A Question About God and His Ways?

[AJLove]

Why is it that when it comes to God and sexuality everyone has a different story? Some ex-gays say God showed them the "straight" way. While some gays said God help them embrace their sexuality and helping them endure their faith. This is very confusing.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by AJLove

Why is it that when it comes to God and sexuality everyone has a different story? Some ex-gays say God showed them the "straight" way. While some gays said God help them embrace their sexuality and helping them endure their faith. This is very confusing.

It's confusing if we think there is one 'right' answer as a "one size fits all" approach to what is needed in our lives. But we are all different. Everyone's emotional, sexual, spiritual, psychological paths are different. We have different needs.

It becomes complex and confusing when we assume that what is right for us is going to always be the right solution for everyone else. Our task is to discern our individual right path, not to dictate someone else's. Neither should we seek someone else's answers as to what is right for us.

AJ. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay. Put it this way: what makes some straight people think it's "okay" for them to be straight? Maybe there is something wrong with heterosexuality. How would you prove there is not?

There is nothing wrong with you AJ sweetheart. There is NOTHING worng with being gay. Not One Thing.
But we have all been raised in a homophobic, no, let me put this more blunty, gay-hating society.

For folks whose minds and emotions absorbed that message thoroughly and completely, coming out is a psychological torment because they have had it implanted in them that there is something wrong with that. For someone who has suffered to that great a degree, I think it is possible that remaining single and celibate (perhaps viewing him/herself as ex-gay) may be their way of avoiding unbearable psychological pain.
It is not a value-laden 'choice' whether to accept or reject oneself --- it is a needs-based choice. What will lead you to the greatest wholeness, emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically, and spiritually?

Find what you need, AJ. Listen to the still, small voice. It really does know. No one outside can help you, but the still small voice can.
"Be still and know." Get still.

Searching out here will give you opinions and perspectives. But it will not give you certainty. That comes from within.

[tymejumper]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

There is nothing wrong with you AJ sweetheart. There is NOTHING worng with being gay. Not One Thing.
But we have all been raised in a homophobic, no, let me put this more blunty, gay-hating society.

I remember that I was SO afraid that I would go to hell if I admitted that I was gay. Then I realized that I was already in hell by living with my self hate and self doubt.

I know it is very hard at 16 to find out who you are and I am so glad that you have found us to help you and support you. You are still so dependant on your parents. There is nothing wrong with you for being gay. Not a thing. Those people who are trying to tell you that there is something wrong with it are the ones who are sick. You are going to have to come to acceptance yourself. We can support you but you have to feel in your heart of hearts that you are OK.

[Gregory_de_Bois]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

It's confusing if we think there is one 'right' answer as a "one size fits all" approach to what is needed in our lives. But we are all different. Everyone's emotional, sexual, spiritual, psychological paths are different. We have different needs.

It becomes complex and confusing when we assume that what is right for us is going to always be the right solution for everyone else. Our task is to discern our individual right path, not to dictate someone else's. Neither should we seek someone else's answers as to what is right for us.

AJ. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay. Put it this way: what makes some straight people think it's "okay" for them to be straight? Maybe there is something wrong with heterosexuality. How would you prove there is not?

There is nothing wrong with you AJ sweetheart. There is NOTHING worng with being gay. Not One Thing.
But we have all been raised in a homophobic, no, let me put this more blunty, gay-hating society.

For folks whose minds and emotions absorbed that message thoroughly and completely, coming out is a psychological torment because they have had it implanted in them that there is something wrong with that. For someone who has suffered to that great a degree, I think it is possible that remaining single and celibate (perhaps viewing him/herself as ex-gay) may be their way of avoiding unbearable psychological pain.
It is not a value-laden 'choice' whether to accept or reject oneself --- it is a needs-based choice. What will lead you to the greatest wholeness, emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically, and spiritually?

Find what you need, AJ. Listen to the still, small voice. It really does know. No one outside can help you, but the still small voice can.
"Be still and know." Get still.

Searching out here will give you opinions and perspectives. But it will not give you certainty. That comes from within.

Zerbie, you need to be canonized. This was beautiful. It so truthfully reflects how I came to accept who I was. "Be still." That is one of my favourite verses in the Bible. It continually reminds me that God is. That God is there. That God is Love. That God wants me to be who I am beyond where I am now. That God, and only God, can transform me, not make me straight, but transform me into a godly gay man (oh yay alliteration!), and that is what I want to be. I'm gay. I'm glad. And it's gonna stay that way, so long as I am still and continually listen to that still small voice.

Thanks for reminding me this, Zerb.

Namaste

[Pablo Rafael]

AJ,

For me there is no question in my mind that I am gay because it is God's will that I be that way. I spent so many years in denial and fighing against being gay. There was always a stumbling block in my relationship with God. I had thought that being gay was the stumbling block. Now I realize that my stubborn refusal to accept the way God created me was the stumbling block. I am closer to God than I have ever been.

How God deals with other people and what their spiritual walk is I can't say. I can only speak for myself.