Hi,

[sauu4equality]

I'm Kyle and I live in Texas luckily out of the hurricane's reach. I've enjoyed reading your posts for about a week and decided it was time to participate. I could use some support during the election season. I'm 25 (Monday) and Bisexual. I've recently come out to my parents and they didn't take it all that well. But we still talk. I just wish I could be myself with them. While my parents don't have any strong religious convictions keeping them from acceptance I think that the Church's views have a big impact on society. So, Soul Force seems like a good fit for me. As a UU I have an interest in all religions and a love for people of all religions. I cannot say it has been easy to uphold our first principle, however, especially with the likes of Sarah Palin getting on a political ticket. Our first principle is a belief in the worth and dignity of all people. To me it is similar to Soul Force's message of loving our adversary and being compassionate to our oppressors. Well just wanted to give a brief intro before I start weighing in on other threads.

[Gennee]

Hello Kyle and welcome to Soulforce. Thank you for sharing your story.

Gennee

[Zerbie]

Welcome. Happy Birthday!!

[Northern_Imager]

Welcome Kyle. Pleased to meet ya! Glad you're out of reach of the hurricaine.

Keep the bridge intact with your parents and hopefully they will come around. You're still their son and there are bonds of love there that will overcome any prejudice and misunderstanding they have of GLBT people. You are aware of the Soulforce resouces available on the site that you can download and print off and use to inform yourself and to educate your parents. Is there a PFLAG chapter near where you live that you could ask your parents to attend? Your UU congregation could tell you.

I'm a partisan Democrat and know your feelings about this election. I have a lot of negative feelings toward the current regime in the White House too. It's a case of hating the sin and loving the sinner but often difficult to separate the two. Living up to one's principles is easier said than done, for sure. But they are there to guide you and keep you on track and when you fall short to help you get back on track.

[sauu4equality]

Hi Northern. Thanks for the reply. I have actually spoken to PFLAG Austin and PFLAG San Antonio. Both of them told me that they have never met a bisexual and that most people who say they are bisexual are actually just gay people trying to make their parents feel better. I don't intend to throw PFLAG under the bus. Both representatives were very nice about it. They offered me literature and invited me to meetings. PFLAG Austin was very interested to find out there was an American Institute of Bisexuality. He was also completely unaware of Binet Austin, a bisexual yahoo group and social club that meets 3 or 4 times a month in Austin. Unfortunately this group only meets in Austin and with gas prices the way they are I can't get up there as much as I would like.

Eventually I found a PFLAG email list, sent to me by a PFLAG Los Angelos rep, that had alot of parents of GLBT children and other supportive people. I live a good 5 or 6 hours from my parents and have really been able to be myself in the last couple of years. This is probably why I came out. I have referred my mom to PFLAG, but now I'm concerned about that decision because if they tell me that most bi's are just closeted gays then that's most likely what they'll tell my mom. Fortunately, I told my mom this, so she is somewhat prepared. I go back and forth on whether this is a good thing or not...because if I'm dating a guy it might be ok for her to think I'm just gay so she's not always trying to change me...but if I decide to date a girl then she'll think that's who I am and then be heartbroken again if it doesn't work out....so that's all pretty confusing for me at this point. I guess I finally decided it would be easiest to just tell her who I was so none of my relationships would be confusing or shocking to her.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by sauu4equality

Hi Northern. Thanks for the reply. I have actually spoken to PFLAG Austin and PFLAG San Antonio. Both of them told me that they have never met a bisexual and that most people who say they are bisexual are actually just gay people trying to make their parents feel better. I don't intend to throw PFLAG under the bus. Both representatives were very nice about it. They offered me literature and invited me to meetings. PFLAG Austin was very interested to find out there was an American Institute of Bisexuality. He was also completely unaware of Binet Austin, a bisexual yahoo group and social club that meets 3 or 4 times a month in Austin. Unfortunately this group only meets in Austin and with gas prices the way they are I can't get up there as much as I would like.

Eventually I found a PFLAG email list, sent to me by a PFLAG Los Angelos rep, that had alot of parents of GLBT children and other supportive people. I live a good 5 or 6 hours from my parents and have really been able to be myself in the last couple of years. This is probably why I came out. I have referred my mom to PFLAG, but now I'm concerned about that decision because if they tell me that most bi's are just closeted gays then that's most likely what they'll tell my mom. Fortunately, I told my mom this, so she is somewhat prepared. I go back and forth on whether this is a good thing or not...because if I'm dating a guy it might be ok for her to think I'm just gay so she's not always trying to change me...but if I decide to date a girl then she'll think that's who I am and then be heartbroken again if it doesn't work out....so that's all pretty confusing for me at this point. I guess I finally decided it would be easiest to just tell her who I was so none of my relationships would be confusing or shocking to her.

THOSE PFLAG groups don't know what they're talking about!!
That's quite unfortunate. They may be driving bi folk, who have difficulty expressing and conveying who they are in that respect, away from a group that could have potentially been support for them. That's sad.
I was happy to see the chapter president of my own area PFLAG write an essay on the importance of NOT pushing away, disbelieving, or invisibilizing those who are bisexual.

I am sure that it sometimes happens that someone gay says they're bi as they test the waters. Seriously, I question whether that's any easier than saying you're gay. Perhaps to some.

You're going to have to live your life and date whoever it is you connect with, regardless of what your parents' reaction might be.