Hi, just introducing myself.

[Justmum]

Hi I'm new around here.I'm a mum of three children living in the UK.My children are 17, 15 and 9 and I've been married for 23 years.We all attend an evangelical church and I've been a Christian since childhood.

My eldest came out as a lesbian to us in March.She has a girlfriend who she has been with for about six months.This has been a steep learning curve for us as a family.

We are a fundamentalist sort of church and we take the Bible literally, so this could be a stumbling block for us.

I'm interested to hear from others going through the same process and hearing how they have reconciled their beliefs with the situation. Thanks.

[Gennee]

Hi and welcome to Soulforce. I am a transgender person and a Christian. You will face some challenges to your own feelings and beliefs. I faced a number of challenges when I came out over six years ago at age fifty-six.

Learn all you can about what it is to be lesbian. Accept and affirm your daughter for who she is. That will really go a long way for both of you.

[Justmum]

Thank you Gennee for your warm welcome.Your journey sounds an amazing one as well.I am trying to find out all I can about being lesbian in order to understand better.It is so difficult as despite some good scientific evidence for homosexuality, some christian books I read suggest lesbians have a poor relationship with their mothers, which is hurtful to say the least.My daughter has never been traditionally feminine and now wears all male clothes, so I did wonder if she was transgender but she says she is happy to be female.Thing is it is all so complex for straight people to understand.I never really questioned my gender role, who I was attracted to etc. so I've never had to think about it much.Any way thanks again.

[Gennee]

I've heard that before. It's said that transgender people are confused but I know that's not true. Most gay and lesbian folks I know knew that they were different as young as three years old. There are scientific evidence about this during the development of the child in the womb. I will get a list of books that may help you.

[Justmum]

Thanks Gennee, that would be useful.

[offog]

Glad to welcome a new member.

One thing to keep in mind is that people don't choose to be gay or lesbian. Back around 1987 I went to a political debate that included discussion of gay rights. One of the candidates said "No one chooses to belong to a group that is so despised."

I'm actually a straight woman, but I've always been sympathatic to "queer" people because I was a really nerdy kid with thick glasses and no social skills. I have some sense of what it's like to feel that you don't fit in anywhere and can't be yourself. Adolescence is tough enough as it is without being lesbian. Your daughter needs all the love and support she can get.

I see so many stories in the news about gay kids committing suicide because of homophobic bullying. Please make sure your kid doesn't become one of those statistics. (Yes, I know what it's like to feel suicidal too.)

The fact that you've joined this site indicates that you're not going to reject your daughter out of hand. Good for you!

This website once helped me get through something traumatic and I'm sure Soulforce can help you and your family as well.

All my love to you and your family!

[AlRubyx]

Thank you, thank you, for at least trying to understand. My parents don't even really try, they always say "This is what the bible says, here it is, there can be no other interpretations, you're going to hell why bother" It's really quite sad. I've attempted suicide many times, almost succeeded a few of them.

[Justmum]

Great to hear from you Offog and AlRubyx.
I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low AlRubyx. You must remember that God made you and He loves you as you are.He wants to be the Lord of your life.Your parents are shocked and are saying things because they are hurt.It is a big shock to discover that your child is gay and it is SO hard for straight people to understand what you are going through.
I will pray for you.Are you still attending church?You need people alongside you to help.I work in mental health as a volunteer and I would urge you to seek help for your depression.Your life is a precious gift.

Offog, thank you for your welcome and your support, it is much appreciated.I'm glad Soulforce has been such a blessing to you.

[marphy]

Hi everyone i'm a newbie herejust like you guys, i am a christian with a great faith in God. i'd like to believe that homosexuality is not a sin and that we homosexuals are not what others think.. i hope and pray that we will have equality in giving love towards our partner regardless of our gender. Say "No to Gender discrimination".

[Justmum]

Hi Marphy and welcome.I'm new around here too.Please tell us more about yourself.

[blogs]

Glad to welcome a new member.

[papi29]

Glad to have you here!

[Andragogy]

You sound like a great mom, I hope your openness helps your daughter find her way through this time in her life. Unfortunately, I think you will continue to wrestle with the issue if you stay at your current church. Any sermons or reading materials that refer to homosexuality will be biased against it. There are some great reading materials on the Soulforce website that can help you understand the issue from a different perspective, but I suggest you find a church to which your whole family can feel a sense of belonging. Blessings to you and your family.

[nhatht]

Thank you, thank you, for at least trying to understand. My parents don't even really try, they always say "This is what the bible says, here it is, there can be no other interpretations, you're going to hell why bother" It's really quite sad. I've attempted suicide many times, almost succeeded a few of them.

[Jackrot]

As a Christian and a Father I have never been able to understand how a parent could turn their child away, its just too hard for me to consider. The Lord has told us not to judge but to love. The best advice I can give you is to love your daughter and remember that she is a child of God.

I too am new to this website. I am glad to see support and love for everyone, if only this could be acheived on a grander scale.

[Gennee]

Originally Posted by nhatht

Thank you, thank you, for at least trying to understand. My parents don't even really try, they always say "This is what the bible says, here it is, there can be no other interpretations, you're going to hell why bother" It's really quite sad. I've attempted suicide many times, almost succeeded a few of them.

I'm sorry to hear that your parents feel that way. All you can do is pray for them.

[CharPgs]

I am so sorry to hear that as well nhatht. I pray that you will find strength and recognize the love that you are given. I also pray for your parents that their hearts and minds will be opened.