Standing up for gay rights in my class

[pnggrad79]

As an English teacher, I teach vocabulary. The word we were discussing last Thursday was "absolutely". The exercise called for the students to fill in a blank in a sentence. The sentence was "I absolutely__________ because______________. One boy, age 12, wrote "I absolutely hate gay people because that is just wrong." He read aloud to the class and it was met with all kinds of snickers and giggles. I stopped them from laughing and said to the boy, "Why?" He answered, "Because it is just gross to see two men kissing." I said, "It may be gross to you, but it isn't to them!" Then everybody got quiet.

I broke out into a tirade. I said that they had a right to dislike someone if they mistreat you. Then I asked, "Has a gay person ever mistreated you?" He said, "I don't know any gay people." I said, "Then how do you know if you hate them or not." I said, "Hating gay people because they are gay, is like hating people who are left handed because they are left handed. Does that make any sense?" He shook his head no.

I said that it was wrong to hate anyone, black, Jewish, Hispanic, Muslim, gay, etc based on that fact alone. It turned into a lesson on tolerance. I told them about a friend of mine (this was my story mixed in with the stories of a lot of gay friends of mine) whom I didn't know was gay, and we became friends, and then one day he said, "I'm gay." and I had a choice to make. I told them I could either turn my back on my friend because he was gay, or I could continue my friendship with him because he was kind, made me laugh, stood up for me, etc. I said that the kind of person he was changed my mind about gay people. I encouraged them to get to know a person before they decide they don't like them.

Then two of my kids said they had an aunt who was a lesbian and an uncle who was gay. They said that their families had a hard time with it, but eventually accepted them and they saw nothing wrong with it, that it was just who they were.

Anyway, the discussion broke up because I had to take the class to PE.


The next day the principal pulled me aside and told me he appreciated the lesson on tolerance but that I needed to keep it on grade level and realize they were 12 years old.

I didn't say this aloud to him, but I thought that these 12 year olds are old enough to hate gay people, they are old enough to hear why it is wrong. I guess some parents complained.... My ultimate thought was, "At least I got an hour of discussion with them about tolerance of gay people." These 12 year olds are allowed to watch R rated movies and play R rated video games, but when we say "gay" all of a sudden they have virgin ears and are "too young" for such discussions. My concern is that some kid may have begun questioning his or her sexuality and if it is hushed up and not talked about they will feel pressured to "act" straight and listen to the jokes and maybe even date the opposite sex, and coming out will be traumatic at best. I want to reverse that trend and let them know if they one day realize they may be gay, they have someone to come to and talk about it.

[Zerbie]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

The next day the principal pulled me aside and told me he appreciated the lesson on tolerance but that I needed to keep it on grade level and realize they were 12 years old.

I didn't say this aloud to him, but I thought that these 12 year olds are old enough to hate gay people, they are old enough to hear why it is wrong. I guess some parents complained.... My ultimate thought was, "At least I got an hour of discussion with them about tolerance of gay people." These 12 year olds are allowed to watch R rated movies and play R rated video games, but when we say "gay" all of a sudden they have virgin ears and are "too young" for such discussions. My concern is that some kid may have begun questioning his or her sexuality and if it is hushed up and not talked about they will feel pressured to "act" straight and listen to the jokes and maybe even date the opposite sex, and coming out will be traumatic at best. I want to reverse that trend and let them know if they one day realize they may be gay, they have someone to come to and talk about it.

You did a fabulous job!!

Your principal needs some more educating, though I don't know who should do it. Maybe you could find an appropriate way to suggest contacting and working with GLSEN?

When I taught English in Texas, I had a similar confrontation with 17-18 year old students over the idea of bashing and killing 'fags.' My colleagues and the principal all told me I shouldn't bother because we all know homosexuals are 'different' and 'will never be accepted.' It descended into a bunch of gay jokes at my expense. It sounds like your principal is much further along than that.

You may be exactly right - he's caught in a crossfire between your lesson on tolerance and the ideology of parents. 12 is by NO means too young, as I'm sure you know. Kids half that age can understand. I don't know what you could have said that would have been more 'age appropriate.' There might be a way of gently stating to him "If they're old enough to hate, they're old enough to hear about tolerance." This depends upon how well your principal deals with being 'contradicted' and if it would put him on the defensive, or if he would be open to the input.

By 12, plenty of kids could already be questioning their sexuality, and to hear a teacher defend their humanity is incredibly important. If they don't hear that, and they hear homophobia at home and church, they can think the whole world is anti-gay, and be caught in a hell like Bobby in the movie we all just saw on Lifetime. You did the exact right thing, PNG. Thank you.

[tehillah05]

Hello fellow educator!! I have my degree in social studies for the secondary levels (9-12) here in Missouri. I don't have a teaching job yet - and am keeping my fingers crossed that the Missouri legislature doesn't cut funding to education - but am actively looking for one. I student taught sophomore world history. It was so much fun! Anyway, in the unit about the Renaissance and Reformation, we were talking about Martin Luther and his 95 Theses. I explained that Luther looked at the church in his time, saw a lot of inconsistencies and things that, in his mind, were wrong and was not God's original intent for the church (like selling indulgences, etc). He wrote his 95 Theses and posted it to the door of Wartburg Castle's church. He also wrote it in the common language so everyone could read his list of complaints. The students seemed to think Luther was an alright guy and had guts (or "a brass set" as one student put it). I gave them an assignment to write their own Theses complaining about anything they like -within certain perameters of course. It had to be 12-15 complaints long and then they had to follow it up with at least 5 suggestions of how to fix the problems they saw. On the day the assignment was due, I would collect the Theses, read them outloud & each class would vote on which their favorite. The 'winner' from each class would then be posted on our classroom door. (made for very interesting conversations) I left the decisions completely up to them. They were allowed to work in groups or on their own. In my 5 World history classes, most groups did things like "12 school rule Theses" or "12 boy theses". One group surprised me...well they didn't surprise me in the content of their Theses...they surprised me that they actually wrote it. I believe the title was "12 government theses" or something close to that. I should probably explain the dynamics of that 3 person group - 1 lesbian, 1 gay boy, 1 straight girl (who happened to be Hispanic). They wrote very eloquently about discrimination based on gender, race, age, and sexual orientation. They wrote about the church knowing it's place in society and not being involved in politics. I don't remember their solutions but I remember they were logical and well thought out. In that particular class - it was a higher functioning, higher achieving class - I didn't worry about reading it outloud although they did not want their names used. I was so proud of my students - no snickers, no laughing, no finger pointing, no name calling. I was also disappointed in the apathy most of my students showed. When time came to vote on which Theses would be posted, the only ones that voted for the government theses was the group members that wrote it. THAT disappointed me; my heart broke. I was also allowed to vote (I was the teacher..my rules ) and put my vote in on the government theses. While I'm not out by any means, I do stand up for discrimination when I see it and applaud it when it's avoided or it doesn't happen.

Strange thing happened after that assignment - the 2 gay students spoke to me more, smiled, and gave me hugs whenever possible. Maybe someday their vision of a truly FREE USA will be realized.

Sorry if I rambled.

[Matt Algren]

Originally Posted by pnggrad79

The next day the principal pulled me aside and told me he appreciated the lesson on tolerance but that I needed to keep it on grade level and realize they were 12 years old.

Maybe what he really meant is that older students probably know better what their parents can handle. Much less likely to bring up a reasonable and organic discussion on tolerance if they know their parents would pitch a fit.

ONN was up in arms last week because an English teacher in Wisconsin devised and taught an eight-week unit on homophobia. It was for older kids than yours, but the first assignment might be helpful.

One way in which we are all similar is that we all have differences. Sometimes these differences make lives better (in Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie's illness helped countless other prioritize their lives); however, at times these differences cause great pain (Hester Prynne's scarlet letter). Write a three paragraph essay, due at the end of the hour, in which you describe your biggest difference from others and the way it impacts your life.

The entire lesson plan is available here.

[BruceChris]

But you guys have some great stories.

I agree with you, png, children should be taught from early on that prejudices should not be fostered.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[pnggrad79]

Tehilla,
I also teach Social Studies and we, too, covered the Renaissance and Martin Luther. Our social studies textbook gave the Renaissance all of two paragraphs which it shared with the Reformation. I immediately threw that book aside and dug up my own resources to teach these very two important events that shape our existence today, at least in the Western world, but arguably the whole world.
Interesting assignment you gave them-do you mind if I copy it and do it with my GT kids next year? I think it will be very interesting as GT kids sometimes come up with stuff I would have never thought about.
I think it is good that your glbt kids know they have a place to go to. I have had 3 kids so far,in 6th grade, come to me privately telling me they thought they were gay. I am not out either. but I listened and gave them advice that was appropriate for them at that stage.
My principal bows often to gripey parents and although I think he may privately agree with me, he is afraid of parents who cause a lot of trouble because he will get his ass chewed if the parents go above him to the administration.
Here in Texas, gay people walk a fine line. We don't advertise it and try to keep it private, but you know, sometimes I want to shout it out and not be afraid of reprisal, but then again, I don't want crosses burned in my front yard....

[Xero Eclipse]

pnggrad79, you are my hero.

Thank you for being so brave and speaking eloquently on such an important issue of hate of others vs. getting to know someone first before judging them. The students may not have been taught to critically think about the values and ideas they'd be instilled with, so some critical self-reflection skills sound like a very valuable and practical ability; thanks for helping to enlighten a few more members of our society to think critically.

[Rick336]

This is the kind of courage it takes to achieve freedom.

Thank you pnggrad79!

Rick