Hi im C

[ireland]

No absolutly nothing wrong with falling in love. No she doesnt blame me for the way shes feeling, i just feel bad i guess when i see her hurting and i cant help. She is currently getting counselling, for other issues, and she has spoke to her counsellor about this but from what i gather the counsellor understands how her family is and the situation, which to be honest i would have thought they would see this as an unhealthy situation but what would i know. I guess i kinda hoped they would try and change her mindset into a healthy one.

As for work, yeah we do get our work done and it can be difficult at times. I have no intention of loosing my job, or her hers, jobs are very precious at the moment. Iv never met anyone through work before so its all new to me.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by ireland

No absolutly nothing wrong with falling in love. No she doesnt blame me for the way shes feeling, i just feel bad i guess when i see her hurting and i cant help. She is currently getting counselling, for other issues, and she has spoke to her counsellor about this but from what i gather the counsellor understands how her family is and the situation, which to be honest i would have thought they would see this as an unhealthy situation but what would i know. I guess i kinda hoped they would try and change her mindset into a healthy one.

As for work, yeah we do get our work done and it can be difficult at times. I have no intention of loosing my job, or her hers, jobs are very precious at the moment. Iv never met anyone through work before so its all new to me.

If her counselor is a 'christian' counselor, then I doubt very much that she (?) would be in favor of accepting her orientation. Of course this is third hand, but the counselor has no business 'understanding' the parents. Her JOB is to help the patient understand herself. That said, the counselor is going to take her or his lead from the patient. It's all up to her in the end.

You are in a very difficult situation seeing that the person you have feelings for also works with you. Some would tell you to break things off and keep your distance. Truly, no one can tell you what to do. Again: I encourage you to get very very quiet so as to listen to you intuition/inner guidance.

[ireland]

I have no idea if the counsellor is a chriastian or not. Yeah to be honest if someone came to me and asked my advice on this situation id say 'break it off' tho now im in the situation thats not so easy. The love is too strong to just walk away.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by ireland

I have no idea if the counsellor is a chriastian or not. Yeah to be honest if someone came to me and asked my advice on this situation id say 'break it off' tho now im in the situation thats not so easy. The love is too strong to just walk away.

A wise counselor to me once said this: "If you listen closely to someone, you will notice that they will tell you what their problem is and how to deal with it, and then they will ignore it."

Common sense is telling you to pull back. However, you've become 'emeshed'. And since you work together, the 'problem' is in your face all the time.

I suggest you pull back at least far enough to get your bearings.

[BrianB]

Originally Posted by ireland

I have no idea if the counsellor is a chriastian or not. Yeah to be honest if someone came to me and asked my advice on this situation id say 'break it off' tho now im in the situation thats not so easy. The love is too strong to just walk away.

I can understand someone being scared to come out. It took me years and years to accept my orientation and tell my parents. Once done it was the most freeing thing ever in my life! It was extremely hard but I had several people supporting me. If she can at least consider the idea of coming out I might hang on. Ask her to picture in her mind how she would tell her parents. Maybe you can give her ideas or role play with her. If she won't even picture it then there isn't too much hope.

[ireland]

Hey guys its been a wile since my last post, im still in the same situation, well worse. Her mother just wont accept it no way, she thinks its something you can be delivered from, cured, wat are your thoughts on this? I figure not, i do not see it as a disease. Im fighting a loosing battle but i am a fighter and i will fight i jus need some hope. Its been the week from hell, shes under so much pressure at home its so unfair, my heart breaks for her. Her mother is speaking to someone who is ex-gay, is there such a thing? Im jus baffled with it all.

[E.B.G.]

Don't believe a word she says. Try if you can to make her watch the educational cartoon in the middle of the documentary, For the Bible Tells MeSo. If it means anything to you at all, do whatever you can to make this woman realize that (as the cartoon does say), "You can't just decide who to love."

[Daniel]

As long as she is living with her mother (and she is, right?) then all bets are off. The only way things are get going to get better is if there is a literal separation- some kind of distance. Of course, her mother does not know what she is talking about. Yes. There are people who claim they can pray away the gay. But this amounts to repression, not a change of orientation.

Love and attraction has it's own rules and laws. And these are matters of the heart. Love and desire, attraction and longing are like A big wide river. You just can't change its direction.