Bad News

[Zerbie]

Thanks, Jen. Your good caring heart shows all the time.

Steve, look everywhere possible for help. That is not meant as an insult. It's meant as an empowering thing. See, the things you mention on here are a lot for anyone to deal with. They would overwhelm an adult. You are still very young, so you've had even less time to develop ways of getting through difficult and terrible experiences.
Those experiences are overwhelming. That's why we are shouting a bit loud that you need to find someone to help you. A good therapist can help you by finding ways you may not have thought of yet to get through the rough times healthier and stronger.

Find someone.

[stevejones]

Jenn i wish i could talk to my pastor but he thinks homosexuaitly is sick and disgusting

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by stevejones

Jenn i wish i could talk to my pastor but he thinks homosexuaitly is sick and disgusting

So- go talk to one who isn't anti-gay. Look for affirming churches in your city, town and neighborhood. You just gonna keep going to a church where they don't accept you?

If you can drive around on your own, and your parents don't have a clue what you are up to, you can drive yourself to a place where people accept you.

This is a no-brainer.

[stevejones]

Daniel dont u think i would have thought of that...search the city i live it..its small and the neartest accepting church of gays is almost 2 hrs away..tell me how i could leave a small town where my family is very well known and always have tabs of where i am? plz if u can help me leave this hell hole i am all ears but i have no place to go...the open gay population in this town you could count on one hand and i have tried to talk to them...one is 30 hasnt had sex sex i was about 11 and all he wants to do is fuck me which i dont want...the other is about the same age but he is too vain to talk to me and all he would want to do is fuck me if i was up to his standards..i go to that church because the pastors family has been more like family to me then my own they wouldnt agree with what i do but they would still love me and accept me..the nazarene church does not turn away anyone who wants to step through the front doors but they do not accept homosexuality as being ok they believe it as a sin and they want u in the church but they pray u would change ur lifestyles...there is not many places for me to go around here if there was i would of already been there by now

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by stevejones

Daniel dont u think i would have thought of that...search the city i live it..its small and the neartest accepting church of gays is almost 2 hrs away..tell me how i could leave a small town where my family is very well known and always have tabs of where i am?

I guess you are going to have to get a job, save up enough money and move, just like most gay people do if they think they can't survive and thrive in the place that they live.

You are finding lots of ways why you can't do anythng for yourself. And as long as you do this, nothing will get better for you.

Sorry that your life is hard. But life is hard. Not just for you, but for many other people.

Know what? One thing you could do to get some perspective is to go help others who are less fortunate than you. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen. Go to the local homeless shelter and help out. Go sit with old people at the nearest nursing home.

Find some meaning for your life by giving it some meaning. Make someone else happy tomorrow. Be someone's friend. Get busy.

Being gay is not the end of the world.

[stevejones]

I do have a job. and i work for my family in a family own business...and most of the things uve recomended me to do like go to a nursing home a sit with old ppl i have done that..i have helped people who had no where to go..i even gave a homeless girl who turned out to be a exporn star a place to stay and she fucked with my father...ive done more in my community then most and i just dont see the point anymore of tryin to help people...it gets old

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by stevejones

I do have a job. and i work for my family in a family own business...and most of the things uve recomended me to do like go to a nursing home a sit with old ppl i have done that..i have helped people who had no where to go..i even gave a homeless girl who turned out to be a exporn star a place to stay and she fucked with my father...ive done more in my community then most and i just dont see the point anymore of tryin to help people...it gets old

Well. That says it all, doesn't it?

We get out of life what we put into it. And since you've given up..well....good luck!

And come to think of it, I guess you are right: all the bad stuff that is happening to you is someone else's fault. You have nothing whatsoever to do with it. Nothing. You can't do a thing about it. Not one damn thing.

[stevejones]

daniel im srry for been a stubborn ass if u knew me u would understand..i will get help and i dont have a option this time. when i see the dtf tuesday they will arrest me and turn me over to youth services where i kno i will be made to see some one..this is just hard for me to process that i got myself into this mess...and i want out and this will get me out b4 i got in to deep...im srry plz forgive me

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Zerbie

Thanks, Jen. Your good caring heart shows all the time.

Awe, shucks!

Originally Posted by stevejones

Jenn i wish i could talk to my pastor but he thinks homosexuaitly is sick and disgusting

That is definitely a problem, but not surprising.

I want to help, I'm going to search a little and see if I can find anything at all that may be helpful to you.

Be back later.

[Jennifer5]

There's a Coldwater Congregational Church in Andalusia, I like the name but can't find information. Do you know anything about them?

There is a PFLAG branch in Montgomery, but I'm guessing that's too far away? Even if it is, perhaps you could go on a rare occasion and just meet some people that you can talk to and who can lead you to the local support.

I have some stuff I have to do... but I'll look more later.

[keltic63]

jaded and cynical at 17


I don't recall thinking much of anything was "old" when I was that age

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by stevejones

daniel im srry for been a stubborn ass if u knew me u would understand..i will get help and i dont have a option this time. when i see the dtf tuesday they will arrest me and turn me over to youth services where i kno i will be made to see some one..this is just hard for me to process that i got myself into this mess...and i want out and this will get me out b4 i got in to deep...im srry plz forgive me

1. Stop Digging.

[Daniel]

2. Look Up!

[Daniel]

3. Do whatever is necessary to get out.

[Jennifer5]

All dew respect, I think we're ready to move past the tough love stage.

If you want to help, do the research. I have to go to bed, but would be delighted if there were a bunch of links here in the morning of places near by that he could go to to talk.

Do we have any forum members in Alabama already?

Stephen we are here for you! I think it would be really good to have someone you could talk to in person though.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Jennifer5

All dew respect, I think we're ready to move past the tough love stage.

If you want to help, do the research. I have to go to bed, but would be delighted if there were a bunch of links here in the morning of places near by that he could go to to talk.

Do we have any forum members in Alabama already?

Stephen we are here for you! I think it would be really good to have someone you could talk to in person though.

Dear Jen- Mr. Stevejones reports that he is talking to people on Tuesday. He's also been - if I am not mistaken- offered numbers and contact info in previous threads. One hopes he has called them. Based on his own reporting, the situation is serious. I hope that the can pull himself back from bringing harm to himself and others. However, from what he says, he has some music to face. And while that is never easy, it is also necessary.

At this point, he may need more than numbers- perhaps something on the order of an intervention. Unfortunately, this is not something this forum can provide.

[pnggrad79]

Originally Posted by stevejones

ok everyone can quit gettin so pissy...i told yall i wasnt on anything that night i dont drive while i am on stuff...so calm down ive done it mayb 3 times so calm down...im not addicted and i dont like being cussed at...you can handle this in a more mature while..pissin me off wouldnt help me just make it worse...I kno what i did was wrong but I WAS NOT ON ANYTHING THE NITE I PULLED OVER MY LAWYER TOLD ME I SHOULD NOT OF GOT A WRECKLESS DRIVIN TICKET BUT A IMPROPER LANE USE

I think if you were pulled over for reckless driving, the cops must have had access to your records or something and saw that you got a ticket before. They do crap like that. If you say you drive sober, good for you, but you don't need to get mixed up with pills. At some point in time, if you keep up with the pill taking, it will spill over into your driving and at that point, you won't be in a position to stop. Stop now before it gets out of control. Otherwise, you not only hurt yourself, those you love but you may end up paying for the rest of your life in prison for driving under the influence and hurting someone else.

The pills are a no win situation, and while you still have a choice, get rid of them. They are not a solution and not a quick fix. They will ruin your life before you know it. Don't mean to be pissy, as you say, I am just concerned about you. As is everyone here. Watch a few Intervention shows and maybe that will drive home the fact that everyone is telling you. Get off the pills, dude.

[stevejones]

hey jenn cold water is a baptist church i have been there..it dont say it in the name but they preach the baptist denomination

[Matt Algren]

Originally Posted by stevejones

i go to that church because the pastors family has been more like family to me then my own they wouldnt agree with what i do but they would still love me and accept me..the nazarene church does not turn away anyone who wants to step through the front doors but they do not accept homosexuality as being ok they believe it as a sin and they want u in the church but they pray u would change ur lifestyles...

One step in the process of growing up is letting go of the romantic ideal you've built. You say that the pastor's family is more like family, but then say that they would think you're "sick and disgusting". You say that the Nazarene church you go to is teh awesome with welcoming people, but then you talk about them praying about lifestyles. That's not welcoming, it's damaging. They are harming you, actively so.

What I'm saying is that before you finally move away from this church and these people, you have to accept them for who they are, flaws and all, and you should at least consider challenging them to be better. That might hurt, but it's a necessary step in becoming a fully cooked adult.

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Daniel

Dear Jen- Mr. Stevejones reports that he is talking to people on Tuesday. He's also been - if I am not mistaken- offered numbers and contact info in previous threads. One hopes he has called them. Based on his own reporting, the situation is serious. I hope that the can pull himself back from bringing harm to himself and others. However, from what he says, he has some music to face. And while that is never easy, it is also necessary.

At this point, he may need more than numbers- perhaps something on the order of an intervention. Unfortunately, this is not something this forum can provide.

I hear what you're saying.

Originally Posted by stevejones

hey jenn cold water is a baptist church i have been there..it dont say it in the name but they preach the baptist denomination

Alright, from what I can see from searching for a church in your area, that may not be an option then. Can you think of a gay-friendly church near by? Perhaps something that you know of because of your church, school, or friends? Even if it has come up in a negative way?

Originally Posted by Matt Algren

One step in the process of growing up is letting go of the romantic ideal you've built. You say that the pastor's family is more like family, but then say that they would think you're "sick and disgusting". You say that the Nazarene church you go to is teh awesome with welcoming people, but then you talk about them praying about lifestyles. That's not welcoming, it's damaging. They are harming you, actively so.

What I'm saying is that before you finally move away from this church and these people, you have to accept them for who they are, flaws and all, and you should at least consider challenging them to be better. That might hurt, but it's a necessary step in becoming a fully cooked adult.

Matt, you know that it's not that simple! You can't just let go of people that you care for like that. He still cares about the friendship clearly.


Steve, what I'd like to know from you is; What do you want? What are you looking for from us?

I want to help, but I'm not getting the impression that you want to be helped. What are you looking for? You have to give us something.