Gatekeepers: My reflection on ER at NCU

[dewdrop_world]

As often happens, it's late and as I sit down to write this, so I'm not sure if it will make as much sense as I hope. Please be gentle with me if I have lapsed!

I've had a lot of thoughts bouncing around all day which kind of tie together the last equality ride action, my experiences on the United Methodist bulletin board, and what I see as the central Christian message. That's kind of a lot, so I guess this will be a start.

To my recollection, Jesus lost his temper only once in the gospel story, when overturning the money changers' tables in the temple. (If I'm incorrect in that, please set me right!) What interests me about the story is not what it says about protest (nonviolent or otherwise), but rather against whom Jesus was protesting and for what reason. For it's telling that the only group to receive Jesus's wrath in the Gospels are the church officials of his time. As such the story can also be a cautionary tale to people who position themselves as religious authorities today.

The interpretation I was raised with holds that the Pharisees had corrupted the practice of religion by charging exorbitant fees for the supplies needed for ritual sacrifice--a kind of spiritual extortion. Since we don't require anyone to buy expensive gadgets and trinkets to pray, we might think we're off the hook. But I think the same kind of corruption is in evidence today, only using different terms and involving different capital.

The scribes and Pharisees put themselves in the role of God's gatekeepers. Like Heidi Klum on Project Runway, they could decide who is in, and who is out. It's pretty obvious to us today that they used the wrong criteria for that decision--powerful leaders were in. The rich were definitely in! And the poor and suffering--well, if God liked them so much, they wouldn't be in such bad shape, would they? Criminals? Evil. Prostitutes? Immoral. And tax collectors? How gauche.

Today we recognize it as a barbaric perversion of religion. The people who most needed grace were excluded from it, in the only place that could have offered it. Jesus's fresh vision offered hope. But inevitably, communities formed around it, and the communities hardened into institutions with their own power structures. When that happens, there's always the risk that the new institutions will repeat the mistakes of the old. That our culture today is so different from the culture of Jesus's time can have the unfortunate effect of blinding us to subtler parallels.

Today's churches act like gatekeepers at times, not so materially but more in the realm of doctrine. It's no longer a matter of keeping the "wrong" people out, but rather keeping the "wrong" ideas out. And when there is a conflict between doctrine and the core of some people's lives--when someone's way of loving, manner of prayer or experience of divine grace does not fit into a church's doctrinal framework--the wagons circle instantly and it is very clear who is out. People who might have brought unique gifts and insights to a community find that they will be welcome in the community only if they throw the gifts away and turn their back on the insights of a lifetime.

That was never Jesus's way. Now, in too many places, it is the Christian way, however. I keep hoping for Christians to rise out of their complicity with this reversal, but sadly the natural human tendency to establish an "in" crowd is not easily overcome.

The NCU sermon on the equality ride is a gatekeeper action. Members of the community hear it as defending the principles of the community. To me it's a rejection, not only of my sexual orientation, but of my spirituality, my experience of God's grace, and of my life and testimony. No matter how lovingly the defense is phrased, you can't eliminate the subtext, which is that nothing I've done, seen or lived matters one whit.

The UMC bulletin boards really brought this home for me. For many people over there, it's simply axiomatic that their way is the right way, and that anyone who experiences God differently is misguided at best. I tried very hard to open up common ground between my experience and theirs, and while I'll never know how many people understood what I was saying (Internet forums seem to draw out disagreement more than concord!), my optimism is fading. The door is closed and the gates are locked.

Before spending time on that bulletin board, I would have denounced equality ride's latest action as rash and confrontational. Now, though, I understand why they did it. I, too, have experienced the closed door of Christianity. I, too, feel powerless as I watch my native faith (Catholicism) shutter the door ever more tightly and pile gilded padlock upon gilded padlock. I see that I'm asked to sacrifice my unique gifts so that others can be spared the responsibility of questioning received wisdom. It's an unconscionable sacrifice, and I see now, quite clearly, that reasoned discussion and honest testimony may simply not be enough. To take Jesus's example seriously, rage is an appropriate response when the church closes its doors to brethren.

I realize this isn't a sufficient "defense" of the latest action. However, we are being asked to understand NCU students' pain without any assurance that our pain will be understood in time. So I call on those who are upset by these recent events to follow Jesus's example and open the church doors, just enough to hear the cries outside. That would make it a beginning, not an end. It is entirely in your hands.

James

[Venari]

I strongly agree with you that the door has been closed by many well meaning Christians. Dr Anderson is one of the greatest men I have ever met, yet I know from his words and actions he mistakenly closes the doors on many people.

The problem is that it was the students who were hurt. The ones within who have been deemed "good enough" to enter but hold no real power. Many of the students speak up and out for social issues but then we are now forced to tend to our own hurting and not the hurting outside the gates.

I have never disputed NCU is shortsighted on the issue of homosexuality. I have been opposed to the methods used by the Equality Ride. Which has now played out, the people within who were most likely to open the doors when it was our time to lead were the ones hurt the most. Now we find ourselves in the after the storm phase. Which leaves us wondering, where will the attitudes be rebuilt? Will the attitudes rebuild to a better understanding or will they be rebuilt as a stronger desire to keep our gates closed.

If you will please forgive me for using a war-like analogy;

There are "innocents" on each side who are hurting and confused. I feel this "division" can be resolved without "collateral" damage, like we have seen at NCU. This is what the ER needs is to find a way to carry their message to people and not cause pain to people they are bringing their message to.

-Venari

[Zerbie]

I wasn't going to post at the moment - I am emotionally fatigued from these discussions. But James, that was a beautiful and very moving note you posted here.

I have tended to be with Venari on the technicality here. Still do. But I've despaired so often within my own heart, I can easily see why so many of our friends here strongly approve of yesterday's action. I have no educated opinion on yesterday's incident - will never have - I simply don't have the information, would need to have been there. Some say the Riders were wrong and confrontational and caused hurt or harm, and some say they were heroic. Somewhere in the middle must lie the truth.

[Daniel]

James-

Like Zerbie- I've been feeling whacked with keeping up with all the posts today. But yours. Man. It is beautiful was well as elegant. You've said so many things I have thought and felt.

Thank you for your words and wisdom. You have spoken for many and the one.

I salute you.

[dewdrop_world]

Originally Posted by Venari

Now we find ourselves in the after the storm phase. Which leaves us wondering, where will the attitudes be rebuilt? Will the attitudes rebuild to a better understanding or will they be rebuilt as a stronger desire to keep our gates closed.

This is true--however, it's not entirely fair to say that ER's action is the sole determinant of the outcome. NCU students who are concerned with opening the church's gates still have free will, a measure of choice! I see room for hope here. It's by no means certain that all who are hurting must forever blame the person/people who catalyzed the hurt. All the great religious traditions call for a deeper response--not merely "I am hurting," but moving beyond that into transformation and ultimately, deeper insight and compassion. This is my path (I wouldn't be able to write here if it were not). I believe NCU students are just as capable of this as I.

I hinted on another thread that you, Venari, have a unique understanding of this situation, and you are uniquely equipped to help your community move beyond the hurt into deeper understanding. I still believe that.

James