name change

[squirt07]

Hey guys. As I've continued self-discovery, I've realized I'm third gender. I'm seriously considering transitioning. Although I don't have a legal name change yet, I have asked friends and family to call me by my taken name.

Situation- There's a new restuarant in town and I want to apply for a job. Although it's not my legal name yet, can I use my taken name when applying? Or would I put it down as my preferred name? Or not use it at all until I've had a legal name change?

Anyone know the best way to handle this??

[koneill08]

Hello,

My partner is a ftm transgender, and hasn't made the complete transition yet either. My recommendation to you is, until your name is changed legally you should and probably must use your current legal name, otherwise they could fire you for falsifying information on your applications. Those legal documents usually state somewhere down near where you sign that you can be open to potential punishments of different sorts when you falsify information on your forms. Not only can you be open to potential retributions with an employer, but in some cases you could open yourself up to civil criminal issues if you don't use your current legal name. So to keep yourself protected, I would use your current legal name and do what you can to get your name quickly changed legally.

That's my 2 cents!

[drobs]

I would give that one some serious thought. I know of a guy that changed his legal name to Optimus Prime.

Sorry, I try to be non-judgemental, but that's crazy.

There is a youtube video floating around of this guy being interviewed by a reporter when the Transformers movie 1st came out. His son is curled up in a ball hiding his face while dad went on to brag about his name change.

[BruceChris]

So why not have a little fun with your name change? I knew a lesbian who's name was Carol, but she signed it Carroll, as a man would. And then there was Roberta, who became Bobbi, and finally Bobby.

Andy, short for androgynous?

Do you remember the character on Saturday Night Live, named Pat? No one could figure out if Pat was a He or a She. One day Pat mentioned a significant other. But this didn't help either. The S.O. was named Chris

Morph, short for morphadite? O.K., that's going too far.

Kelly, Terrie, Morgan, Drew, Dylan, Jamie, Jessie, Jordan, Parker, Phoenix, Quinn, Madison, Shannon, Shawn,

Google "Androgynous Names," you could waste a LOT of time on this.

Amanda,/Amanda B. Recondwith? Now I LIKE that one.

You can legally have as many names as you want, but I would limit it to maybe 5 or 6. Just make sure you include all of the ones you like. Keep the original in, somewhere?

I did much the same, changing my middle name to Chris only. . NOT Christine, or Christopher. But I might answer to Chrissy, maybe.

Peace and Love, Chris.

[BruceChris]

As long as it's not done to defraud. But for the job app, I'd use your original, whether you have gone to court or not.

You could say "your original name" but everybody calls me Murgatroyd, or Brunhilda, or whatever your "Nom du Jour* happens to be.

*French for "Name for the day"

BruChriSik,, part of my email address.

So Squirt, just what IS your chosen name?

[Tallit]

Use your legal name, the one associated with your social security number. you might want to cash your paycheck after all.

[koneill08]

Originally Posted by BruceChris

As long as it's not done to defraud. But for the job app, I'd use your original, whether you have gone to court or not.

You could say "your original name" but everybody calls me Murgatroyd, or Brunhilda, or whatever your "Nom du Jour* happens to be.

*French for "Name for the day"

BruChriSik,, part of my email address.

BruceChris, I agree, as far as what you call yourself (not you specifically, but people in general) in social situations (even at work). However, when you're talking about legal type paperwork, job applications, bank applications, loan paperwork, etc. you need to use your legal one. As Tallit said, it should be the one associated with your social security number, so as to keep yourself protected under the law and within provisions of working places. But I do like your idea, put your legal name on that stuff, but tell everyone else (if you're out about yourself) what you prefer to be called until your legal name is changed.

Enjoy.

[BruceChris]

Government will not know who you are. I went through that for too long, until I asked the right questions.

Peace and Love, (What name was I using again?)

[BrianB]

Your employer has to fill out tax forms so I would stick with your legal name for them. It would be much less messy if you had an audit from the IRS. You could mention that at work you want to be know as <your name> after you get the job.

[squirt07]

Thanks for all the helpful advice. Didn't get the job. sigh. But it's alright. Maybe I wasn't supposed to.

As for the new name... Aizen-Choi Kym.

Here's the thought process:
"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." ~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

To those I love and those who love me. You're probably wondering about Aizen-Choi. Aizen-Choi Kym, formerly known as X, is me. Self-discovery and creating who I want to become have facilitated this name change decision. The older I become in physical age, the more Asian I realize I am (nature) even though I grew up in American culture (nurture). Although my legal name reflected this (and by no means am I ungrateful about my adoption), I desired something deeper. A name that more accurately reflects me- appreciative of my past, enjoying my present, and looking forward to my future.

The breakdown-
Aizen-Choi: Asian first names are two syllable. Aizen is pronounced "i-zan." It's the Japanese translation of "Aeyŏm". Aeyŏm (Korean translation) is the King of love and desire according to Buddhist statute. Choi is my Korean birth surname. The combination of the two more fully represents the Asian essence I present to the world, no matter how stereotypical.

Kym: It's a common Korean surname, although spelled K-i-m. By keeping a part of my American given name, I keep a part of my (nurture) foundation. I show appreciation to the Land of Opportunity and the adoptive parents who raised me.


additional links:
http://buddhist-artwork.com/statues-...o-statues.html
http://www.ziewhodares.blogspot.com/

[BenL]

Aizen-Choi,

I also am the partner of an FTM transman. He has more or less completed transition, although he rightly is convinced that none of us is ever completely done with transitioning into our true selves.

Choosing a name is an important part of transition. It's a chance to try to capture some essence of who you are. Your thought processes honor that dynamic. Congratulations on your new name.

To adopt it as your legal name, in most states you must petition a court to make it official. Then you bring the name change document to Social Security to make it official with them. Only then, can you start to use it legally. Of course, it is your preferred name from the time you chose it for yourself, so it's quite reasonable to ask coworkers and colleagues to call you by your preferred name. Don't be surprised, though, here in the U.S., if people give you a nickname that sounds like it such as Aiden or Ivan or something. Americans in our Anglo-centric monoliguism simply don't take to what they consider "foreign-sounding" names.

Changing your gender marker (the "M" or "F") on your driver's license, birth certificate and with Social Security is much more difficult, presuming you even want to do that. That process begins with the birth certificate, and each state has its own rules on how to alter that. Since you were adopted, that may be difficult to do legally. It may depend on the rules in your birth country. And four states don't allow it all.

Good luck pursuing your newly emerging identity and congratulations on your self-growth.

[BruceChris]

In Korea, it is custom that you may never date someone with the same surname that you have, on the theory that you may, somehow, be related. (Those incest taboos must go out to 99th cousins) Of course Kim is the most common name in Korea. What if your one-and-only is named Kim?

You should perhaps change your name to Squirt Aizen-Choi Kym Kowalski. Now I know that NO one has ever met a Korean named Kowalski. You would be safe with that.

God's Love, BruceChris