Any Other Transgendered Folk Here?

[BishopIoan]

I am FTM transgendered as is my spouse. I don't think my age will permit hormone therapy or extensive surgeries, but I assure you I am male, at least inside.

Some people think that since we are both FTM, we are really lesbians. Uh, no, we are (pardon if this offends, but I honestly don't know another term for it) "trannyfags".My spouse is more butch, but he considers me his "butch queen".

So many people seem to think that the transgendered want to be the opposite sex and so they identify as the sex they want to be. All I can say is that from a very young age, my female body felt "wrong".

I even had a bishop who is very out as a gay man tell me I needed to quit denying that I was a lesbian and accept it. Uh, no....I'm an FTM transgender.

So, any other transgendered folk here?

[Gennee]

Hi BishopIoan. I am a MTF transgender and crossdresser. I have no desire to transition or take hormones but I am a transgender woman. I've never felt that I was in the wrong body. I enjoy the feminine side of me and express it much of the time. I love to wear women's clothing because they are so comfortable.

I discovered my own transgender identity only three years ago. I have felt different for a long time but never knew why. I never tied gender in to the mix. Now I am very happy and content. One joy that I have is that my spouse and son are accepting of my dressing.

Gennee

[BenL]

Hi,

I'm married to an FTM who has transitioned. We've been together 35 years. We consider ourselves a gay male couple.

He's not stealth. He does a lot for the trans community locally. He has spoken at churches and conferences. He was on a panel for local PFLAG members to help them get up to speed on trans issues. He talks to third-year medical students during their ob/gyn rotation about the possibility of having trans clients and what some of their medical issues might be. He and I did a workshop at FORGE in Milwaukee last year called: "FTMS who are attracted to men and the men who love them."

I'm very proud of him.

[pnggrad79]

What I think is more heart wrenching is the fact that trans people have taken on such a challenge to be authentic to who they feel they are. I have a dear friend who more than anything else wants to become a man. Presently she is a lesbian with a lesbian lover, but she dresses and speaks like a man. She binds her breasts and cuts her hair in a buzz cut. She wears men's clothing. Her wife put the stop to her transition and told her that if she wanted to be with a man, she would be. She said that she liked being with a woman and didn't want her wife to become a husband. So my friend is having to go to therapy to reconcile this issue. I have talked to her several times and I understand the pain she is going through.

Gennee , Bishop, and BenL, I admire people like you who have the courage to be who you are and not what everyone prescribes for you. It takes courage and guts to brave the comments and snide remarks. I wish the best for all of you.

[tymejumper]

Originally Posted by BishopIoan

I am FTM transgendered as is my spouse. I don't think my age will permit hormone therapy or extensive surgeries, but I assure you I am male, at least inside.

Some people think that since we are both FTM, we are really lesbians.

I am not TG but my ex-husband is. He was MTF and as an older person, he also did not chose to do hormones. We did talk about it frequently, and it was always accepted by me. As myself a lesbian, I guess we were a lesbian couple and looked like a traditional hetero couple. Shame on your gay bishop/pastor, he should know better than to tell anyone whom they are inside or out! If you are not lesbian, you are not. Its up to you to define who you are and are comfortable with. I would just ignor people whom make stupid comments about you and your partner.

[labguy22]

Oh how people would like to fit us into a box with large letters on the front; something easy for them to read. I don't know if it's just that people don't take the time to try and understand, or if there is some intolerance poking it's nasty little face around. Although as part of the LGBT community we preach acceptance of all, we sometimes fall short.
My husband and I have recently been asked " so which one is the Mrs." at which we reply, " We're both the Misters". It's an innocent enough question and I guess people are asking based only on their experience in heterosexual male/female relationships.

[Gennee]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

What I think is more heart wrenching is the fact that trans people have taken on such a challenge to be authentic to who they feel they are. I have a dear friend who more than anything else wants to become a man. Presently she is a lesbian with a lesbian lover, but she dresses and speaks like a man. She binds her breasts and cuts her hair in a buzz cut. She wears men's clothing. Her wife put the stop to her transition and told her that if she wanted to be with a man, she would be. She said that she liked being with a woman and didn't want her wife to become a husband. So my friend is having to go to therapy to reconcile this issue. I have talked to her several times and I understand the pain she is going through.

Gennee , Bishop, and BenL, I admire people like you who have the courage to be who you are and not what everyone prescribes for you. It takes courage and guts to brave the comments and snide remarks. I wish the best for all of you.

Thank you for the kind words. I pray that your friend can resolve her issues. It must really be tough for her emotionally and spiritually.

Gennee

[tymejumper]

Originally Posted by labguy22

.
My husband and I have recently been asked " so which one is the Mrs." at which we reply, " We're both the Misters". It's an innocent enough question

I guess I am just cynical, but it sounds like that person was making a covert attempt at poking fun at you. To ask "which is the Mrs.", is very sexist and rude. Although, it may just be ignorance. i invited y Aunt to my wedding and she said "I was surprised when I saw Ellie and she was not masculine". She actually thought that all gay relationships had a top and bottom. Ellie may be the Butch, but I have to kill the spiders in the house!

[matthewspeed]

Originally Posted by tymejumper

Ellie may be the Butch, but I have to kill the spiders in the house!

I understand Ellies situation. I won't go near a spider!!

[Pablo Rafael]

Originally Posted by tymejumper

Ellie may be the Butch, but I have to kill the spiders in the house!

Originally Posted by matthewspeed

I understand Ellies situation. I won't go near a spider!!

Remember, spiders are our friends!
They get rid of pesky flying insects like mosquitos and flies.
Why would anyone want to KILL one? We can all live together happily in peace.

[matthewspeed]

Originally Posted by Pablo Rafael

Remember, spiders are our friends!
They get rid of pesky flying insects like mosquitos and flies.
Why would anyone want to KILL one? We can all live together happily in peace.

My Dear Pablo,

I do believe in peace, and Soulforce is all about anti-violence. I hope I don't get kicked off of Soulforce for this, but my anti-violence stops with spiders. I am a self proclaimed "spider murderer!" Guilty as charged!!!!

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by Pablo Rafael

Remember, spiders are our friends!
They get rid of pesky flying insects like mosquitos and flies.
Why would anyone want to KILL one? We can all live together happily in peace.

I am TERRIFIED of spiders. I scream like hell when I see one.

That said, I always try to avoid killing them. Easy enough, since I'm always on the other side of the room.

A few days ago a spider started descending from the ceiling of the train towards my face as hubby & I rode across the UK. I screamed, alerting the crowded first class wagon to the fact that a spider was on board. My husband, responding to my screams to 'get it away from me,' began whacking at the spider with a lunch menu. I, huddled on the far seat in a ball, admonished him, "But don't kill her. Put her on the floor, gently."

[YukiChoe]

I am a pre-op transsexual female. I have been out before in my teens but unfortunately got shoved back in the closet. However, I had been out for the past two and a half years and plan to stay that way.

I too endured a lot of misguided people, especially religious ones asking me why I choose to be a girl when I did not. Seriously... do any of us choose to be in a situation where we are branded almost outcasts in society?....

The situation in South East Asia is not helping with the lack of information concerning people like us. And it affects is trans people too because most of the "self-appointed" doctors here are really just milking a profit by selling us and injecting us with as much hormones as possible, which without balance is detrimental to trans people's health. And people are educated into the frame of thinking that we do not exist, that we are just fakes.

I have nothing against spiders. But I really hate cockroaches.

[livewithsoulandfreedom]

Originally Posted by YukiChoe

I am a pre-op transsexual female. I have been out before in my teens but unfortunately got shoved back in the closet. However, I had been out for the past two and a half years and plan to stay that way.

I too endured a lot of misguided people, especially religious ones asking me why I choose to be a girl when I did not. Seriously... do any of us choose to be in a situation where we are branded almost outcasts in society?....

The situation in South East Asia is not helping with the lack of information concerning people like us. And it affects is trans people too because most of the "self-appointed" doctors here are really just milking a profit by selling us and injecting us with as much hormones as possible, which without balance is detrimental to trans people's health. And people are educated into the frame of thinking that we do not exist, that we are just fakes.

I have nothing against spiders. But I really hate cockroaches.

I totally understand and agree with everything you just wrote there (even the cockroach thing ). I live in asia too, in malaysia actually.... awesome... but I'm from the UK... anyhow yeah...

I'm an FTM transsexual... not going through hormones... too young... my parents don't know yet either... so yeah...

The thing I hate most about being trans are the ridiculously stupid questions that people ask us... seriously what's up with that?

[RaymondCharlesWoollcombe]

I'm an FTM
Not going through any treatment at the moment i'm only 16 so its not really a good idea.
My mum knows but doesnt really believe me as i am so young to be having feelings like this, But she said she would support me if i ever did get the whole sex change done. So i guess thats okay.

Peace and Love
Raymond.....

[Kelli Busey]

It is so good to be with our own. I am a transgender woman. I have been on hormones about 18 months. I am quickly seeing the time when I could have SSR disapear in the rear view, yep there it go's! Would adore to have one but "it" aint't everything. HRT has helped. When I enter a room strangers reconize me a female, its a cumulation of how I feel about myself and just my presentation. My boyfriend believes in me, he sees me for who I am. Its great to hear from everyone!

[BruceChris]

Life was a lot more primitive then, and so were most people's attitudes. This was less than 20 years post-Christine Jorgensen, and most people simply had no concept of trans gender. Your quality of life was directly related to how well you passed, or failed to. There was always this problem of bathrooms, and the police, lurking in the background.

You had to find a Program, or a Doctor to work with, and you had to meet their (often) stereotyped expectations. (Among the Trans Girls I knew back then, the expected questions, and the expected answers were widely shared) In the Minnesota area, this meant the University of Minnesota's Program in Human Sexuality, or PHS, under Dr. Sharon Satterfield. You became one of Sharon's Girls. Or you did not.

You had to live as the desired gender for one year before you were considered for hormones. You had to get innumerable letters from countless psychiatrists. You had to find a surgeon, and some way to pay for it.

You had to carry a letter from a doctor explaining that you were in their program, in case someone stopped you, and demanded to know why you were presenting as the "wrong" gender. There was always the threat of violence, usually from some guy or guys who were insecure in their manhood.

Now I know that things are still this bad or worse in some places, but these days in the Twin Cities area, and many other places in the country and in the world they are oh so much better. If you are one of these *special* people, you might consider moving here. We have a large, and often wonderful trans community here.

Now I realize as I write this that some of you are probably going to trot out your own personal horror story, and I would recommend doing just that For another thread.

Edit: Back then, to the gay community, we recognized TS, TV, and RG. Transsexual, Transvestite, and of course, Real Girl. Of course TS meant that you were planning on surgery. We didn't really recognize the concept of Trans Gender back then.

I guess I'm just reminescing

Peace, and Love, much Love, for our trans community. Bruce Chris

[Sere-Kun]

I'm MTF but have explored the opportunities of just becoming an androgyne. I sometimes feel like a mixture of both, but definitely identify on the female side of the binary. It can be frustrating. I'm probably one of the most laid back and lax transsexuals you'll ever meet. I don't mind it if someone calls me 'he' or 'she.' But what I do care about are the misunderstandings people get when they see my masculine face and think I'm a 25 year old pervert who is an escapee from Alcatraz... I'd much rather have the cute, adorable, and innocent face of a little girl...

[Gennee]

I'm a MTF crossdresser. I have been dressed a lot this week and that I prefer to dress and live (even if part-time) as a woman. It's not that I have rejected my masculine side but I prefer wearing women's clothing. my spouse is accepting of me though I overly thrilled about it. My son is okay with me dressing. I pass pretty well. Today, an employee at McDonald's helped me with my tray as I was struggling with my bag. she called me "Ma'am".

Gennee

[BishopIoan]

Originally Posted by BruceChris

Life was a lot more primitive then, and so were most people's attitudes. This was less than 20 years post-Christine Jorgensen, and most people simply had no concept of trans gender. Your quality of life was directly related to how well you passed, or failed to. There was always this problem of bathrooms, and the police, lurking in the background.

You had to find a Program, or a Doctor to work with, and you had to meet their (often) stereotyped expectations. (Among the Trans Girls I knew back then, the expected questions, and the expected answers were widely shared) In the Minnesota area, this meant the University of Minnesota's Program in Human Sexuality, or PHS, under Dr. Sharon Satterfield. You became one of Sharon's Girls. Or you did not.

You had to live as the desired gender for one year before you were considered for hormones. You had to get innumerable letters from countless psychiatrists. You had to find a surgeon, and some way to pay for it.

You had to carry a letter from a doctor explaining that you were in their program, in case someone stopped you, and demanded to know why you were presenting as the "wrong" gender. There was always the threat of violence, usually from some guy or guys who were insecure in their manhood.

Now I know that things are still this bad or worse in some places, but these days in the Twin Cities area, and many other places in the country and in the world they are oh so much better. If you are one of these *special* people, you might consider moving here. We have a large, and often wonderful trans community here.

Now I realize as I write this that some of you are probably going to trot out your own personal horror story, and I would recommend doing just that For another thread.

Edit: Back then, to the gay community, we recognized TS, TV, and RG. Transsexual, Transvestite, and of course, Real Girl. Of course TS meant that you were planning on surgery. We didn't really recognize the concept of Trans Gender back then.

I guess I'm just reminescing

Peace, and Love, much Love, for our trans community. Bruce Chris

Hey, Bruce Chris! I remember how it was back in the 70s, if you were transgendered and yes, things have greatly improved. Back then, a transgendered person was perceived to be a freak. I mean I nearly cried one night when they had "The Christine Jorgensen Story" on TV BTW, I really admire her because she had the moxie to follow what she believed was right and to fully become the woman she felt she was inside). My mum freaked out when I mentioned a sex change to her around 1972. I didn't say anything more about it until 2004 when I told her that I was planning to undergo gender reassignment. To my complete shock she said (now remember, this was an 87 year-old woman at the time), "You know, a lot of things you did when little, I can now see that you were probably transsexual. We didn't know what that was back then, but I think that is what was going on. And over the years, I've seen and read things on being transsexual and I think that, given all the stuff a person has to go through to change gender, if a person wants to do that, I say ;go for it'. She also attended our wedding in Windsor, Ontario last fall. She has since passed away, but I am so happy that she was so supportive in her last years. (Once she told her counsellor: "I feel that I have at best only three or four years left and when I die, I want my daughter to be happy." That meant the world to me.

I remember all the weird rules about having to wear so many items of clothing of the sex you were perceived to be or you could get in deep trouble (tho you often did, even if you did wear the requisite items).

For a number of years, I identified as lesbian because there was virtually no gender reassignment available for FTMs, thinking that is what I might be. However, it never felt right to me. You are right--in the 70s there was no concept of Transgender.

During my years in monastic life, I refused to call myself a nun and called myself a "monk" or a monastic. I also got to a point where I refused to wear the apostolnik ( a headcovering worn by Orthodox nuns) but would wear only the cap worn by monks or the more formal headdress worn in Church. In time, people quit saying anything when they saw I wasn't going to change to make them happy. I still didn't have much idea of transgender, at least for women.

Then, in 2001, during a stint of homelessness, I spoke to a very dear MTF transgendered lady I met in the shelter where I was staying. After a long conversation, she said, "I know what our problem is. I'm a queen and you're a king." Bless her heart for talking with me and saying what I wanted to say but never could before. Since then, I have identified as FTM transgendered and will continue to do so.

Yes, things seem to be slowly but surely getting better. My spouse and I are moving to Arizona next year so that he can attend automotive technology school, but after he finishes his schooling, we shall move to Canada as it is one place I am certain that our married status will not be taken away at the whim of homophobic voters. That will probably change at some point in the future, but we were so impressed by the wonderful way we were treated when getting our marriage license that we decided that Canada was the place to go.

I'm glad that I am still alive to see how much better TG people have it now compared to the 70s.