Hello.

[hlg1767]

Hello, my name is Hector Garcia. I am 41 y.o., Capricornian (Jan 17) and I am native of the "isla del Encanto" Puerto Rico. Left PR to join the military in '92. Before that I lived a pretty empty life, hiding from the rest of the World within myself; being a shy and introverted guy, never came out to my 50% Catholic, 50% new born Evangelical family because I thought that I wouldn't handle to get argumentative with my family so I decided to move as far from them as possible. Seventeen years later I find myself being mostly out but still closeted to my family. Most of the time I feel like a person without family. Three goals I have about being member of this group are: 1- Leave my isolation behind and hopefully meet like minded people so I can feel in community, 2- Work with my low self esteem and get the guts to let my family know me as I am, and 3- Help in any way I can my community.
I'm trying to reach my family to dispell their lies and fears but I have not found yet any information about being gay and christian "en espanol". Most of them don't speak any English so it wouldn't help to send them literature in English. If any of you know about any Spanish information Please let me know.
I'm also dealing with my internalized anger against everything that taste or sound Christian. Yes, I consider myself Christian because deep in me I know that God (or Jesus, or whoever up there) loves me, but so far I have not found any peace or joy in my faith. Only shame and dissapointment. I still remember like if it would have happened yesterday when my ex-pastor of my ex-church told the youth of my church that he would give permission to any of us to beat any gay man that try to sexually harass us. This is why I consider myself Christian and non-Christian. I love the teachings of Jesus (wich would make me a Christian) but I feel embarrased and ashamed of being called Christian, I think the World would be a more loving place without Christianity as we know it today. Well, thanks for letting me spill a little of my anger and hope I'm not offending someone.
Hector

[BenL]

Hola, Hector. Welcome to Soulforce.

Many of us here have known shame and condemnation in our family and religious histories. Welcome to a new, accepting family. There are many fascinating people here who can become online friends and help you step out of your isolation. I'm sure others who are web-savvy can help you find the Spanish-language resources you are looking for. I suggest counselling and/or therapy with a gay-knowledgable and gay-friendly counselor to help you find peace with your orientation and identity.

Family is so important to we humans. Not having close, loving families is especially difficult at this time of year. Many of us make new families of choice to counterbalance the families we were born into.

Good luck. You've come to a friendly place. Please join the conversations.

Edit: Here is the link for "What the Bible Says ... " in Spanish.

[Gennee]

Welcome, Hector. There's nothing wrong with being Christian; it's just some of the people who call themselves Christian. I'm Christian and transgender and love the Lord with all my heart.

Gennee

[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Hector,

I have tried to find Spanish translations to my favorite books, but have had no luck. There must be some good Spanish resources for LGBT education. I will keep looking and let you know what I find.

I understand your anger and embaressment about being associated with Christianity. The organized church has not been very supportive of gays and is still probably the biggest hindrance to LGBT acceptance. There are many very gay affirming Christian communities, however.

I keep in mind that God is very gay-affirming even if many Christians are not. I am proud that I am a follower of Jesus and proud that I am a gay man. I refuse to let anyone tell me that I can't be both.

I would recommend that you really consider telling your family. You have moved away from them and kept some distance. "Coming out" to them is something that you probably will want to do at some point in time. It might not be pleasant and might take some members of your family some time to adjust to the idea, but I always think honesty is best. In my situation coming out to family was fairly easy. My mom had a little difficulty with it at first, but I found out that everyone had suspected it all along and it wasn't much of a surprise. Sometimes putting things into writing is easiest.

Please take some time and share some more with us.
I am glad you have found you way to our forums.

Tu Amigo, Pablo