Sexual abuse as a possible cause for homosexuality in some?

[Jordan0517]

this is a topic that im actually nervous about talking about here because I dont want people to take me asking this the wrong way and get offended. I have heard many cases of some where gays,lesbians, and bisexual people have been sexually abused and thus in a way i guess have caused them to go looking for love from the opposite sex. (excuse the way im explaining this but i think u guys understand what im trying to say). I was just wondering about what u guys feel about it. Im gay but I havent been raped or molested by anyone. but my ex had been for a few year when he was 5 years old till about his early teens i think and now hes decided to be straight.

I bring this up because although i dont feel that he should have to, i do think that the sexual abuse he went through may have been the reason he's actracted to men and he should face that and know it wasnt his fault. I guess what im tryin to say is that to me, it doesnt matter how u turned out gay as long as your being loved by that individual. I just want to know what you think and/ or if you can share some of your experiences.

and again, if im offending anyone, im truly sorry.

thanks guys

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Jordan0517

this is a topic that im actually nervous about talking about here because I dont want people to take me asking this the wrong way and get offended. I have heard many cases of some where gays,lesbians, and bisexual people have been sexually abused and thus in a way i guess have caused them to go looking for love from the opposite sex. (excuse the way im explaining this but i think u guys understand what im trying to say). I was just wondering about what u guys feel about it. Im gay but I havent been raped or molested by anyone. but my ex had been for a few year when he was 5 years old till about his early teens i think and now hes decided to be straight.

I bring this up because although i dont feel that he should have to, i do think that the sexual abuse he went through may have been the reason he's actracted to men and he should face that and know it wasnt his fault. I guess what im tryin to say is that to me, it doesnt matter how u turned out gay as long as your being loved by that individual. I just want to know what you think and/ or if you can share some of your experiences.

and again, if im offending anyone, im truly sorry.

thanks guys

I understand what you're saying and there's probably no way to avoid it, someone is will probably be upset about eh question. I think you've put this very nicely though.

I believe that in some cases this could be true. After all, it is the abuse of society (verbal abuse, peer pressure, etc.) and some individuals (sexual abuse) that causes many gay people to try to make themselves attracted to the same sex.

I think that abused people always handle their relationship differently. To put it simply, abuse of any sort messes people up... it's crap!

[Alecto]

I'm gonna say the same thing here as I do in every other "nature / nurture" discussion: it totally doesn't matter.
We know it's not the only "cause", if it is indeed a factor. We know that it doesn't change the fact that most people experience their orientation as unchangeable. Ultimately, it just doesn't matter.

[Zerbie]

In a way this is the wrong question that is being asked here. As Alecto says, why someone is gay or straight or in between doesn't really matter once a fact stands.

The truly important thing at issue here is that any kind of childhood abuse (ie, not necessarily sexual abuse) can produce signs or symptoms that affect one's sexuality, including a confusion about one's orientation (but that is not the only sign.) Childhood sexual abuse is going to affect every aspect of that child's life, including but far from limited to, sexuality. It's most likely to manifest as an extreme relationship to sex (either excessively sexually promiscuous or extremely avoidant of sex,) or in sexual dysfunction or confused/conflicted feelings about sexuality.

[Rick336]

Here's one opinion on the subject:


Heterosexuals Organized for a Moral Purpose (HOME), an anti-homosexual activist group, wrote the following information in their home60615.com web based article titled "Sexual Abuse: A Major Cause of Homosexuality," (accessed Mar. 5, 2009):

"It is a well-documented fact that many many homosexuals were sexually abused when young... we can see that sexual abuse can theoretically account for every case of homosexuality...

When someone says they are homosexual, our first response should be to try and find out if he/she was sexually abused and, if so, to then punish the abuser. Our next response should be to provide therapy to homosexuals to help them cope with their problems. Those who push the born-homosexual line are effectively ignoring the sexual abuse of children. What kind of 'people' want to let pedophiles get away with sexually abusing little kids? Those who oppose using therapy to change homosexuals into heterosexuals are, in effect, trying to keep homosexuals locked into homosexuality. Those who oppose such therapy do not want homosexuals to have a choice, a way out of homosexuality. That's un-American, inhumane, intolerant, and meanly oppressive...

One last note: Homosexuals do not want you to know that many of them were sexually abused when young, because many people who were so abused go on to molest others. And homosexuals do not want you to know that they are more likely to molest children than heterosexuals are."




Here's another opinion on the subject:


The National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization (NOMSV) in 2004 stated on its website, MaleSurvivor.org, that:

"While there are different theories about how the sexual orientation develops, experts in the human sexuality field do not believe that premature sexual experiences play a significant role in late adolescent or adult sexual orientation.

It is unlikely that someone can make another person a homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual. Whether perpetrated by older males or females, boys' or girls' premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about one's sexual identity and orientation.

Many boys who have been abused by males erroneously believe that something about them sexually attracts males, and that this may mean they are homosexual or effeminate. Again, not true. Pedophiles who are attracted to boys will admit that the lack of body hair and adult sexual features turns them on. The pedophile's inability to develop and maintain a healthy adult sexual relationship is the problem - not the physical features of a sexually immature boy."




The first opinion is flawed because it makes the absurd statement, "...we can see that sexual abuse can theoretically account for every case of homosexuality..."

Any study that claims that every case of homosexuality is a result of child abuse is an extremely flawed study because of the easily verifiable fact that all homosexuals were not abused as children.

Rick

[merlin2921]

I am a lesbian. I was not abused. So, while childhood trauma could theoretically change a lot of things in someone's psyche, including their sexual orientation, it would be overly simplistic (and ridiculous) to claim that this was ALWAYS the case.

Just my two cents' worth.

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by merlin2921

I am a lesbian. I was not abused. So, while childhood trauma could theoretically change a lot of things in someone's psyche, including their sexual orientation, it would be overly simplistic (and ridiculous) to claim that this was ALWAYS the case.

Just my two cents' worth.

Exactly. I wasn't abused either. In fact, nobody I know who's gay was sexually abused as a child. This is not to say that there aren't gay people who were abused, but to try to pass off so called "facts" of a study that says homosexuals are the result of child sexual abuse is ludicrous.

They put out false information.....as if nobody will ever question it.

Rick

[Jordan0517]

thanx guys for your thoughts. i totally agree that in the end, it doesn't matter. i just so happened to notice often of cases like this and i know there are people who will claim that all gay people were abused. I was never abused and I know not all are like that. Abuse is horrible not matter what the outcome. My opinion about the nature vs nurture things is that its a combination of both in a way. Not eveyone is gay for/from the same reasons.

[RedneckDyke]

This is just more propaganda of some group trying to explain why we are so "deviant". Well, some of us have been abused, some haven't. If abuse made everyone gay there'd be a lot more gays in the world. child abuse is more common than people think. Also, go to the message boards of any support group for abuse survivors and there are women talking about husbands and men talking about wives, alot more than about people talking about Same sex partners.
I am tired of fundie jerkoffs trying to "explain" me away. Yeah I like girls. A lot. Deal with it!

[Rick336]

Originally Posted by RedneckDyke

I am tired of fundie jerkoffs trying to "explain" me away. Yeah I like girls. A lot. Deal with it!

Rick

[NathanATX]

My opinion is that sexuality and gender differences are perceptible in young children. For example, my aunts told me how that when I was 3 & 4 years old, I would be found prancing around with some random woman's purse.

My theory is that predators, usually heterosexual, can identify those differences and then harm the child. I don't believe people become gay after being abused, but rather that their abusers were attracted to their uniqueness.

Of course this doesn't allow for all the heterosexual people who were abused themselves as children...

[BruceChris]

I spotted a workshop for lesbians, and they, being kind hearted, and in an open access University building, allowed me to stay. I had heard a lot about the sexual abuse of young women, in my life.

So I asked what seemed to the obvious question. Just how much of the abuse might be causing the lesbianism?

Well, they looked at me like they could tell that I had just fallen off the turnip truck, but they were polite about it, and they knew that I could not stay this ignorant forever. They said almost none of it.
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Now consider the flip side of this proposition. A very small fraction of the young men are sexually abused by women, as the other way around, and yet there are usually more gay men than gay women out there.

"It is a well-documented fact that many many homosexuals were sexually abused when young... we can see that sexual abuse can theoretically account for every case of homosexuality...

To anyone who even begins to consider the facts, there is a complete absence of credibility here.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[peoplegottabefree]

nurture or nature...either way doesn't matter.. but as for me I have known since I was about 4 or 5. i was always attracted to guys. i also don't know anyone who is gay and was abused sexually as a child...but i did hear alot about this issue when i was pushed into "gay reform therapy" when i was a pastor...it seemed to be a rallying cry for ex-gay ministries who used this argument to say i and gays in general were suffering from a "brokeness". however, i was never abused as a child...so their brokeness theory didnt fit to me... now i am finally "fixed" because i found out that my only brokeness was that I didn't know how to love and accept myself for how God/nature made me...skinny and gay it's not the "repair" my gay reform counselors had in mind

[tymejumper]

I think they are grasping a bit here. I was not sexually abused as a child and I am definately a lesbian. I have heard that theory from others, even a friend that was severly abused by her stepfather for years, until she was a teen. Funny I pointed out, that she loves men and sex with them more than just about any straight woman I know of.

We really don't know why a person is gay while another one is not. I do remember that when my kids were born, some people thought that if you nursed your male children too much, like after 6 months, then they would be gay. Stupid, you would think that they would like breasts then! That 's what makes sense to me.

[Unmasked]

It's actually still theorized by some conservatives that overbearing mothers cause male homosexuality. My mother did not breastfeed me and she worked long hours especially during her second marriage, for most of my life, my primary caregiver was a single, celibate uncle (who just recently passed). I was never abused, my mother's second husband was a Dobson freak and a homophobe. None of their causes factor into my being.

But to be perfectly fair, I don't identify as gay, or even bi-sexual. I've settled on a "pan-sexual" definition. I frankly don't find most people attractive, even if I find the aesthetically pleasing (though that's a bonus). I'm attracted to individuals, usually for very specific reasons.

Has anybody tried to formulate a stupid theory on Transpeople? The only credit I can give them is the numbers showing a low satisfaction rate with gender reassignment surgery (which can be partially explained by the social stigma, the natural limitations of the operation, and...something...brain-death...blargh...).

[tymejumper]

I've pretty much found through life that opinion(and theories) are like assholes......everyone has one.

[Unmasked]

They also smell bad.

[Dakota]

My dad used to sexually abuse me off and on from the age of 5 until 1995, when I was 28 years old. He also used to encourage me to develop homosexual crushes on other women, which I eventually did, in early childhood. And although I was never raped (I'm still a virgin at 41), I avoid men completely and see them as a threat (except for the men I've made friends with over the years), and I don't want to be touched sexually by anyone.

[Jennifer5]

Originally Posted by Dakota

My dad used to sexually abuse me off and on from the age of 5 until 1995, when I was 28 years old. He also used to encourage me to develop homosexual crushes on other women, which I eventually did, in early childhood. And although I was never raped (I'm still a virgin at 41), I avoid men completely and see them as a threat (except for the men I've made friends with over the years), and I don't want to be touched sexually by anyone.

I'm so sorry Dakota!

No one deserves to be treated that way. I hope that someday you will find a woman (or man?) who you can love and trust fully. They aren't all bad, I promise.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Dakota

My dad used to sexually abuse me off and on from the age of 5 until 1995, when I was 28 years old. He also used to encourage me to develop homosexual crushes on other women, which I eventually did, in early childhood. And although I was never raped (I'm still a virgin at 41), I avoid men completely and see them as a threat (except for the men I've made friends with over the years), and I don't want to be touched sexually by anyone.

There is a lot going on in your post.

Have you been working with a therapist to deal with things?