Hello, I'm Rachel !

[royalartisan]

Hi everyone !

My name for all intents and purposes is Royal. RoyalArtisan.

But you can call me Rachel...whatever you like, I'll respond, as long as it's kind. XD

I'm not but 18 years old. Most people believe I am much older because of the way I hold myself and the way I speak. I am a prolific writer and aspiring actress. I prefer Musical Theatre, and right now I am particularly interested in Directing. I love the stage. In my spare time (if I ever have any), I'm usually spending time with Leslie, my girlfriend, whom I call Lushka. In turn, she calls me Mitya. These nicknames originated from the intensely passionate relationship between English novelist Vita Sackville-West and fellow writer Violet Keppel Trefusis. If we're not together, I'm usually writing poetry or blogging on MySpace. Because I am heavily involved in drama and theatre arts, I don't usually have much time to spare. But I believe that if something is important, you make the time.

I am the acting president of my chapter's Gay-Straight Alliance, and I believe strongly in promoting acceptance above tolerance. Tolerance has a negative connotation, whereas acceptance exudes a more positive, loving attitude, which I think is vital to the successful assimilation of LGBQTs into society as accepted individuals. I participate in the Day of Silence every year in order to help show my support for anti-bullying policies in both public and private schools across the nation.

I believe strongly in the power of words above violence.

I've been accepted to Richmond University in London, whose motto is "Unity in Diversity," and if you read my personal statement, you will understand who I am heart and soul. I'm hoping to be able to afford an international education. Also, my family is originally from England, and I've missed it there.

Out (or halfway out) actresses like Lily Tomlin, Ellen DeGeneres and Jodie Foster are just a few of my role models. Katharine Hepburn, Kate Mulgrew, Shirley Maclaine, Julie Andrews, Dame Maggie Smith and Dame Helen Mirren also inspire me to have confidence in my talents and never stop working to achieve my goals. I plan to major in Theatre Arts and go into Directing out of uni.

What else can I say about myself ?

I speak, read, write and sing French. I love foreign languages. Right now, I am teaching myself German. I can understand most Spanish and Italian....

I love theme parks and roller coasters ! Knott's Berry Farm and Six Flags are my scene. Disneyland is not my thing.

I LOVE swing, jump swing, big band, and classic Louis Prima and Louis Armstrong jazz music. Peggy Lee, Rosemary Clooney, The Andrews Sisters, Keely Smith, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Gene Kelly and Ella Fitzgerald are just a few of my favourite singers. Benny Goodman, Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller were geniuses ! Aside from that, I also listen to showtunes (Guys and Dolls, Victor/Victoria, Sound of Music, Sweet Charity, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Star!, Hello, Dolly!, Funny Girl, etc are great), indie rock, some classic rock, motown, disco and techno/trance. The only music I won't choose to add to my iTunes is hip hop and rap. Some R&B is pretty cool, such as Alicia Keyes. More respect for that woman, I cannot have ! Haha.


To me, sexuality is not a preference because the word preference connotates choice. But I also think that sexuality is not something to be packed and shipped in little boxes. Love and sex are not the same to me. While some people may choose to have sex with members of the same gender, I do not agree that all people who love members of their same gender choose that love for themselves. For me, I am in love with a wonderful young woman and so I think that puts me in a particular orientation if I'm even going to apply one. Lesbian, queer, gay. These labels may seem ridiculous to some, but I think that they are a necessary evil because people need words. They need something to help wrap their minds around things they can't or don't want to understand. So call me queer, call me gay, call me a lesbian. It doesn't hurt or frighten me. My sexual orientation is a non-issue in my life and that's the way I believe it should be for everyone.

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind, therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."-William Shakespeare

[Zerbie]

Welcome, Rachel/Mitya (or should that be Katharyn?).


Thanks for the wonderful introduction. You really do sound like an 'old soul' in many, many ways. I'm happy you came by and said hello - your introduction just made me grin.

Your interests/activities remind of myself. Passionate for words and languages, I originally intended to be a writer (short stories, poetry, novels) but then found my way into musical theater (never got the fever for stage direction, tho - no thank you!), and from MT into opera. Thus I wound up a classical singer/voice teacher -- and I haven't written a poem in 2 years. Hmmm. . . . Anyway, this was supposed to be your introductory threads so I'll try to stop hijacking it now.

You have excellent taste in theater and performers. I see you go for the quality stuff, not the junk.

I hope you will make time to visit with us often - it's been great 'meeting' you and I for one certainly hope you will stick around.

Great to have you!

A bientot,

Zerbie

[Gennee]

Welcome to Soulforce, Rachel. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I enjoy the theater and jazz music. You are very mature beyond your years and I wish you all the success at university.

Gennee

[BruceChris]

Welcome to our forums, Rachel. I don't know if I can *accept* you though; it would feel so much better to Celebrate you! You have a way with words, you write very passionately. Somehow, I think that you are going to enjoy life very much.

Namaste', Bruce Chris

[royalartisan]

Thank you to everyone for such a warm welcome--no, such a warm celebration !

It is much appreciated.

What else is there to say...
I love my family...my coming out process has been relatively disenchanting in many ways. It's not as exciting as what you see in pictures at the cinema....It's not much of an issue at all in my family anymore, and it wasn't all that dramatic when it first happened, either. My mother doesn't "approve" but she and I have always been pretty close and so she's very loving about this whole "my daughter is gay" deal. She only wants the best for me. You know how parents are. We have had our falling outs, but we remain close as ever. She said she always thought I was gay because I had an "unnatural fascination" with Captain Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager when I was little. Ahaha. She was off on that one. I saw Janeway as more of a maternal figure. But I do have a thing for redheads. :P

My dad, on the other hand, believes I'm too young to know for sure. He says that he's not entirely convinced I'm gay....I'm not quite certain how to respond other than to laugh as loudly as possible at that comment. Silly. But he loves me still even though he doesn't think it's the way I should be. He believes it's a choice and if I made that choice, it was premature. That's fine by me if he chooses to be ignorant, as long as he stays out of my personal life.

My sister couldn't really care less one way or the other...

And my friends don't have a problem with me...

So I've been blessed with regard to the transition from the closet to the world. If you know me, I've probably made a joke in passing about my sexuality or mentioned my girlfriend....subtlety is a big part of my sense of humour. It's just not something that should be taken too seriously.

One thing that puzzles me is all these people who think they have a right to an opinion about my life in general, let alone my personal relationships. Ahaahah. It never ceases to amaze !

I think that one thing we have to realise is that many, if not most of the people who disapprove as heartily as they do are members of a very strict moralist generation. The baby boomers and everyone who came before them....very very conservative...


Hmm..I read authors like Albert Camus (L'etranger), Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho), Aldous Huxley (Brave New World, The Island), Flannery O'Connor (A Good Man is Hard to Find, Wise Blood, Everything That Rises Must Converge), Isaac Asimov (Nightfall, Foundation series), Stephen King (Needful Things, The Tommyknockers, Dreamcatcher), Laurell K. Hamilton (Anita Blake series), Anne Rice (Vampire Chronicles, Blood Canticle), Christie Golden (Star Trek Voyager: Homecoming), etc.

[royalartisan]

OH !

I am a Christian...nondenominational, I suppose. I don't attend church anymore, probably because I have never really had much success in that realm. I've encountered such hypocritical people in the church....and so much corruption, that I have wandered away from it. I still believe in Gd, however, and I have a personal faith in Him/it, whatever it may be, alien or divine presence. I know there is something out there greater than myself that keeps this crazy bowl stirring.

And I've got to add that....some of my favourite plays (some of which have been made into awesome films) are The Children's Hour (by Lillian Hellman)--great film version in 1961 which I own with Shirley Maclaine as Martha Dobie (makes me cry everytime)..Lettice and Lovage (written for Maggie Smith and starring Maggie Smith by Peter Shaffer who wrote Amadeus and Equus), The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (good book, good play, great film with Maggie Smith in 1969--beat out Barb and Hello, Dolly! that year for best film)....


Now and then, I do video montages..here's one for The Children's Hour..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLQIqo_eV1o

and another, with some different footage and a different song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsUt1lARlxU

[Vanessa White]

Rachel:

How did you find us here?? You will fit in so well around here, because you are knowledgable, funny, ambitious, much like many of us here. ANd, musical, like many others here as well.....

I absolutely, wholeheartedly agree about the language of "tolerance" vs. acceptance or embracing understanding about LGBT identity. I never want to be tolerated, nor do I ever want to tolerate myself. I do believe, at least my experience has been similar, that I have not encountered a lot of rejection from those personally in my life about being a lesbian. I think in part, that it is because I so fully embrace my identity within myself, others really get deflated in trying to demonize it in some way.

Studying in London sounds exciting, and a way to be back to your roots. Good luck with being able to study there.

Keep posting, so great to have you with us!!!

BTW, when I read your initial intro post, your words DEFINITELY reminded me of our beloved Zerbie!! Peace, Vanessa

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by royalartisan

OH !


And I've got to add that....some of my favourite plays (some of which have been made into awesome films) are The Children's Hour (by Lillian Hellman)--great film version in 1961 which I own with Shirley Maclaine as Martha Dobie (makes me cry everytime)..


Omigosh, girl!! I happened upon that film on TV when I was about 11 or 12, watching in fascinated, hold-yer-breath horror, with the feeling that I was stepping onto forbidden territory, frightened that my mom might come home in which case I would have to turn it off and ---- oh my, holy run-on sentence, Batgirl.

Short version: that movie nearly traumatized me. I wasn't sure what my sexuality was, but I was sure terrified wondering if that was what life would be like.
Saw it on TV again a couple years ago and my heart just ached and ached at all the homophobia, external and internal, that story expresses. Sigh sigh sigh.

Lettice and Lovage (written for Maggie Smith and starring Maggie Smith

Wonderful! Brilliant. Oh my, hadn't thought of that show in years! I actually got a chance to play Lettice when I was a senior in high school --- acting teacher chose it as a vehicle for me: what a compliment. That was also my introduction to Maggie Smith. She's brilliant.


by Peter Shaffer who wrote Amadeus and Equus), The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (good book, good play, great film with Maggie Smith in 1969--beat out Barb and Hello, Dolly! that year for best film)....

This third one I don't know. Sounds interesting.

]

Apparently I shouldn't have put all my text in blue inside the quote box b/c now the website thinks I haven't said anything. This should make it happy.

[royalartisan]

That is amazing, Zerbie !!!! I played Lettice a few weeks ago ! My friend Annette played Lotte...it was AWESOME and everyone loved us ! I was so honoured to perform in that role....

"That is not your forte, Miss Schoen, 'thinking things up'! At the moment you exude a certain gray integrity, please do not try to contaminate it with colour!"

And thank you, Vanessa, you are most kind ! I'm very similar...people find themselves deflating like popped balloons when they try to say anything truly degenerating about me. I'm just a strong presence overall, but I'm not what you'd consider a stereotypical lesbian. I'm just me, you know ? I don't identify with the masculine or feminine stereotypes. I wear what I like and what I like varies from time to time. I don't constantly throw my sexuality in peoples' faces because I don't feel that it's necessary. I'm usually quite private about my personal life until someone takes the time to ask me. I don't expect to be given any special treatment because I'm in a minority...I do my best and I expect that my hardwork is recognised and appreciated by the people I work with and for, in every aspect of my life.

Anything more or less is just asking for trouble.

I just want people to see that my life is just as crazy, stressful, and full of blessings as anyone else's, right ? Because it is. I have fun just like anyone else, and like anyone else, I'm just trying to do my best to enjoy everything that life has to offer, including great friendships, a fabulous relationship, and a career that suits my talents.

I discovered The Children's Hour last summer on holiday in San Francisco...was watching The Celluloid Closet and saw the clip with Shirley and fell in love with the story, as mortifying as it was to watch that hanging scene. The play is slightly different. Instead of hanging herself, Martha leaves the stage and shoots herself. And the apology comes after the suicide in the play, unlike the film. Shirley breaks my heart every time....

Somehow, I just..love that story...it really moves me.


Theatre is where I feel most at home..when I'm on a stage and moving people in the same way some of my favourite actresses move me. To inspire feeling in another individual is a gift...and the rewards are incredibly exalting.

[royalartisan]

Well, it's been an arduous week...but we move on !

[alphacatone]

Originally Posted by royalartisan

I think that one thing we have to realise is that many, if not most of the people who disapprove as heartily as they do are members of a very strict moralist generation. The baby boomers and everyone who came before them....very very conservative...

Don't write all of us old folks off. There are many boomers who are not bigots or homophobes. That said, however, it will probably take the dying off of the boomer generation before the UMC changes its stance. Reason? All the retired folks are the ones who attend Annual Conference. If the UMC would make it a policy to have Annual Conference only take up a 2-day weekend, I believe we would see a rapid shift in attitude, as people who work would be able to attend.

Darren

[royalartisan]

I'm sorry, I never meant to "write" anyone off ! I did say:

many, if not most

To be specific, it's the DoD and DoJ as a whole, not any one branch. Not just the Marines, but the Armed Forces in general.

But I see your point, and it's a great one, so thank you for your input !

[antiochian]

Hello, very nice to meet you! Ich spreche auch Deutsch, aber nicht so gut...

[royalartisan]

Hey there ! I understood that !

I think...one of my favourite words is sehr. Which I think belongs after nicht in that sentence.

Iche spreche auch Deutsch, aber nicht sehr gut ?

Where's Linda !?!?

Gerlinde, help !

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by royalartisan

Hey there ! I understood that !

I think...one of my favourite words is sehr. Which I think belongs after nicht in that sentence.

Iche spreche auch Deutsch, aber nicht sehr gut ?
!

Ja, richtig.

[royalartisan]

YAY ! I'm not a total dead loss at this !!

[royalartisan]

Graduation Is 12 June And You Are All Invited !!!

[royalartisan]

Hey all !!

Feels great to be out of high school !!


I HAVE NEWS FOR EVERYONE !

1. The Army discharged me. They knew that I'm gay. But that's not the reason they let me go.

2. PaintedBlind began its ReachOUT campaign...and we need your help ! Please go to: http://www.freewebs.com/paintedblind to learn more and volunteer !

3. I met someone amazing. Her name is Araneth...she saved my life, almost literally...I got REALLY, REALLY sick and she's training to be a nurse and she refused to let me go home. I went into a 104 degree fever and she helped me break it. She let me stay with her til I felt better. Wow. That kind of care takes trust. So we have a great trust. And I'm loving every single moment we spend together.

4. I got a swanky tattoo...
--means "equal but opposite" and I apologise for the poor quality...I'll use my Dad's awesome super kickass camera next time.