I am tired of having low self-esteem because I feel sexually attracted to both women and men. I don't want to feel shame any longer. I am going to get the book called "Sexual Fluidity" by Lisa M. Diamond.
Ever since I can remember, I have felt very physically attracted to pretty women. As a child, I remember thinking that it wasn't right. It has bothered me for a long long time. I remember seeing a porno magazine when I was really young, too. A relative (not a parent) showed me how sex works using Barbie dolls. I started making Ken rape Barbie, and I felt turned on by her helplessness, and his control over her.
At about age 11 or 12, I was sexually attracted to men. I never like boys, only men in their 20s or 30s. I never dated until I was in my 20s. I've never done anything with a girl except for when I played house, just a peck, when we would pretend to be getting married. I was the groom a few times. I've always thought men were so much cooler than women. I think men generally have a better sense of humour, and they don't get all sappy about stuff like so many women do.
When I get a crush on a male celebrity, it is ALL consuming!!! My HUGE crush right now is on
. This happened when I saw SECRETARY. I had seen him before and thought he was hot but didnt't realize it was the same guy. My crushes are always monogamous. If I am crushing on more than one guy than I am being unfaithful to the original crush. It sounds dopey but that's how it is.
I am very finicky about men and women. I find there are far more attractive women out there than there are men. To me, attractive men are very hard to come by, and they are usually movie stars. As far as female celebrities, some of the sexiest to me are Brooke Shields, Cindy Crawford, Jessica Alba, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Angelina Jolie, and Ali Landry. Some of the hottest looking on-screen couples are Kate Winslet and Joaquin Phoenix in "Quills", and Keira Knightley and Mathew Macfadyen in "Pride and Prejudice".