialize them with new thought stretegies that get sharper with practice.
Me too. It's hard when dealing with a hard-wired biological trigger. But eventually, we can grasp even those and they start to shift.

As my teacher oft' repeats: "Don't follow your thoughts." Or it's variation, "Don't believe everything you think."

If repetitive negative thoughts do not shut up for me after some dialoguing with them, if they persist, I sometimes say, "Alright, Thoughts. . . have a nice trip, but I'm not getting on the train with you. If you get to Someplace New, send me a postcard."



This I have little doubt is a well-timed next step from my previous strategy which was essential and defiftely not a waste of time, but was inadequate by itself at this time. I have faith that the next strategy will be perceived by me when needed also.

I fully trust that this is the right development. As before, the mere fact that you are taking this journey is creative and it uplifts others along with you.

That's why earlier I said thank you for your practice.

[Daniel]

It's the teacher in me I suppose. You will do what you mean and need to do as you mean and need to do it: not every path is the same.

I once read an autobiography of a student of Gurdjieff, where the latter advised the student that, in order to get through the process he was involved in at the time, the student needed to not curb his consumption of alcohol, which was considerable.

This sounds like madness to us now. But the result was that this unorthodox means suited the student perfectly- and in time- the means changed and was let go of.

You have to do what you need to do in the way you have to do it, and only you know that.

Radical you declare youself to be, so Radical you Shall Be! (grin)