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#21
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Women are given a natural pass on this topic... There's no lesbian baths, secret cruising areas and few hard core movies that aren't girl on girl made basically for men.... Compounding the sleaze, is that straight lust is tempered by the females willingness and emotional common sense. The Gay male community has no such built in buffer, and is worse off for its abscence...
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#22
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Quote:
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#23
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#24
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It was so interesting when I came out to my family, all of a sudden, after 40 years of knowing me inside and out, (pardon the pun), I was a pariah. My sisters who had let their sons stay with me for weeks that preceding summer, were horrified that their sons were "exposed" to homosexuality, as if I paraded them into my bedroom for a peep show. And as if I forced them to read my Advocate, and all the books I have on Lesbian/Gay relationships. And as if as I tucked them into bed at night (they were 3 and 4 at the time) I whispered, "You are going to grow up and be a flaming homo". All of a sudden that was the picture they painted of me, despite everything I had done up to that point to the contrary. All of a sudden I was a sex crazed nymphomaniac and could not be around children. To this day, my nephews are 5 and 6 and my sister will not even send me pictures of them, as if somehow by looking at the pictures, I will turn my nephews into Nate Berkus or Christopher Lowell. (my nephews should be so lucky)
I could only laugh because it is so preposterous and ludicrous. Somehow it all goes back to what I do in the bedroom, which by the way, to clear up any confusion, I do not publicize it nor do I talk about it to anyone. But now all of a sudden I am a villain. I think Keltic is right-the glbt community has been on the outside for so long, it says, "I am going to hell anyway, might as well enjoy life now." I say that the glbt community is a monster society at large has created, and it doesn't like what it has created. They throw us out of their families, their colleges, and their churches because they say we a vile creatures, abominations, so we live up to that label. In reality, 90% of us aren't like the labels placed on us. What I do in the bedroom is mine and my wife's business. Other than that, I am as normal as apple pie. I pay taxes to a government that does not grant me equal rights, I go to work for a homophobic school that would fire me if they knew I was gay, I go to church, an affirming church, and that is the only safe place in my world for me to be who I am. I live like everyone else. I am tired of being blasted for 5% of my life (my sex life) and everything else that I do is ignored or colored by the 5%. I am more than that what I do in the bedroom.
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#25
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So,
It's obvious that being sexual beings, that it's going to be a part of society no matter what our views are on it. The reality that sex, in it's many extremes will always be apart of our culture as humanity, but I absolutely believe that just because that is true, I shouldn't be force to participate in it. I guess for me, i think that as much as i can within reason, I will just choose to not take part in or support organizations that continuously over indulge in pushing things in such a pornographich (whether soft or hard) manner. interacting is one thing, but indulgence is another. Last edited by vaguy78; 05-28-2006 at 11:15 AM. Reason: misspelling |
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#26
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I think I agree to some extent that many people only see the sexual acts when they think of gay people. I've actually heard someone say of a gay friend (without knowing that I was gay) "He's such a great guy, but I can't stand that he does those things with other men." To some, nothing else matters.
Gay women are very different from gay men in society. We're treated very differently - two beautiful women loving each other for the sake of a male observer is the subject of beer commercials, comedy movies, porn for straight men, and more. I think sometimes that it was considered almost natural for women to want to take male roles because it was seen that males were dominant and it's natural to want to upgrade. Conversely, I know a few people who use the word "gay", but shudder at the word "lesbian" as if it's some kind of flesh-eating disease.
__________________
No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody. - Rita Mae Brown
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#27
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My own views on this subject is, of course, coloured by who I am and what I have seen and experienced in sixty years of observation of the LGBT scene.
When I was born, and throughout my youth and my early adulthood, the scientific community considered " homosexuality " as objectively disordered. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual described gayness as abnormal psychosexuality. Also, at that time, the Criminal Justice system in both the US and Canada considered " homosexual behaviour " as criminal to a serious misdemeanour or felonious level requiring prison terms. In that same period, it was nearly impossible to purchase, lease or rent a house or apartment without producing a legal marriage certificate or licence. Heterosexuals were equally discriminated upon on this issue. Please remember that birth certificates in both nations would state clearly whether or not you were " legitimate or illegitimate". Some Churches refused to ordain "bastard" children. It is also true that from my birth to early adulthood, gay bars were practically underground speakezies where vice cops would entrap onsite. The Mafia and other criminal elements often owned and operated these criminal activities. Gay bathhouses and other such venues were also a good source of criminal business activities. Can't you just hear script from the GODFATHER.......providing the services that the "pessonovante" refuse to allow legally. The nascent gay pornographic industry was supposedly an organised-crime initiated business. Fast forward to today. We have enlightened laws and psychiatric evaluations. No longer are gay bars opportunities for vice cops to arrest on site for merely engaging in a dating process. Today, the majority of lesbian and gays live lives of quiet desperation working daily in professions or occupations...coupled monogamously or trying to...and even raising children and attending gay-affirming houses of worship. The majority of individuals are not living psychosexually-oriented lives in gay ghettoes. I suspect that in several generations, the individuals so defined will represent about the same percentage of our community as does the Hugh Heffner, strip club guys whose lives are defined in pursuit of the next vagina. |
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