A Synopsis of Gratitude

[The Cobalt Sieg]

Good evening, for, as I write this, it is indeed nightfall in my home State of Texas.
I discovered this site by a chance result from Google when I searched the sentence, "...Bible verses condemning homosexuality."
I sought reference to this because I honestly could find no such verses myself - at least, none that I believed applied as strongly as they once did. As I am gay, I have been criticized by all of my fellow Christians for my beliefs. I do mean all - I have no sympathetic brothers or sisters in Faith in this town.
As a being of great defiance and deviance (I take great pride, a sin I am possessed of, in my own uniqueness and individuality), I often argued with the utmost gusto against any such claim that homosexuals were 'filth before God'.
The most quoted verses where I am from are from Leviticus - that a man who beds another man, as one beds a woman, has done what is detestable and must be put to death. I have always argued that this passage pertains strictly to homosexual intercourse only, excluding the passion and emotion therein. I argued that our Father could never condemn true love, for that is what he so desires for us to feel and come into.
I also argued that the only sin in the act was that it served no purpose but pleasure, being unable to produce children. I therefore concluded that if homosexuality was a sin worthy of hell, the practice of safe-sex was just as much, if not more so.
This left many of my opponents greatly uneasy or simply red-faced and angry.
It bothered me to no extent how much people bow to their own stubbornness and refuse to even consider a controversial subject logically - and the weight of both arguments therein.

I confess that lately, my own heart has weakened. While I claim that I sought the verses used to condemn my own kind to discredit them fully and completely, I must admit that I had to read something, no, I NEEDED to read something that could help me feel right and just. Something that could help me feel less terrified about my own eternity. Because - even a person so strong-willed and hearted as myself fears greatly the action of displeasing God. Even with my own convictions, a large part of my soul could not completely disregard the arguments of so many people. I do not and have never feared Hell - I shall be glad to post my beliefs and mental image of Hell, as it differs greatly from one of Hell-fire and pitch-fork wielding daemons - I have but feared the pain of God. I must say that there is no thing in this wide existence that could break me so deeply as knowing that I had hurt God or injured his heart.
This is when I found this site, this evening, and read the article "What the Bible Says - And Doesn't Say - About Homosexuality" by Rev. Mel White.
While reading his article, I could literally feel my heart rising in my chest, and a great euphoria descended upon me. I have no doubt in my head or my heart that this was a touch from God to tell me that I am loved and that my orientation does not wound him.

Of this, I am certain.

Thus, I must conclude by saying that I owe a great deal of thanks to Rev. Mel White. He has done something Christ-like (for that is the meaning of being Christian) in producing his article. Even though he himself loves a fellow man, it does not lessen how over-joyed I am to know of an accepting and loving heart in this world that does not damn me by my own religion.
So, thank you, Mel White, for having the heart that you have. God bless you.

[Gennee]

Welcome to the site. There are many people here who have gone through similar things. You will be meeting them in due time.

Gennee