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#1
04-23-2006, 09:43 PM
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Love struck.....
Uhm soooo........ok here goes, me and my gf of 2 1/2 years recently broke up. its ok though, b/c i've realized that i deserve better and can do better. she's cheated on me a few times, and i shouldn't have taken her back at all so i blame it on myself not just her.
I have this huge crush on someone on campus......the only problem is, i can't really do anything about it b/c of who this person is.....this person sets off my "gaydar" ALOT.....and i'm usually pretty good w/ stuff like that. i don't really want to say alot about them. I really wish i could just say something or ask them out, but i kno it wouldn't be professional, but its really hard to not say anything.....i guess i'm kinda asking for advise as to what any of you would do in this situation. 
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#2
04-23-2006, 09:48 PM
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My ADvice:
Stop trying to make life happen and let life happen! Love only comes when you are least expecting it, but when you push and try to make it happen, it just never works out the way it could have. BUT, this is only my opinion not based on any science or facts. I have just learned life happens, when I let it happen, as opposed to forcing it.
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#4
04-23-2006, 10:23 PM
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Always the minority voice
Nah, I say Ask Them Out!!
Unless there is some compelling reason why it would be a bad idea. I didn't get that sense. Why did you say it would be unprofessional?? Are you not both students? How do you know this person isn't just dying to ask *you* out and feeling shy while waiting for life to happen? Asking someone to a movie, dinner, game, fill-in-the-blank-with-social-activity-here isn't forcing life. Asking repeatedly, chasing someone around, and sending spammy emails and puppy-eyed love letters would be, not to mention totally freaky. But asking someone out? That's totally cool. I say do it. 
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#5
04-23-2006, 10:31 PM
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hmm... hehehe
I've got a different kind of view on the situation, knowing parties involved.
Sbonser, I think you have evidence that the person at least favors you. Maybe make some subtle hints, like compliment her. You could ask her if she'd like to go to a social event with you and a group and see how she reacts (if she goes, what she does when she's there). Maybe you could bring up how hard it is to find a decent girl in the area.  You could work something into the conversation about the kind of gf you want to be or want to be with, like "I like having those inside jokes with someone special" or "It's nice to have someone to hold on to during horror movies" to let her know what kind of person you are in relationships and maybe if she'd like to be in a relationship with you.
__________________
No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody. - Rita Mae Brown
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#6
04-23-2006, 10:49 PM
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Yes, Mia14 u make some good points, and i have some things to tell u....when i see u again.
Zerbie, no we are not both students, there in lies the problem. if we were it would be sooooo much easier! Thanks for all the love
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#8
04-24-2006, 01:02 AM
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Ah ha! There ya go, I get it now. Maybe. - I'm thinking now that you are a student and she is a faculty member? (it says above that you live in a dorm, so I assume you are the student.)
In that case, sorry to say this but - wait til you have your degree. Are you going to graduate soon? Will you still be living in the area? It is generally not at all a good idea for a student to get involved dating faculty while in school. It does happen, but as you know it can lead to all sorts of interesting problems. What if you get involved for a while but then break up? That being only one potential problem. Departmental gossip and rumor being another, not incidental problem. And I'm fairly certain there are ethics codes at schools that could get her in trouble. Sorry to hear that the new object of your affections is (probably) out of reach for the time being. But if she is "the one," that won't change with time. I really would let it go, and if still interested when your degree is done, pursue it then.
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#9
04-24-2006, 04:14 AM
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Love Stinks!
... or maybe she is the custodian and sbonser04 is allergic to pine?
...just out of things to say and wondering why that doesn't stop me...
__________________
shamelessselfpromotion
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#10
04-24-2006, 10:47 AM
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Caution
Quote:
I was one of those who had a relationship with a faculty member...in my subject, but not someone I had classes with. It was my first 'big' relationship. And I am sorry to report that it was painful and traumatic. That was my story of course, but there are several things about these kinds of relationships that suggest caution. For one thing, the 'power' structure of the relationship is uneven from the beginning. The ethical concerns are serious. And if, suppose, the person in question did take a fancy to you? If they are worth their salt they will ask you to wait too. That would show real consideration of you as a person.
__________________
Be the love you seek.
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