I must speak up

[Gennee]

I posted in the past about the organization I volunteer with to create alternative media. I have become more vocal about LGBT issues and have commented on them in op-ed pages and other sources.

Last night I learned that someone I had corresponded with in the past on another forum committed suicide. I corresponded with Barbara's best friend and now we are friends. I may have mentioned that two young lesbians are struggling because of the stuff heaped on them by others.

A year ago, I may have written to a op-ed page stating my opinion. It has come now that I must speak out. I'm not going to let some homophobe and transphobe trash us and me speaking up. This is quite a change for me because I am a quiet and reserved person. With all the wonderful things (and not so wonderful things) happening across the land, I need to really educate myself and be armed and ready to answer the critics.

I don't consider myself an activist but wrongs need to be corrected.

Gennee

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by Gennee

I don't consider myself an activist but wrongs need to be corrected.

Gennee

Gennee,

You may not consider yourself to be an activist now, but it sure seems that's the direction you're headed in.

Rick

[Emproph]

Originally Posted by Gennee

A year ago, I may have written to a op-ed page stating my opinion. It has come now that I must speak out. I'm not going to let some homophobe and transphobe trash us and me speaking up. This is quite a change for me because I am a quiet and reserved person. With all the wonderful things (and not so wonderful things) happening across the land, I need to really educate myself and be armed and ready to answer the critics.

I don't consider myself an activist but wrongs need to be corrected.

Gennee

I know what you mean by “quite and reserved” and “don’t consider yourself an activist.” But I can tell you this much, in the past four years or so, I learned every argument there is, AND HOW TO REFUTE THEM - which gives me great confidence.

I’m talking mostly about writing online of course. I get nervous enough just driving, or grocery shopping, let alone publicly ‘debating’ with someone.

But I think that for someone who is usually quiet and reserved (or at least feels that way) to feel confident in speaking up, and finding a way of discussing the issues without allowing it to even turn into a “debate,” is the goal.

And that requires being emotionally centered - ie; emotionally in control.

That’s why I love arguing online. I always have the time to get over the initial anger, digest it, and then mentally step back and respond in a way that addresses the REAL issue - hopefully in a way that the person (or audience) I'm communicating with will more likely respond to.

I think my point is that there’s definitely a way to maximize your ability to do this in whatever setting. It's challenging no doubt for a shy person, but possible, and learnable, none the less.

I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for, and I’m not always around, but if I can be of any help, please let me know. And I know that many others around here could help with dealing with any specific challenges you may wish to express.

Along the Soulforce “non-violent” ideology, it seems to me that it’s not so much the “issue” that’s at issue, but the approach to it. With the ultimate goal of coming to a point of 'agreeing to disagree.'

If you can win that game, you automatically win the "get inside their head" game.
--
Also, I often hang out at the Vigilance blog (teachthefacts.org). The Montgomery County Council of Maryland Council recently passed a measure banning discrimination on the basis of "gender identity" (along with race, religion, handicap, etc.), but the anti-gays are all in a hoopla about it, and lying every which way from Sunday to stop it.

Note, it is potentially a toxic environment, there are a handful who continue to denigrate LGBT persons to no end, but there are many regulars, like me, who continue to refute their lies and slander on a continual basis, and to that extent, it’s a quite supportive environment.

There are at least three openly transgender persons who post there, often if not always with intense insight - factual AND personal.

http://teachthefacts.org/vigilance.html
--
P.S. I am also very sorry to hear about your correspondence-acquaintance who killed themselves. Again, If there’s anything I can do to help you with feeling more comfortable speaking out, please let me know.

-Patrick

[Ozgeorge]

Originally Posted by Gennee

Last night I learned that someone I had corresponded with in the past on another forum committed suicide.

"Hristos anesti ek nekron,
Thanato thanaton patisas,
Kai tis en tis mnimasi zoi harisamenos."

"Christ is Risen from the dead,
By death, He tramples down death,
And to those in the graves He is granting Life."

[prairielesbian]

I am very sorry to hear about your friend. My heart goes out to you and for the family.

And for being an advocate Gee, ...we all are in some aspect.

I have this inner "being" that is struggling with a career and well, I may find myself going back to get my Doctorate in Psychology to mainly focus on gay/lesbians issues.

With GLBT communities - I feel a big movement is on it's way when it comes to our rights, - and yes, this will bring on those that can counsel. I love listening to people and I love giving genuine honest answers.

I have to stop forcing myself to "find" my field/career and focus on what I can do now. My niche will unfold - even if it's a year or two down the road. I have to let go, and let God use me by what talents I have.

I am in the process of writing a book and whose to know it may be a book that turns into a gay/lesbian study. Again, being an advocate to help educate.

There's a movement on it's way...........

Last night I learned that someone I had corresponded with in the past on another forum committed suicide. I corresponded with Barbara's best friend and now we are friends. I may have mentioned that two young lesbians are struggling because of the stuff heaped on them by others.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by Gennee

I

I don't consider myself an activist but wrongs need to be corrected.

Gennee

But you are taking action. That's what matters.

This is also something I've been ruminating on recently. The irony of being a quiet, shy activist. I was at a training a couple months ago where I was eager to get word to as many contacts as possible about the advocacy project I'm working on, and to make contact and find people to collaborate. So I ran all over at every break, introducing myself to everyone, asking for business cards, and emails, etc. On the second day I was having more of a sit down chat with a fellow trainee and I mentioned how hard certain things are for me because I'm so shy. He said: "You're SHY?!?!?!"


Yep.

Ain't that odd? Shy activists. But I also think that's good. We need all types. I don't intend ever to become un-shy, only to be more effective when I address what needs to be addressed.

If we use stepping stones, we can progress in our communication skills and self-regulatory skills until we can take on larger and larger projects, which are progressively further 'out there' in terms of visibility and immediacy. Working on local campaigns and community organizing has been incredibly empowering for me. I have developed a level of confidence I don't think I really knew existed before. It is still getting better. If we commit to doing something and we follow through, it changes us. That's key.

[Alecto]

See....I don't find it surprising at all that there's a lot of shy activists. It's like...here's a bunch of people..almost all of us, shy or not, would be just as happy to go on and live our happy lives. Some people are born to make waves, and that's awesome, but a whole lot more of us I feel just get to a point where we can't NOT do anything anymore. Exactly like you said, Gennee, that you must speak out. It comes to a point where you just can't stand by and pretend it's not that bad anymore. And maybe it was a specific incident, or a growing sense of unease, or some other path, but I"m not surprised in the least that otherwise shy people are stepping up and doing very un-shy things.

[Gennee]

Originally Posted by Emproph

I know what you mean by “quite and reserved” and “don’t consider yourself an activist.” But I can tell you this much, in the past four years or so, I learned every argument there is, AND HOW TO REFUTE THEM - which gives me great confidence.

I’m talking mostly about writing online of course. I get nervous enough just driving, or grocery shopping, let alone publicly ‘debating’ with someone.

But I think that for someone who is usually quiet and reserved (or at least feels that way) to feel confident in speaking up, and finding a way of discussing the issues without allowing it to even turn into a “debate,” is the goal.

And that requires being emotionally centered - ie; emotionally in control.

That’s why I love arguing online. I always have the time to get over the initial anger, digest it, and then mentally step back and respond in a way that addresses the REAL issue - hopefully in a way that the person (or audience) I'm communicating with will more likely respond to.

I think my point is that there’s definitely a way to maximize your ability to do this in whatever setting. It's challenging no doubt for a shy person, but possible, and learnable, none the less.

I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for, and I’m not always around, but if I can be of any help, please let me know. And I know that many others around here could help with dealing with any specific challenges you may wish to express.

Along the Soulforce “non-violent” ideology, it seems to me that it’s not so much the “issue” that’s at issue, but the approach to it. With the ultimate goal of coming to a point of 'agreeing to disagree.'

If you can win that game, you automatically win the "get inside their head" game.
--
Also, I often hang out at the Vigilance blog (teachthefacts.org). The Montgomery County Council of Maryland Council recently passed a measure banning discrimination on the basis of "gender identity" (along with race, religion, handicap, etc.), but the anti-gays are all in a hoopla about it, and lying every which way from Sunday to stop it.

Note, it is potentially a toxic environment, there are a handful who continue to denigrate LGBT persons to no end, but there are many regulars, like me, who continue to refute their lies and slander on a continual basis, and to that extent, it’s a quite supportive environment.

There are at least three openly transgender persons who post there, often if not always with intense insight - factual AND personal.

http://teachthefacts.org/vigilance.html
--
P.S. I am also very sorry to hear about your correspondence-acquaintance who killed themselves. Again, If there’s anything I can do to help you with feeling more comfortable speaking out, please let me know.

-Patrick

It's important to be in control mentally rather than shout at each other which accomplishes nothing. I will check out the website you listed. Sounds interesting.

Gennee

[tymejumper]

You may not have considered yourself an activist, but you are one now. I bet Martin Luther King, Jesus and Ghandi never thought they were activists either!

I am sorry about your friend.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by Alecto

Some people are born to make waves, and that's awesome, but a whole lot more of us I feel just get to a point where we can't NOT do anything anymore. Exactly like you said, Gennee, that you must speak out. It comes to a point where you just can't stand by and pretend it's not that bad anymore. And maybe it was a specific incident, or a growing sense of unease, or some other path, but I"m not surprised in the least that otherwise shy people are stepping up and doing very un-shy things.

I think this is exactly what happened at the Stonewall Inn in 1969 except it happened on a large scale. A group of LGBT people had been pushed to a point where they could no longer NOT do anything.

That Stonewall attitude is still with us and is reflected in Gennee's word's, "....wrongs need to be corrected."

Rick

[Gennee]

Originally Posted by Rick336

I think this is exactly what happened at the Stonewall Inn in 1969 except it happened on a large scale. A group of LGBT people had been pushed to a point where they could no longer NOT do anything.

That Stonewall attitude is still with us and is reflected in Gennee's word's, "....wrongs need to be corrected."

Rick

Stonewall needed to happen and it turned out for the better. It was the same three years earlier in San Francisco with the Compton Cafeteria riots. I'm so happy that these events happened because it demonstrates that we the people can affect change.

Gennee

[Zerbie]

Keep inspiring and empowering us, Gennee. Thank you.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by Gennee

Stonewall needed to happen and it turned out for the better. It was the same three years earlier in San Francisco with the Compton Cafeteria riots. I'm so happy that these events happened because it demonstrates that we the people can affect change.

Gennee

Gennee,

I had never heard of the Compton Cafeteria riot in San Francisco in 1966 until you mentioned it in your post. I googled it and learned a part of LGBT history I'd never heard before.

Thanks for the info.

Rick