Beauty at the North Central University Stop

[DColeman]

Greetings Soulforce Forum-ites,

I just read through a number of comments about North Central for the first time today, and wanted to make a few comments. It was my stop, after all.

First, I have to say I am so proud of the way the Equality Riders handled themselves at NCU. I have always seen Equality Riders treat everybody with dignity and respect, and each Rider's beautiful non-violent soul shined through at North Central University. I am so proud of my fellow riders.

I also love North Central University and its mission. I respect the administration, and find them to be good spiritual role models. Though it is the school I was kicked out of unjustly, it is a place dear to my heart. I wish only the best for the student body and the leadership. That said, I found it deeply necessary to confront the deep misunderstanding perpetrated by the very same people I respect.

April 17:
What we did was come at 10:00 in the morning with tables full of water and sodas to hand out to students. Another table had cookies, and yet another had literature. Very few students actually took advantage of our presence out on the sidewalks. The reason we were out on the sidewalks was because the sidewalks are city property, and the school didn't want us on campus. They opposed our message so much that they posted security guards at every doorway to make sure Equality Riders stayed out.

After a short time, we discovered that many students had been conditioned ahead of time to expect the worst from us. People's expectations sometimes color reality a different hue.

While I led a short worship time, a number of other Riders sought out students to speak with, finding a few successful and productive conversations. Unfortunately, the mere presence security guards at every door made students wary about even venturing out. They symbolically made us into something to be feared and avoided.

So, a number of Equality Riders took a controversial stand. They wanted so badly to take a life-and-death message into the school that they knocked on the door to come in and speak with students. When the school refused to let them speak with students, they sat in front of the door symbolically.

No matter what negative spin anyone puts on this situation, I was there and saw what happened. Nobody was violent; not every door was blocked. No fire escapes were blocked. Main entrances were blocked, but people got in and out other ways. Equality Riders voluntarily accepted being dragged and pushed away from the doors; and yet, they stood their ground. They weren't there to make a scene; they were there because they care about the well-being of mistreated LGBT students.

Overall, I've heard a general contentedness about what happened from thoughtful students. Of course, some students saw our sit-in as a confirmation of every negative thing they ever thought about Soulforce. Any stand we would have taken would have been perceived this way by somebody. I have faith many students got it, though. Some students understand MLK Jr's concept of creating a crisis to dramatize an issue that has been ignored.

North Central, because of us, cannot ignore the issue. Of course, that also means that all the negativity focused on us was brought that much more into the open. North Central's negativity toward gay people clearly was deep. Pam was describing a violent hate crime against her, and claims a student laughed at her. I watched other students throwing things from windows. In fact, NCU students were, perhaps, more unreceptive to speaking with us than students from any other school on our journey! (Some were awesome; I don't want to pidgeon-hole everybody into this category.)

Now, in an environment that negatively focused against us, it seems likely that some gay students would have been heartbroken, especially since we represent them! If they were hoping for students to see us and like us, and instead saw us taking a strong stand that invited ridicule, that must have been awful. Here are people standing up in their names, and doing something that increases the ridicule and slander of gay people! It's understandable that they might blame us for that, but in the end, it's not us who are to blame. It's the environment at North Central that we're illuminating with action. It was one where we were perceived with negativity, fear, and contempt.

That I'm sad about, but I hope some come to see the positive side of what happened rather than be swayed by any ridicule directed at us. What we did was not wrong, nor was it overly radical. It was standing up for what's right and illuminated wrong.

Of course, nothing went really wrong that day. If it had, I don't think a couple of administrators would have taken me on a personal tour of the chapel before we left.

Negativity breeds negativity. One person says something bad, and another person says, "You know, they were bad to block doors! Crazy radical gays!" Somebody sheds a bad light on something and it spreads. At North Central, some people expected negative things from us, and perceived negativity where bravery and beauty existed.

Though much negativity has been spoken about the NCU stop in this forum, I have seen the positive side of this. I have talked with closeted students inspired by our presence.

The rally later that night was spectacular. No other stop on the ride had a larger rally, and I was honored. Around 300 people showed up in Elliot Park to support me and the Riders. A Star Trek hero of mine, George Takei (Sulu) was the first speaker. The executive director of GLAAD then stepped in and condemned NCU’s actions. (GLAAD!!!) It was a show of support like I’ve never seen before in my life, and I am deeply touched.

After the rally, gay students found me and told me how they felt. Amazing. We did make an impact.

[keltic63]

David,

Thanks for coming here to tell us another part of the story. We had not heard about the laughter as one rider talked, and also did not hear that some students were throwing things from windows. This could indeed make closeted students even more worried if they are outted.

[suzer1013]

Thanks for sharing this. It's good to hear another side of the story.

Susan

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by DColeman

I also love North Central University and its mission. I respect the administration, and find them to be good spiritual role models. Though it is the school I was kicked out of unjustly, it is a place dear to my heart. I wish only the best for the student body and the leadership. That said, I found it deeply necessary to confront the deep misunderstanding perpetrated by the very same people I respect.

David,

Thank you for relating your perceptions and experiences of that day.

What stands out for me is the high regard- you use the word respect- that you have for those who treated you badly at one time. That's one heck of a nut to chew on. You've highlighted, at least for this reader, what non-violence is all about.

Thank you.

Daniel

[Jamie McDaniel]

Originally Posted by DColeman

Now, in an environment that negatively focused against us, it seems likely that some gay students would have been heartbroken, especially since we represent them! If they were hoping for students to see us and like us, and instead saw us taking a strong stand that invited ridicule, that must have been awful. Here are people standing up in their names, and doing something that increases the ridicule and slander of gay people! It's understandable that they might blame us for that, but in the end, it's not us who are to blame. It's the environment at North Central that we're illuminating with action. It was one where we were perceived with negativity, fear, and contempt.

This part of your post really struck me, David, as it seems a good interpretation of events.

[Venari]

I find it very interesting how two groups can view things very different.

I for one put no credence with the words of David Coleman for the claims he has made. Another student responding on the NCU message board abut his claims of being expelled for being gay said this.

Originally Posted by Benjamin

Posted: Apr 18, 2006 11:34 PM

You mentioned three students "getting kicked out of NCU for being gay." I'll have to admit, I don't know what may have happened here years ago, but if you're refering to Dave Colman as being one of them, you'd be very wrong.

I also don't know why you'd be fearful of being ostricised in any way for coming out at school. Generally speaking, the gay students tend to be the more popular students at NCU. However, if you started believing that your orientation is somehow a gift from God, and that you're free to act upon any desire that you have, then you might have a problem with the AG...

David has shown consistent dishonesty in the claims he has made about NCU and other students. This is simply more propaganda to make the Equality Riders look like heroes of the day and the media hungry instigators they were.

You want to disagree with me thats fine, but I also was there and saw students reduced to tears for what some of the Equality Riders did and said to them.

-Venari

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by Venari

I find it very interesting how two groups can view things very different.

I for one put no credence with the words of David Coleman for the claims he has made. Another student responding on the NCU message board abut his claims of being expelled for being gay said this.


David has shown consistent dishonesty in the claims he has made about NCU and other students. This is simply more propaganda to make the Equality Riders look like heroes of the day and the media hungry instigators they were.

You want to disagree with me thats fine, but I also was there and saw students reduced to tears for what some of the Equality Riders did and said to them.

-Venari

Ok... you just lost any shred of credibility you may have been clinging to.

It's been real.

[Venari]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

Ok... you just lost any shred of credibility you may have been clinging to.

It's been real.

Thats fine, I am at the same point were any words contary to the image people have of Soulfroce are met with hostility and any words supporting it are met with praise.

Contact NCU students ans see what they have to say.

[NathanATX]

I no longer see you as someone with a loving intent. My response to you will change accordingly.

[Venari]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

I no longer see you as someone with a loving intent. My response to you will change accordingly.

Thats fine, I no longer see a few people here with a "loving" intent. This way were on the same page.

Just a last question, do you feel better tucking your head into your shell?

[Zerbie]

David,

Now THIS is what I was hoping to hear at the time that we were all screaming back and forth trying to guess what happened that day (I'm among those who were unable to download the video that purportedly showed some of it.)

The truth had to be greyer than it was painted, and it sounds like your description is probably what happened, in that you describe a range of actions and reactions from both "sides" on that day.

Venari: This is David's personal account of what he saw happen. It is NOT propaganda.

[NathanATX]

Originally Posted by Venari

Just a last question, do you feel better tucking your head into your shell?

You are being dishonest, unkind and manipulative. I "feel" better being clear on who you are and what you're up to.

FYI, I'm not talking about being hostile to you. I'm talking about being clear that you are NOT a friend, while I previously thought you were. You are NOT wanting to help, unlike the way you present yourself. You are simply upset and wanting to lash out.

My responses to you will be modified accordingly.

[Venari]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

You are being dishonest, unkind and manipulative. I "feel" better being clear on who you are and what you're up to.

FYI, I'm not talking about being hostile to you. I'm talking about being clear that you are NOT a friend, while I previously thought you were. You are NOT wanting to help, unlike the way you present yourself. You are simply upset and wanting to lash out.

My responses to you will be modified accordingly.

Nathan,

I can list all the things I think are wrong with you, but I’ll show you the respect and not air what I think your dirty laundry is. Point is we have very different world views and you and a few others refuse to show respect of anything other then your point of view.

I have been very upset and angry lately from how people here have chosen to talk to me and what they have said. I am not going to result to personal attacks as you have chosen.

Fact remains many NCU students give no credit to David’s story so I posted a comment one made to illustrate that ... after I had been accused of not providing such information in the past.

Your right my last post was intended to get a rise out of people because I am SICK of listening to people from SF getting all high on themselves of what a great thing they have done and not looking back at the condition of the school they have left behind.

Once you and everyone else gets their heads out of your asses and finds a way to better help the GLBT students, beyond a one day visit once a year, I all continue to criticize SF and its methods. Yeah, the AG and NCU talked but NOTHING changed for the better in fact it probably has gotten worse… thanks to Soulforce and the Equality Riders attempt to feel good about themselves.

-Venari

[Daniel]

Winter was descending on the countryside, and the birds were now flying south
for the season. But one little bird delayed for weeks until the frigid winds forced
him to head south as well.

The little bird flew and flew as hard as he could, but after one hour the winter
winds froze his wings and he plunged to the earth, landing in a pasture next to
a pond. The little bird cried out, “Help me! Somebody help me! I’ll freeze to death!”

A cow nearby saw the little bird and thought for a moment, and then walked over to him, and then turning her back to the bird, shit upon him and then walked away. The little bird was horrified and thought to himself, “How cruel! I am dying of cold and that cow only shits on me – what an insult!”

But the heat of the cows manure warmed the little bird’s frozen body, and now
his wings were able to move freely. “Hooray!” chirped the little bird. “Look
everyone, I can move now! I'm alive again!"

A wolf came over, and in a sympathetic tone said to the little bird,
“What a rude animal that cow was to defecate on you like that.” “She certainly was rude!” cried the bird. “Here now,” said the wolf, “let me help you to this lake and wash off that excrement.” And the wolf did indeed help the little bird the favor of leading him to the pond and cleaned him off with gentle care.

The little bird was overwhelmed with gratitude, and said, “Oh Mr. Wolf, thank you
for your kindness!”

“You are most welcome” said the wolf.

The wolf then promptly ate the bird.

THE END.


Moral #1: not everyone who kindly helps you is your friend.

Moral #2: not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

[themattperry]

Funny Daniel -- I don't get tired of that story. Although I'd have to say -- as was said before -- that SF doesn't shit on anyone, thank God.

But yes -- news flash -- SF is not here to make anyone, including ourselves, feel better, not cry, remain complacent and comfortable.

How rude of us, I know.

And if there's one thing that Venari will never be accused of being, it's comfortable. I'm glad that Venari is around ... and uncomfortable. And frustrated. Given his conflicts, he should be.

[NathanATX]

Thanks for the story, Daniel.

Venari, you are just as much a part of soulforce as I am. I have participated a *little* more than you, as 've been to a total of two events, you have been to one... but neither you nor I are official staff or volunteers. I am not soulforce any more than you are.

You have recently ripped a big hole in your integrity and you currently show little interest in repairing it. It is difficult for me to take you seriously when you don't care about communicating with honesty and integrity.

Quit being dishonest, unkind and manipulative. You can disagree with me without being underhanded.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by themattperry

Funny Daniel -- I don't get tired of that story. Although I'd have to say -- as was said before -- that SF doesn't shit on anyone, thank God.

I could have added another moral:

3) What you think is shit isn't shit.

Sorry to be rather coarse language wise- no offense mean here- just a modern parable.

[Venari]

Originally Posted by NathanATX

Thanks for the story, Daniel.

Venari, you are just as much a part of soulforce as I am. I have participated a *little* more than you, as 've been to a total of two events, you have been to one... but neither you nor I are official staff or volunteers. I am not soulforce any more than you are.

You have recently ripped a big hole in your integrity and you currently show little interest in repairing it. It is difficult for me to take you seriously when you don't care about communicating with honesty and integrity.

Quit being dishonest, unkind and manipulative. You can disagree with me without being underhanded.

No, we have nothing more to talk about on this matter.

I did create a controversy to get attention to a matter that has been bothering me; if you consider the dishonest and manipulative then I guess how we view communication is different. I quickly, well as quickly as I could, clarified what I was trying to get at when it became clear my point was missed.

If you’re referring to being unkind to David Coleman, well I personally don’t care what he thinks or feels.

After today I am going to add "soulforce.org" to my internet filter. I feel that I have nothing more to say to 99% of the people here. If you have something to say to me e-mail me though the sight.

-Venari

[themattperry]

Originally Posted by Venari

If you’re referring to being unkind to David Coleman, well I personally don’t care what he thinks or feels.

That is unfortunate.

I hope you are not really leaving Venari. This is a safe place for you ... God's peace if indeed this is the last of you.

[Jamie McDaniel]

Venari and I had a conversation today where he was given a choice to either be authentic with this community of people with whom he has developed a relationship over the past two months or take his leave. He chose the latter. I will give him time to reconsider. However if he changes his mind and desires to participate further, he first needs to tell everyone who he is with regard to the Equality Ride and NCU (which we now know). I encourage you all to send him your well wishes and challenge him not to leave.