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#1
05-16-2006, 04:30 PM
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Stomach Cartwheels!
I got a letter from my lawyer today. I have filed a petition to open the custody agreement so that I can have regular visits with my youngest son. The petition has been filed at the courthouse and a hearing is scheduled. This means that if I got the letter, the ex got one, or will within a day or 2. My phone has rung 3 times since I got home.....all 3 kids are bailing out of that house tonight and want to be with me! I'm not sure if it's connected, or if they just want their daddy.
But every time it rings, my stomach flips because I know the ex is gonna call and scream at me. 
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#3
05-16-2006, 05:59 PM
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Breathe
Take some good long deep breaths. It's well-known that long exhalations bring the heart rate down and address the flight or fight response.
Breathe my friend. Breathe. This too shall pass. Your kids love ya'
__________________
Be the love you seek.
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#4
05-16-2006, 08:42 PM
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So.. you want regular visits... and now that you have filed for them... your children want out of your exes house and in with you... and you don't know if the two are connected or not?? man how confusing... this would be the home of the same woman who was out announcing it on the freeway that you were gay... she seems like a great person to have the children living with anyway... just kidding... I hope it turns out well for you... how is the end of the year going... I know that in my 3rd grade classroom we are all getting ready for summer vacation... hopefully you will have your kids living with you over the summer and then you can really connect...
God Bless... "T"
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#5
05-16-2006, 09:17 PM
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Best of luck to you Keltic
I hope the judge who hears this case will grant you your wish to have equal access to your kids. Hey, you fathered them and have been a good dad all along, despite the fact that you are gay. I don't think being gay determines what kind of parent you are or aren't. Someone can be lousy gay or straight, and conversely anyone can be a great parent, gay or straight. It isn't who you sleep with, it is the love, attention and affection you give your kids that makes you a good parent, and I believe you to be one of those great parents. Best of luck to you. Prayers are with you.
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#6
05-17-2006, 12:11 PM
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I'm with Daniel on this one.....
Just BREATHE, and BREATHE some more. This too shall pass. Embrace and enjoy your children for whatever reason they are asking for you right now. Drink in their sweetness. Stand in your truth, feel firm in who you are. I will also send any prayers I can your way. Best of everything, Keltic- Vanessa
__________________
[B]THE TRUTH IS ALL THERE IS.[/B
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#7
05-17-2006, 03:37 PM
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Thanks for the advice everyone! I am breathing. I am also rehearsing my response in my head, over and over. Funny thing is, the ex has called 2x already in the past half hour, each time for something unrelated. I'm guessing she has not received the letter, or she has and is following her lawyer's advice (for a change) and not discussing it with me. The real point is that when the phone rings, I'm not having that attack of nerves!
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#8
05-17-2006, 03:56 PM
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hey keltic,
Good luck and God bless... At times I am grateful for no kids and at others, it is the only regret I have being gay... oh well... I've no idea the legalities or mindsets involved other than what you've shared, but how might it play out to (ulp) to take the bull by the horns, blow up and ease that tension and inform the ex of the impending letter? At least the "why didn't you tell me during our last phone calls?" extra added accusation would be eliminated.... maybe talking out my elbow, but a thought
__________________
shamelessselfpromotion
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#9
05-17-2006, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
that might be a good idea, but my experience with her tells me that it's not. about 10 days ago when we had our child support review, she had been informed ahead of time that she would most likely lose $150/month because our 18yo daughter would no longer qualify for child support. That is exactly what happened. However, it did not stop the ex from displaying anger in front of the kids when she got home. My 17yo son informed me that his aunt, my ex-SIL, talked to him on the phone and was surprised that she was angry because my ex had been told what to expect. As it turns out, I'm not the only one who sees her behaviors as unreasonable. Routine letters from the lawyers during the course of the divorce were viewed as being calculated by me to cause her as much pain and suffering as possible. She called me on Christmas Eve to say "thank you for the gift' which was a letter from her lawyer stating that we had a court date scheduled in the event that a settlement was not reached before that date. We already had the settlement, the court date was merely a formality. But she was irate and very accusatory. Intuition is telling me to wait, let her get the letter, then deal with her anger as it comes at me. of course, my other thought about the situation is that she might try even harder to keep my youngest away from me until we actually go to court.
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#10
05-17-2006, 04:24 PM
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'*%#&#!~*%&'
Geeez.... I'd' let sleeping female dogs lie' too then.Thanks. Gotta be something said for 'enjoying the calm before the storm 'as well. Sounds like if you're 'damned if ya do, damned if ya don't', there's no need to 'tempt fate.' Um, 'fix it if it ain't broke? ' maybe not, 'darkest before the dawn', well maybe if you keep your' eye on prized pigs 'when they fly 'like an ea'gle', to' th'e sea, fl'y 'lik'e' a'n e'''a'gl' let y'o'ur''' spir'it s'et y'o'u' 'fr''e'e.'''.. oops sorry. Back to just Good luck and God Bless...
__________________
shamelessselfpromotion
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#11
05-17-2006, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
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#12
05-17-2006, 04:30 PM
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Keltic,
Hang in there, be strong and I'll be praying for you and your kids. Your ex obviously has no clue how her behavior is hurting the children, they are the ones that always suffer the most in these situations. They are very blessed to have you as their dad!
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#13
05-17-2006, 04:30 PM
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Yeah. It was starting to sound like scripture and I gave up...
(PS) I wanna know where/how are you getting the fun graphics lately? You buy some some special code secrets from the boss?
__________________
shamelessselfpromotion
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#14
05-17-2006, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
abracadabra Last edited by keltic63; 05-17-2006 at 06:39 PM.
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#15
05-17-2006, 04:51 PM
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Cool! I've tried other ways to no avail... (now erase it quick and it'll be our little secret
 ) Just trying to distract you ya know... I didn't realize you(r kids)were that old, and a little more resistent, and getting objective to their moms anger... {God, why does everything have to be double edged?} Thats a (/) thing...
__________________
shamelessselfpromotion
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#16
05-17-2006, 06:42 PM
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Quote:
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#17
05-17-2006, 08:32 PM
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Keltic, I've been following this thread for 24 hours and while I have absolutely NO knowledge of what you are going thru, wanted to pop in and offer ya some hugs and well wishes.
From this and previous threads it sounds like the ex has some serious personality/behavior issues and I'm very sorry for your kids for having to live with it. Unfortunately, vitriol is all too common in our culture. It's upsetting just witnessing this from a distance. If I was in the middle of it I would have to be committed to a padded cell. I wish you and your family all the best possible outcome and pray that you will all live in peace very soon.
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