How to be mindful in dating relationships and breaking up?

[nova27]

Hello everyone. I recently broke up with my girllfriend and have been feeling sad about it. I just felt a gut instinct that she wasn't right for me and also had a few trust issues, she did not feel this way and thought that we could work well together.

I notice that I feel guilty for hurting her, just by breaking up with her even though the relationship didn't feel right to me. I was the first girlfriend she ever had and the first person she was intimate with. I was curious if others here also experienced guilt for breaking up with someone, and how you were able to reconcile that?

Also, I know in dating there can be quite a bit of pain involved. How do you reconcile this and date mindfully and hurt others as little as possible? Or do you think these are necessary experiences for our growth?

Much love, -E

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by nova27

Hello everyone. I recently broke up with my girllfriend and have been feeling sad about it. I just felt a gut instinct that she wasn't right for me and also had a few trust issues, she did not feel this way and thought that we could work well together.

I notice that I feel guilty for hurting her, just by breaking up with her even though the relationship didn't feel right to me. I was the first girlfriend she ever had and the first person she was intimate with. I was curious if others here also experienced guilt for breaking up with someone, and how you were able to reconcile that?

Also, I know in dating there can be quite a bit of pain involved. How do you reconcile this and date mindfully and hurt others as little as possible? Or do you think these are necessary experiences for our growth?

Much love, -E

Hi Nova- Here's what stands out to me. Feeling guilty vs feeling sad- or some other feeling. If you are interested in being mindful, I suggest looking under the 'guilt' feeling and see what is there. I would also like to point out that while relationships are a two-way street, we aren't responsible for making another person happy, and neither are they responsible for making us happy. It's more like a dance two people choose to engage in. If one person stops...well...there is pain. And that is part of life. Can pain we avoided? No. It's how to deal with it that's the key.

I suggest adopting a 'heart' practice, one which leads you to be every more compassionate with yourself and with others.

[fusion]

The first time you will fill sad but it stops when you meet another girl, much better than previous one. Try to be just good friends with your ex-girlfriend.