It takes courage, maturity and respect to do what SoulForce is doing, and it has been my experience that this is really the only way to go. Back in the 70s and 80s, we struggled quite a bit to get recognition and respect in our Quaker meetings in New England, and I was deeply involved in those contentious discussions. We got through it, though the struggle is not ever fully over. Although most of our meetings in New England support same sex marriage, there are still some that do not.
One of our larger Quaker umbrella organizations has a personnel policy that forbids intimate sexual relations between any staff member unless they are married, which is defined as being between a man and a woman. Our Yearly Meeting (independent regional association of Friends) has been struggling to speak our truth to this policy, for we are members of this larger, worldwide organization. It has exposed our remaining conflicts within New England as well.... and we are in the struggle again.
So, as one who has been there, Matt, you are right on in your assessment... that love, reconciliation and respect are the only means forward.